My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years. He used to tell me he wanted me to stay home with the kids while he worked. Now he is  throwing it in my face how I don't  work and he does. We have two autistic boys who are 4 and 5. He knows I was raped before we got together but likes to act out rape fantasies in the bedroom or role playing  where I am the slave, or babysitter or something. He gets angry when he doesn't get sex cuz I am in pain (endometriosis) I have even been made to feel guilty because I started my period when he wanted sex. He has cheated on me but said it was my fault cuz I wasn't giving it to him enough and because I told him to find it somewhere else. I am constantly being told I have no common sense or to shut up or to stop giving him lip cuz one of these days he is going to knock me out. He breaks  things when he get angry at them (like cell phones when they are being slow). This morning  he told me to shut up and I said  I  was  sick of being  told to shut up and sick of being  disrespected in my own home. He grabbed  me by my arm and was in my face. I was so scared I don't  remember  what he said. This was seven hours ago and my arm still hurts. How long before  he hits me? I have tried to make him leave but I always let him come back because  I  can't  handle the kids full time on my own plus the pain from my endo and depression and anxiety. I am looking  for  a  job so that hopefully  I can get away from  this but I don't  know  how  long I have before  he actually  hits me. Friends and family  will not help anymore because  every time he leaves I let him come back thinking he has changed.  I am so confused I love him but today is the first time I am actually  afraid of him.