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Hey im a 20 year old girl and i've just had a medical abortion a few days ago. I was so torn whether or not to keep it because i am going to second year of uni, i  have no savings, my parents would have disowned me...how could i cope with a baby. My boyfriend said he would back me up on any decision i made but i feel as though its his fault i chose to abort. he doesn't show any emotion in front of me and i cant talk to him anymore or anyone about this. On top of this my best mate is 8 months pregnant- i cant even text them back or see them because her bump is just a reminder of what i could have had. i feel so alone. Im not even sure if i love my boyfriend anymore...i don't even love myself at the moment. i feel like a coward for killing my baby. i hate my myself for killing my innocent baby. Does anyone else feel like this? Please help xx

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Hi Ambi,

Can you find someone to talk to, a counselor, or other person that you can share your grief with.  You need to grieve and it's OK.  Maybe someone at school is available.  

Don't go through this alone.

There is a chance your boyfriend just doesn't know how to respond.  It was his baby too.  Give him a chance.

Hope it helps.
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My boyfriend doesnt want to talk about it. Whenever I try he just says its over now move on. He always tries to be the strong one but its making me feel even more alone. He says there wasnt a baby and that I have to remember the reasons why I chose to give it up.

I feel so guilty about the baby, I cant get it out of my head.
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Find someone to talk to, help you through this.

It's OK to grieve.
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Im finding it hard to grieve. im Numb.
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I am almost 30 years old and recently had a medical abortion as well.  I made the decision because I did not receive the reaction I expected from my boyfriend when i informed him that I was pregnant.  Not to mention I was living paycheck to paycheck.  I feel so guilty because I mean I have a good job and good benefits just not a lot of money.  I guess I just felt so alone and thought that my family would have disowned me.

I know that the above information doesn't help, but it just helped me to read that someone else is going through a similar situation.  I finally broke down and told my older brother and he told me everything I needed to hear (I'm not a scumbag, I am still loved).  He suggested to find a support group.  I recommend finding someone through the Alpha Pregnancy Center (they have support groups and counseling for woman who have experienced an abortion) if there are some in your area.  Or you could always search for one on the web.  Hang in there- the pain will subside.

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Hi Ambi, I am a 22 year old girl who had an abortion in March of 2012.  My boyfriend (now my ex unfortunately) had backed me up and fought with my parents, telling them that we wanted to get married and were ready to be together.  He was ready to start working for a union and get benefits for our baby.  Unfortunately, I have been on anti-depressants for years, and my parents kept lying to me about different medical conditions the baby will be born with because of my medications and because of other issues (which turned out to be lies as well).  They tricked me into having an abortion to save their own money and their reputation in my town.

 

I know it's hard to accept, I have breakdowns almost every night, just crying and holding the sonogram picture.  I feel just like you, see it as me killing my innocent baby.  I see myself as a mother who failed to protect her baby from the evils of the world, who was lucky enough to have a man by her side to raise the baby no matter what, but gave in to those who she thought she could trust.  I know it's hard love, it's the hardest thing to go through.  I will never get over it.  I never believed in abortion before this, and I still do not.  But you're not alone; I swear to you you are not.  I know it's hard Ambi, but there are people around you who are more than willing to help and hold your hand through this.  No one will truly understand; it is not as though you had a miscarriage and lost the baby on it's own, it was a forced thing and that is the hardest part to accept.  But you did no wrong.  You didn't fail.   If anything you have learned more about who you are and what you want in life.  

 

I will be here if you need.  I promise everything will be OK

 

Serena

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