I don't think he called Masturbation SEX. ZHe just referred to Sex as a Term in the General Sense.
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Totally disagree. It's not wrong at all. I think many siblings do this and friends also.
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I honestly think you are an amazingly thoughtful and open dad. I think we are too quick to focus on and point out negatives when this story has so many positives. During a short conversation with your son and daughter, you spoke about a very controversial topic, sex and masturbation. This opened the door to discussing more intimate subjects with them, and you grew closer with them as you accepted them masturbating the way they did. I am unsure how long it's been since the original post and your reply (2014?), but I am curious about an update on those two and how you and they have gotten closer. I am not concerned about porn. These two were probably at their peak in horniness and curiosity. By now, they are probably married.
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I wish OP would give an update on how his son and daughter turned out. I feel this behavior is not healthy, and my friend is having similar struggles with her daughter (12) and her late husband’s son (11). They are step siblings but my friend is at a loss at what to do.
She walked in on them naked and touching each other a few months ago. When they saw their mother they were ashamed and said they were just curious about their physical differences. She told them to stop but they both are very difficult at times, and a few days later she caught them again. This time she heard her daughter telling him that she liked how his penis grew in her hand, and that she heard at school that if you keep stroking it “white pee” will come out. My friend pulled them aside and once again told them that this is inappropriate behavior. She told me that this sort of thing happened again and again in the following months.
Last week she told me that she caught them again, but this time instead of just masturbating each other, they were doing it. She freaked out obviously but she feels she has lost all control.
My friend is at a loss because she feels she cannot control them and as a single mother she can’t always be there. So she told me she has resorted to just letting them continue but she is doing what she can to keep them safe. After she discovered them doing it she checked her son and luckily he hasn’t reached spermarche yet, but it’s just a matter of time. She is so distraught. She gave them condoms to use but he said his sister doesn’t like it. She can’t get them to use it, so she has been checking him every day to see if he is having emissions yet.
She is so afraid because her daughter started having periods and it’s just a matter of time it goes horribly wrong. She is so lost
She walked in on them naked and touching each other a few months ago. When they saw their mother they were ashamed and said they were just curious about their physical differences. She told them to stop but they both are very difficult at times, and a few days later she caught them again. This time she heard her daughter telling him that she liked how his penis grew in her hand, and that she heard at school that if you keep stroking it “white pee” will come out. My friend pulled them aside and once again told them that this is inappropriate behavior. She told me that this sort of thing happened again and again in the following months.
Last week she told me that she caught them again, but this time instead of just masturbating each other, they were doing it. She freaked out obviously but she feels she has lost all control.
My friend is at a loss because she feels she cannot control them and as a single mother she can’t always be there. So she told me she has resorted to just letting them continue but she is doing what she can to keep them safe. After she discovered them doing it she checked her son and luckily he hasn’t reached spermarche yet, but it’s just a matter of time. She is so distraught. She gave them condoms to use but he said his sister doesn’t like it. She can’t get them to use it, so she has been checking him every day to see if he is having emissions yet.
She is so afraid because her daughter started having periods and it’s just a matter of time it goes horribly wrong. She is so lost
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With all the replies James the father got (over 10 years, but mainly in the first year), I am surprised this one got no replies in the 11 months up until now. James' situation, although unusual and uncomfortable, seemed to be under control. Congratulations for making the right call as a single/widowed father. This piece is a second-hand account of what we call a "train-wreck", a disaster that has yet to happen but we can see coming. The biggest difference that stands out to me if that James is the father and this is the mother, and as often happens when a mother is raising kids alone, the kids disregard anything their mother says that they don't want to hear. They have already crossed a line that you never want them to cross. They are having sex, and once someone starts having sex, they have a very strong drive to keep on having sex. This is something you really want to stop. I'll give you the future world fantasy answer (but the one that would be sure to work) first. If people had modular bodies, you could open up the access panel down there and pop her ovaries out, or unzip his scrotum and take his testicles out, or open up the access panel, disconnect his penis and pull it out of him. In all three cases, you would hook-up the removed part with the support machine and reinstall it once they show a lever of emotional maturity that would give you confidents that they wouldn't have sex just because they felt like it. (Gotta go right now, but I'll give you the real world, but less certain of success, answers when I get back to this.)
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Here's the situation as of 11 months ago - A friend of the author is a widow who is raising her 12 year old daughter and the 11 year old son of her late husband. There is no word about the father of the daughter or the mother of the son. Apparently, when the son and daughter were left alone, they discovered sex-play. This has evolved into out and out sex. The mother caught them in the sex-play and told them to stop doing it. She has since caught them in the full sex act, so her "Don't." is ineffective with them. The one good thing about them as a pair is that they are not biologically related.
