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b] My story: 5 weeks ago i was stupid enough to take what i believed to be cocaine, i have never taken this before but my husband and i were constantly arguing and his alcohol fuelled rows got too much for me and when i went out i took what i thought was the cocaine with a "trusted male friend" of ours, not that thats any excuse i have to live with the consequenses everyday of my life. i dont recall much of the evening i took the 'cocaine' but the next day i woke up in the males flat naked, bruised cut and in severe pain, i went home and told my husband what i believed had happened, my parents came over and called the police,when my parents left the room my husband said, you dirty little sl@@ your story doesnt add up! I was heartbroken, i went for a medical exam with the police, the interview was stopped bcoz the police told my hubby had been drinking.. he had.. I had just been poked and prodded and he was half cut. Trying to cope with all thats happened hubby asked for sex a few days later, i said no. He said i still have needs, i said you wont have needs if ive been given HIV and i pass it onto you. Anyway things got a lot worse over the next week, he accused me of everything from having an affair to making the whole thing up, I decided i wanted to leave with my three children 6, 4 and 17months after an argument he was making threats, i picked up the phone and he grabbed it off me and as he did his fist hit my cheek. I left 2 days later. Ive helped him move out of the area and told him that i dont want to be with him but all he keeps saying is, 'il win you back' il prove i wont drink etc etc but i certainly dont want him back - the reason im writting this i suppose is because i thought i could deal with anything but tonight in my new house he came round and we had a big row, he wont accept were over, he keeps trying to hug and kiss me and say how lovely things will be when tonight we had the row and he said something to my little girl like mum is so bad u know for arguing, shes doing this darling ignore her. I turned round and said how dare you say that, ive spent the last 6 yrs covering up your drinking for the sake of her and he said OHH WELL DONE hayley come sit your ar@e down here and tell Louise (6) about your f~@@@@ drug use! GO ON TELL HER our lovely daughter about the c**p that youve benn taking! I can handle anything thrown at me but i cant handle that with my daughter and i wont take anymore, i just dont know what to do next for the best, no doubt in the morning he will want to "talk" but im so mad, i dont want him near me all day everyday, he has a new house i have a new house but theres always an excuse for him to come here everyday. I dont know how to handle this situation, it all getting unfair on the kids but if i say well i only want you to come on a saturday to pick up and drop off the kids etc he will go beserk, on the other hand i think he will go mad anyway but it worries me that he just 'wont get it' or accept were over, In regards to the kids i think so far ive been very generous to him as he whines about money IVE been giving him money even though he has £900 more than i do i have 3 mouths to feed, he doesnt. Part of me doesnt want to stop him having acces to the kids but the other part of me worries about what he's saying to my eldest daughter 6 when im not arround. please help and sorry this is such a long post xx

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Are there any women's shelter or a relatives home far away that you can stay for a while? It may be best for the two of you not to see each other for a while.
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even i dont know :(
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f**k you asswhole. you smell like sh*t and macoroni. go f**k yourself and you smell like sh*t. thank you.

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