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im 17.i had an abortion last week.

i got through it mechanically...in other words i knew i had to do it so i took it step at a time and didnt get overwhelmed. i kept fairly level. discussed it with my bf and we both knew it was the most practical decision.
but as soon as it was done i snapped. im angry at everything, i cry at everything, i cant sleep till the early hours of the morning.
im heart-broken that i had to do it, i feel so alone and i guess i just need someone who has had a similar experience to tell me it will be alright in time. i want things to be alright but am scared the wont be.

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You state you "had to do it." Did you?

I'm sorry that I can't tell you that everything will go back to normal. Although, you won't be irritable, angry, and "cry at everything" all your life.

But, you will always be reminded of what you did. It's very sad and many women do not realize what they are doing until after it's done. It's a hard thing to accept and forgive yourself for, I'm sure. I haven't been in your shoes myself but I'm sorry you are going through all of this.

Some suggestions are to pray *if you are spiritual, religious..* Talk to an adult you know well or someone you know has the knowledge to help you get through this. I know it's summer vacation now but maybe talk to your school counselor when you return next month for your senior year?

The key is to talk about it!!! Let it out! Do not bottle it in.
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I had an abortion 3 1/2 weeks ago. just as you had done my BF and i discussed it all before hand and I was very "strong" through the whole thing. I wish i could tell you i remained that way afterward. I have found myself crying quite a bit (and i am not someone who usually crys a lot), and being very sensitive to things especially with my BF. I dont feel any regret. My bf has been very supportive but it just seems like that is not enough. One thing that i have found helpful is just researching post-abortion websites and realizing that I am not in this alone and neither are you. I think that our hormones are WAY out of wack and that we just need to realize that when things seem so overwhelming we think we might have a mental breakdown. make sure to talk about EVERYTHING you are feeling with your bf even if you feel silly or embarrased. it helps more than anything at this point. you can always talk to me, im sure we are experiencing many of the same feelings at this point. I also think its important to deal with this all NOW and not 10 years down the road.. so dont bottle your emotions up and tuck them away, they will come back. just remember time heals, and give yourself a break.
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I had an abortion just over 3 months ago and I think about it everyday....I did not expect to still be teary and sad, its has effected me much more than what I had thought. Im finding moving on harder than I thought and even simple things at the moment take more courage than usual. Unfortunately the situation involving the pregnancy was very messy and at the time I felt I had no choice but now its the famous saying - if I had known now what I knew then...I do believe though that it takes time to accept what you have done. I think that time heals...Im hoping that in another 3 months i'll be stronger and things will be better. So all you ladies out there - your not alone.
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thankyou guys. im glad im not alone. although im sorry we are all in this circumstance.

i talked to my bf yesterday for hours and, like suggested, told him everything about how i feel and he did the same with me. it is easier not to feel and to leave it bottled up atm but in the long-run it wont be. im glad to let it out. he now knows how i feel about it. similar to you NA29 my bf is very supportive but it didnt feel enough. now we've shared what we are feeling, it seems a little easier. although more things seem to take more courage than usual.
i was thinking about going to see a counciler at some point.

its still hard, but keeping busy helps and you are right, hopefully, that time will heal.
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I had an abortion last year & i must admit im not over it at all.
I had just turn 18 and found out i was pregnant to my boyfriend of one year the time. Yes he was and still is very supportive about the situation to me but i feel its not enough.I just wish he could understand the emotional distress i had & am still going through.
No one knows about it but my boyfriend & i. ( and those reading )
At times i cry & cry for hours & shut myself off from the world, especially those around me.
I know im not helping on my bf accord as i do bring it up quite often.
I just cant seem to get over it.
At any time in my young age will i find away to overcome my personal hurt???
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I just wanted to let you know I found comfort in this particular post this evening. I had an abortion about three weeks ago and have found myself in a very strange place. I had gotten out of a really nasty two year relationship when I discovered I was pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy and have been dealing with the strange aftermath of it all. I've lost interest in really going out and accomplishing a lot and found that when I do go out it takes quite a bit out of me. I suppose small steps are the way to process all of it. I do tend to stay up to the early hours of the AM and then wake up quite early still but I figure with time it'll balance itself all out. Right now balancing the hormones is probably the worse part about it all. Thanks for your post ladies......I at least take comfort to know i'm not alone in this crazy time period.
~Unknown Lady
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I am 18 and i had an abortion four months ago.. I would be four months right now. It was a decision I made abd felt it was necessary because " I had a lot going for my future". My mom knew as well as my sisters but my dad has no clue because i am "his pride and joy". I did a lot of things and I hold myself responsible for many mistakes. I think about it everyday and I try to be fine about it, keep myself busy with school with friends and everything else. Through out the first month I cried so much and it was to the point the I felt like I hit rock bottom, I didnt want to exist. I wished I could just throw myself infront of a train. Then after and now, I just keep myself insanely busy to not let it get more of me. No doubt, I feel depressed and I still cry. I see girls with there tummies and I think why couldn't that be me. Everyone expects me to get over it and my mother is just waitng for me to screw up again. Even though it was "the best decision", I cry over my baby, I gave up the one thing I could of honestly could of loved with all my heart and it is my fault for letting everyone else influence me to the decision.. even though they did want the best for me and my mom as my mother wanted a bright future for me. I feel so empty, I act fine around my friendsI try to justify my decision find excuses for it but I am siply running out of them. I am scared to drink around my friends cos I know I will cry over it. This is eating me uo, and I know I cant change the past anymore. I always remember the last moments with it, I remember holding myself tight before the doctor came in and gave me the pill to stop it from developing it was the last time with my baby. It hurts too much and its an emotional roller coater for me.I am in college, I am trying to make myself someone but I feel it was a very selfish decision. My mom says u didnt even love the guy, u did it in a heat of the moment...but it was still my baby. I rather wirte my feelings here cos I must go on with my life like I am fine now. I cry at night like now, where no one can hear or see me. Sometimes I wish my mom could just hold on to me and I could just cry. I am in pain. People get mad at me cos they think I dont care but its just my way of handleling it so it wont get the best of me, cos If I did, I dont know what I will do.
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Dear Same17:
I had my abortion Jan 27, 2009. I am just only a few years older than you in college as well. My mom as well feels I should have passed this point by now. It's april and people don't understand. I've dropped a significant amount of weight from 182lbs to 149lbs. The depression doesn't get better over night but I can say that keeping busy is exactly what i've done. It helps but once you find yourself in a moment of quiteness it's when it hits. I can tell you this from my personal experience. Instead of having problems five times a week it'll lighten up to 4x a week and so on. I'm still finding myself with mood swings and I think about my child every day. I was in a two year relationship that ended horrible and had started a new relationship. I found myself in a new relationship, almost done with Grad school and 2 months along in my pregnancy. As of today I would have been five months along now. I don't know what to say to cheer you up but I can say you are not the only one going through your pain. Keep focused and perhaps find someone to speak with outside your network. Trust me i've contiplated this. I'm still at a loss at what I should be doing right now. But I can say I am very sympathetic with you during your time of struggle. Don't let others push you "to feel better" you'll find your own recovery path. It's just going to take time and remember to forgive yourself. I know I have yet to do that but I honestly know I did the best thing although I still do not feel that way. I hope my words made some sort of sense to you.

