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Hi !
My name is Nance, My boyfriend is a alcoholic for many years now, we been together for 15 years. And I tried to helped him for years with his promblem but still won't stop. So we got to in to a fight over him and his drinking buddies. He told me if I didn't like it that he would leave , well I told him it was our family or his buddies and alcohol, well he left I haven't talk to him since and it's been three weeks now and yes he dose this to me every year. And I kinda worry wondering if I can trust him by being faithful while apart for awhile. It messes with me because I'm afraid to get h.i.v so I'm asking you if you can trust a drunk. I hope to hear from you !

Thank You


Can you trust an alcoholic about what? Being faithful? Stopping Drinking? Not having an STI?

I'm not an alcohol counselor at all here... just an average guy reacting:

You two drew a line in the sand and he agreed to move out. It would seem to me that all bets are off.
The fact that the two of you ("he does this to me every year") have a pattern of drinking, anger, blow up, separation, and rejoining is no guarentee that he OR you won't have contracted something IF you ever return together again.

I think you're involved in a bigger cycle than the two of you are willing to admit. And so I would recommend that you see a counselor about this... specifically that you do this dance every year. You have signaled to him that this is acceptable behavior and that you'll be waiting when he chooses to come back. If that's NOT the message you want to send, you need to clarify what you want and either get it with him, or without him.

Sounds like you have a lot more going on between you than you've shared here.

Good luck.