At the beginning of summer, a girl called me a lesbian after I called her one for liking Justin Bieber (we were fighting back and forth). I know it's stupid, but I couldn't stop thinking about the comment. When she first said that I got an insecure feeling. Each day got a little worse. I focused on that comment more and more (it was all I could do- I had no friends to hang out with and all summer I was alone with my family- in my house). I started crying up in my room all day long asking "Am I straight?" questions on answer sites. I couldn't watch television because every time I saw any character/person, my anxiety would shout through the roof and I'd throw up.
Before I got called a lesbian, I only ever had crushes on guys. I was always daydreaming about being with one. I couldn't wait to get married and have children one day. But now I feel like that part of me was just a cover-up and that I can't ever get my old self back.
I don't want to take being a lesbian or bisexual as an option at all. I just want to straight. I want to be normal like everyone else and I just don't think it's one of those things considered as normal to be a lesbian. I never liked butched girls and I always hated Ellen Degenerous because of her hairstyle and just... her. I don't know! I do know that I never thought of the possibility of being gay before all this. I just turned fourteen not too long ago if that's important.
I never get to know what it's like to be normal and heterosexual with a man. My kid won't know what it's like to grow up in a normal household with a father. I probably won't even ever have kids.
During this doubting, I tried masturbating while thinking of being with girls. I was concentrating solely on how it would physically feel to be with a girl because I don't think at the time I did this that I was able to get turned on by just think of a girl. Maybe I got groinal responses but maybe not actually turned on. Or I could've just felt it was awkward or hard to imagine. Anyways, I was able to masturbate while thinking of how it would feel to be with a girl. I always avoid thinking of what it would be like to be with a girl romantically because I just don't like thinking about it. I don't think I've ever had an emotional connect with a girl either. I hated girls for being bitchy just because they were on their periods, for being naggy all the time, being prettier than me, and talking to much, etc. (I sound like the b***h here... :-|)
Before HOCD I never thought about being with a girl and looked forward to a future with a husband. When Twilight came out, I was obsessed with Robert Pattinson. Does obsessed count as a major-crush? I had posters of him that covered like a wallpaper in my room. I dyed my hair to look like Bella's ( :-| ) and loved his hair. When it was in all the magazines that he had started dating Kristen Stewart, I started not really liking him anymore. Just this past school year I had a crush on another kid in my class but that ended after I found out he had dated practically every grade 8 girl in the school.
When that girl called me a lesbian I started reaching the point to where sometimes I completely believed it but a few minutes after saying "Okay then... I'm a lesbian." I would start freaking out and saying "What the heck did I just say?! Oh God, I must really be one now!". Earlier on, I would play little games where I'd- for example- tell myself "If my cat walks over to me on the third time I snap my fingers, then I will know that I am straight." and if the cat DID come, I would momentarily take this as proof of my heterosexuality. If the cat did not come, I would become even more worried and repeat this action over and over until it did turn out the way I wanted. There were some times during this entire thing that I started
I'm pretty sure I have regular OCD as well. My mom and the rest of her side of the family have it severely, and I have some of the same symptoms. Not sure if this also counts as a symptom of OCD, but in school if I make the smallest pen mark I have to pull out a new sheet of paper and start over and over until I like the way it looks. Sometimes I have to check over and over if I did something or if I forgot something.
I used words like "lesbian" and "dyke" quite loosely when I got mad a people and never really thought anything of it. (This post makes me sound like such an awful person!!) But last year I got really self conscious because I was alone most of the time and I had this sort-of-friend that would always spot my imperfections. So I guess what that girl said triggered the straw-on-the-camels-back effect. Do you think I am straight and just insane? (I know I'm insane, but I don't want to be insane AND gay. Just insane is enough.) :'(
Before I got called a lesbian, I only ever had crushes on guys. I was always daydreaming about being with one. I couldn't wait to get married and have children one day. But now I feel like that part of me was just a cover-up and that I can't ever get my old self back.
I don't want to take being a lesbian or bisexual as an option at all. I just want to straight. I want to be normal like everyone else and I just don't think it's one of those things considered as normal to be a lesbian. I never liked butched girls and I always hated Ellen Degenerous because of her hairstyle and just... her. I don't know! I do know that I never thought of the possibility of being gay before all this. I just turned fourteen not too long ago if that's important.
I never get to know what it's like to be normal and heterosexual with a man. My kid won't know what it's like to grow up in a normal household with a father. I probably won't even ever have kids.
During this doubting, I tried masturbating while thinking of being with girls. I was concentrating solely on how it would physically feel to be with a girl because I don't think at the time I did this that I was able to get turned on by just think of a girl. Maybe I got groinal responses but maybe not actually turned on. Or I could've just felt it was awkward or hard to imagine. Anyways, I was able to masturbate while thinking of how it would feel to be with a girl. I always avoid thinking of what it would be like to be with a girl romantically because I just don't like thinking about it. I don't think I've ever had an emotional connect with a girl either. I hated girls for being bitchy just because they were on their periods, for being naggy all the time, being prettier than me, and talking to much, etc. (I sound like the b***h here... :-|)
Before HOCD I never thought about being with a girl and looked forward to a future with a husband. When Twilight came out, I was obsessed with Robert Pattinson. Does obsessed count as a major-crush? I had posters of him that covered like a wallpaper in my room. I dyed my hair to look like Bella's ( :-| ) and loved his hair. When it was in all the magazines that he had started dating Kristen Stewart, I started not really liking him anymore. Just this past school year I had a crush on another kid in my class but that ended after I found out he had dated practically every grade 8 girl in the school.