Regards,
Unknown Lady
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Hey

just to let you know that i had an abortion on 6th November 2008 and there aint a day goes by that i don't think about what i did. i know i done it for the right reasons n knew i couldnt have a baby just now. but it doesn't stop you hurting. there is no easy way to "forget", you just move on.
i have been keeping myself busy all the time, but, i do still have the odd day here and there where i am depressed and can't get out of bed and cry at the most stupidest of things, but it does get easier to deal with.
I still find myself lying in bed at night and i will get flashbacks of being in the hospital.
i had a lot of problems after my abrtion tho, where i bled constantly from 6th november till 25th february. so i couldnt move on from it as i had a constant reminder everyday.
but i hope one day you can forgive yourself and move on.
take care and best wishes to all. xxx
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Thanks for your post. Today was one of my bad days and I thought i'd come on here to find a little sanity. The good days have been getting better but honestly i'm to the point now I wonder. When will it get better? I'm still struggling.
~unknown Lady
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I had an abortion on the 8th of April, let me tell you that going through with it wasn't easy. But I knew that I couldn't raise a child alone, because I was alone. The only people who supported me was my parents, my father who I thought would hate me was the one who supported me the most. My sister and her husband won't talk to me and blame my parents for my decision, but they forget that I am an adult and can make decisions for myself. I have my bad days and good days, I'm depressed and I zone in and out all the time at work, I feel like I have no energy. My boss gets on my case constantly because I avoid her, because I know that she would be very against that I had an abortion. I think about what my child would've looked like, it would've been born shortly before my 29th birthday. One day I know that I will regret my decision, but I believe my punishment is that I have to live with what I did every day for the rest of my life. I've started to see a counselar because I can't talk to my sister about it, my mother just wants to pretend it didn't happen, I want to get better and be happy.
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I'm 18 and will be 19 in just two weeks. I had my first abortion today and feel like I'm a terrible person for allowing my mother to talk me and my boyfriend into having it done, even though everyone around us except for her was suppportive. I have Epilepsy but I have it under control and has been since I was 12, my mom scared me and my boyfriend because of what could happen to me or the baby if my sezisues come back but I still feel I made the wrong choice, I had over a month knowing I was pregnant and had already bonded with him/her. Even though I know what could have happend I still feel of all would have been worth it in the end. I'm not to sure if anyone can help me and my boyfriend get threw this because it was as rough on him as it was on me.
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If any of the ladies on here still check this, I'd like to hear from you. I just found out a few days ago that I am pregnant, I'm 26 and married and have a heart condition as well as anxiety issues. I know one day I want a baby but I don't think I'm ready yet and have my doubts whether I can carry out the pregnancy with my conditions and the stresses of not sleeping. (to give you an idea I am up ALL night throwing up and barely have a voice from it). So my question to everyone who has been through it is, what were the conditions on which you decided to have the abortion and how do you feel about it now?
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If any of the ladies on here still check this, I'd like to hear from you. I just found out a few days ago that I am pregnant, I'm 26 and married and have a heart condition as well as anxiety issues. I know one day I want a baby but I'm ready yet and have my doubts whether I can carry out the pregnancy with my conditions and the stresses of not sleeping. (to give you an idea I am up ALL night throwing up and barely have a voice from it). So my question to everyone who has been through it is, what were the conditions on which you decided to have the abortion and how do you feel about it now?
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