A few more facts and my thoughts about the daughter; She has begun to menstruate and has referred to hearing in school about pumping "white pee" out of a boy. This gives the mother an excuse to give a thorough sex education talk because you're not going to be talking about "white pee" if you got quality sex education. She should ask her daughter if she know what "having periods" means about her body. (Short answer) It means she is now capable of having a baby, but she can't do that alone. Here's where that "white pee" comes in. For the rest of the world, that is called semen/sperm. The sperm will swim up from where the guy's penis pumped it into her vagina up to her egg and fertilize it. Then she is going to have a baby 9 months later. After explaining this, the mother should ask the daughter, "What would you do if you became pregnant?" or "had a baby?" Her answer for the first version could be "I'd have an abortion." I have some moral problems with that but I don' want to "open up a can of worms" here so I'll just leave it at that. If she answered the second version of the question, I would mention adoption, but would tell her that if she didn't exercise that option, she would be caring for that kid until it was 18 or so. For a 12 year old, that's a loooong time. I would like to think that our little talk would cause her to put an end to her sex life for now, but it would be wise not to count on it. Other options? Send he to live with her father, but he could be such a mess that it would be better to "drop her off in the forest to be raised by wolves". I could put her on the pill, but I probably couldn't count on her to use it regularly enough to be effective. I suspect IUDs probably aren't even legal today, and she could just pull hers out. There used to be a contraceptive "stick" that was incented into a woman's shoulder and would keep her sterile for 6-12 months. If it is still available, that would be the way to go, since she couldn't screw it up.
Enough about the daughter, now about the son; I suspect that the boy's mother is no more a suitable parent than the girl's father, so that side of "Get one of them out of living under the same roof." probably won't work either. I haven't been to a sixth grade shower room recently to see if I'm right, but I have the impression that most 11 year old boys look like they have yet to start puberty, so most of them are a year to two away from being able pump the load of sperm into a girl/woman needed to get her pregnant. I suspect this boy is an "early-bloomer", since if the mother found he was having sex with a two inch erection, she'd know he was a year or so away from being able become a father, but I could be wrong about her ability to do this cool annalist. We are told this boy has been checked and found to not be producing sperm yet, but they are continuing to check on a regular basis. I don't know how they do this. There's no button down there that says "ejaculate". You can't put a meter on the end of his penis for a few weeks to catch any sperm that comes through. Could a doctor massage his prostate to get it to release anything that is in the reproductive system? Perhaps. Ask the boy to masterbate so we can see what he pumps out with the understanding that a load of sperm means, "No more sex."? He'll be looking for a way to sabotage it. I would expect that the threat of pregnancy would be more effective on a girl than a boy when it comes to motivating him to stop having sex. But the financial threat may work. Something like, "If you get a girl pregnant, you'd better make friends of guys with cars because child support will take so much money out of you that have enough left over to buy a car until your 20s if not your 30s.
Going all the way back to James and his kids, their attitude about "Watch but don't touch your sibling." sounds so much better and simpler.
A few more facts and my thoughts about the daughter; She has begun to menstruate and has referred to hearing in school about pumping "white pee" out of a boy. This gives the mother an excuse to give a thorough sex education talk because you're not going to be talking about "white pee" if you got quality sex education. She should ask her daughter if she know what "having periods" means about her body. (Short answer) It means she is now capable of having a baby, but she can't do that alone. Here's where that "white pee" comes in. For the rest of the world, that is called semen/sperm. The sperm will swim up from where the guy's penis pumped it into her vagina up to her egg and fertilize it. Then she is going to have a baby 9 months later. After explaining this, the mother should ask the daughter, "What would you do if you became pregnant?" or "had a baby?" Her answer for the first version could be "I'd have an abortion." I have some moral problems with that but I don' want to "open up a can of worms" here so I'll just leave it at that. If she answered the second version of the question, I would mention adoption, but would tell her that if she didn't exercise that option, she would be caring for that kid until it was 18 or so. For a 12 year old, that's a loooong time. I would like to think that our little talk would cause her to put an end to her sex life for now, but it would be wise not to count on it. Other options? Send he to live with her father, but he could be such a mess that it would be better to "drop her off in the forest to be raised by wolves". I could put her on the pill, but I probably couldn't count on her to use it regularly enough to be effective. I suspect IUDs probably aren't even legal today, and she could just pull hers out. There used to be a contraceptive "stick" that was incented into a woman's shoulder and would keep her sterile for 6-12 months. If it is still available, that would be the way to go, since she couldn't screw it up.
Enough about the daughter, now about the son; I suspect that the boy's mother is no more a suitable parent than the girl's father, so that side of "Get one of them out of living under the same roof." probably won't work either. I haven't been to a sixth grade shower room recently to see if I'm right, but I have the impression that most 11 year old boys look like they have yet to start puberty, so most of them are a year to two away from being able pump the load of sperm into a girl/woman needed to get her pregnant. I suspect this boy is an "early-bloomer", since if the mother found he was having sex with a two inch erection, she'd know he was a year or so away from being able become a father, but I could be wrong about her ability to do this cool annalist. We are told this boy has been checked and found to not be producing sperm yet, but they are continuing to check on a regular basis. I don't know how they do this. There's no button down there that says "ejaculate". You can't put a meter on the end of his penis for a few weeks to catch any sperm that comes through. Could a doctor massage his prostate to get it to release anything that is in the reproductive system? Perhaps. Ask the boy to masterbate so we can see what he pumps out with the understanding that a load of sperm means, "No more sex."? He'll be looking for a way to sabotage it. I would expect that the threat of pregnancy would be more effective on a girl than a boy when it comes to motivating him to stop having sex. But the financial threat may work. Something like, "If you get a girl pregnant, you'd better make friends of guys with cars because child support will take so much money out of you that have enough left over to buy a car until your 20s if not your 30s.
Going all the way back to James and his kids, their attitude about "Watch but don't touch your sibling." sounds so much better and simpler.
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