When that girl called me a lesbian I started reaching the point to where sometimes I completely believed it but a few minutes after saying "Okay then... I'm a lesbian." I would start freaking out and saying "What the heck did I just say?! Oh God, I must really be one now!". Earlier on, I would play little games where I'd- for example- tell myself "If my cat walks over to me on the third time I snap my fingers, then I will know that I am straight." and if the cat DID come, I would momentarily take this as proof of my heterosexuality. If the cat did not come, I would become even more worried and repeat this action over and over until it did turn out the way I wanted. There were some times during this entire thing that I started
I'm pretty sure I have regular OCD as well. My mom and the rest of her side of the family have it severely, and I have some of the same symptoms. Not sure if this also counts as a symptom of OCD, but in school if I make the smallest pen mark I have to pull out a new sheet of paper and start over and over until I like the way it looks. Sometimes I have to check over and over if I did something or if I forgot something.
I used words like "lesbian" and "dyke" quite loosely when I got mad a people and never really thought anything of it. (This post makes me sound like such an awful person!!) But last year I got really self conscious because I was alone most of the time and I had this sort-of-friend that would always spot my imperfections. So I guess what that girl said triggered the straw-on-the-camels-back effect. Do you think I am straight and just insane? (I know I'm insane, but I don't want to be insane AND gay. Just insane is enough.) :'(
Let me tell you something! Most of girls must have thought about having sex with another girl once at least in their life. That doesn't mean they are lesbians. It may even sound sexy. I don't believe you're lesbian unless you have sex with a girl. I suggest you to talk with a doctor instead of posting here. Because your situation is normal but you're not.
are you a virgin? If so.. you will never know if you like girls for sure or not unless you have sex with a girl... or even a guy at that. It's not wrong to like the same sex... When you do become sexual you will realize that the whole guy/ girl thing is sometimes not enough. I'm a married woman. I love love love to be with my man... but when I am alone masturbating I watch lesbian porn.. or fantasize what it would be like to be with a girl. Never have been. It's just fantasy.. something taboo that makes me excited to think about... It makes me "bi- curious" I would actually like to have an experience with a girl.. I almost had the chance too before I met my husband but I chickeded out cuz I wasn't very comfortable. It's normal to think about this stuff. It doesn't make you gay to think about it. Until you get into a situation where you have the chance to be with a girl and you feel comfortable to try it... you have nothing to worry about. You'll know when the time comes whether you like boys or girls. It will be a feeling you have when you have sex.. The lesbian I almost was with told me that she had been with guys and was disgusted by it.. she didn't even like penetration at all... so she tried dating girls and low and behold she loved it. It may take some experimenting.. or.. maybe your like and just like to fantasize about it. Doesn't make me a lesbian.. I still get off with my husband just fine.
Listen! Stop obsessing. It's clear that your not a lesbian or bi-sexual, you're just obssesive compulsive. Think of a hypocondriac (or however thats spelled); they always fear that they have a new health condition, but its all in their minds. My advise is to stop listening to people online because most people who write responses here are weird. Just relax, forget about it and that will give you the obvious response. That you got freaked out because you had too much time in your hand by yourself and you've always been attracted to boys. So stop obssesing, you already answered your question. You sound like a cute neurotic girl. Don't sweat the little things.
Someone called you a lesbian, so now you think you are one? That's......interesting. You called your friend a lesbian first, and I suspect she's not now convinced that she's a lesbian.....so basically, your only problem is that you can dish it out but you can't take it. Youre not a lesbian, you're just stupid.
Ok you know what! All of this is bull sh*t! I am bio and proud! Hunni. The only way you will know for sure is if you Follow your intuition and feel what's Wright for you... I have never had sex before with any one it any thing... and I know I'm bio because when I with a special guy or girl ... every thing just feels Right... :) ( hope this helped)
hey u der
plz reply i need to talk to you
Angeline if you ever see this post plz reply
I need to talk to you.. plz reply to my posts as soon as you see them..
Angeline plz reply as soon as possible
You need to calm down. Being bisexual and lesbian is normal. I'm bisexual and I'm very proud of it :D Besides you can't really control the way you feel about other people. If it happens it happens. What ever tickles your pickle ;D Also stop calling people names especially if you can't take what comes back to you. It just makes you look weak.(:
hope I helped (sowwie if I sounded like a b***h, but Hun the truth hurts) (:
hope I helped (sowwie if I sounded like a b***h, but Hun the truth hurts) (:
Im bio too. And dgaf about wat no one has to say
Uhh ok u r normal, you just think think and u r making urself believe that u r leZ. Sit down and think, do I like a girl?do I feel like I could date a girl?do I like a guy? Who is he? Do I feel weird around any girls?? What do I feel like?take any lez quizzes and answer honestly. Think and not just believe u r lez cuz the girl said u r!
I am bi too! And proud of it!