I'm ashamed of my erect penis

No sh*tstorm from me - I completely understand that it's something some people would rather not see. I think, though, that the perception of an erection as always sexual is in the eye of the beholder. I'd also argue that the parallel with hard nipples is valid because some people perceive that as sexual too - for example making the assumption that a woman is aroused because her nipples are erect. Most of us realize that that's not true - nipples can be erect for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with sex. Yes, I realize that it's not a direct comparison, and that a penis is viewed differently than nipples, but my point is that a woman's hard nipples can be perceived as sexual in the same way a hard penis can be perceived as sexual. Again, the perception is very much in the eye of the beholder, rightly or wrongly.

Having said all that, you're absolutely entitled to your feelings about obvious erections. It's sexual to you, and I understand that, and that's okay. For my part I don't want to offend people, you included, but at the same time my life doesn't stop because of my situation. I'm not intentionally imposing my erection on anyone, and believe me, I'd rather I wasn't erect. I'd rather people ignored it at the very least, and DIDN'T see it as sexual. Yes, I know some guys are eager to show off, and in that case it IS sexual - it's arousing to them - and honestly, I don't like that any more than you do. To me, that's very definitely "imposing" their erection on others, and it certainly doesn't make things any easier on me. What I find offensive about it, though, is their intent, not the erection itself.

Anyway, what I'd ask of you isn't that you change your feelings. What I WOULD ask is that you realize I have no control over the situation, and that I truly don't mean to be offensive. At the same time, I refuse to let my situation rule my life! I'll go where I want and do what I want, not out of any desire to be exhibitionist, but out of a desire to simply live a normal life. I'm not going to go and hide somewhere because some people may be offended. Finally, yes my situation is unusual, but erections aren't. Men get them all the time, not just in sexual situations. We generally don't have much control over that, any more than you have over your nipples. (The other place where the parallel applies - lack of control.) I respect your feelings, and I know you can't help being offended by a public erection. Again, I'd really just ask that you take intent into account before you judge. If I'm waving my erection around trying to get people to notice it, then you have every right to be offended, but if I'm not showing off, please don't expect me (or anyone else) to stay home and hide. If I happened to encounter you at a beach, or anywhere else, I'd just ask that you realize I'm not trying to be offensive - I just want to enjoy the place like everyone else.

Dear woodsman,
We will never agree and yet I respect your position and understand the difficulty of your situation and I feel you respect my feelings too. I have difficulties facing erections in non-sexual situations that's a fact. I was 16 when my brother started to have them on a frequent basis and would have liked to see the first erection on a man I'd have loved and whom I'd have aroused and not on my brother because he was developing. Maybe that's at the heart of my mixed feelings. Fact is for me there's the upper part and the lower part of the human body. I Don't mind about my nipples being visible through clothes and i Don't mind about men's either. But I do mind about the rest. Nevermind. It's people like me making your life difficult, I know. But it's no ill-will on our part. Sorry.

No apology necessary - you can't help how you feel about erections, and I get that. I think I'm very fortunate that my girlfriend loves it. Her feelings about it are far more important than anyone else's, and make it easier for me. Honestly, the most difficult thing about it for me is people's assumptions - like my mind must be constantly on sex, or I'm some sort of perv, or whatever. That's a far cry from your feelings, which I DO respect. I appreciate your honesty, actually - it gives me a different perspective. It's much too easy for me to assume what people are thinking, and that they're judging me without knowing the situation. You're not judging, just telling me your honest feelings, and I really don't see that as making my life difficult. Obviously I'd prefer it if no one felt that way, but I know some people do, and that's just life. Anyway, thanks for understanding that this is sometimes difficult for me, and that it's beyond my control.

Hi. I had some hardons as a teenager as anyone here but I never really gave a sh... and later I went to an art school and I was modeling there but I never had a problem. Sometimes my penis was slightly thicker than when completely soft but never did I have an erection. Then one day I took part in an opera production where at the end a whole group of people were to come from the back of the stage to the front naked. I was in the front row. I was half erect when we undressed before going on stage and that was already worrying me but it seemed to go away but when we were on stage I got again half erect and while we were marching to the front of the stage my erection got stronger and half way I was fully erect. The whole thing was to last for 10 minutes we were marching really slow. Nobody said anything and I got my money but I felt great shame. For a while I even stopped modeling. When I resumed I was very much afraid that it happened again and it did Indeed and I had to interrupt the session after a few minutes because I was already half erect. I never dared be naked in public again.

I would think an art class would like that.

oh no, they are very prude actually, a couple of times we had to change the subject because of the model having a hardon and once a model got one and didn't leave and the teacher had him leave immediately

Hmmm - not something I've experienced, either as a model or "artist". I don't know how an art class would react, but I really don't see why it would be a big deal. On stage, though - no thanks. I'd never have volunteered for a nude gig anyway though, and definitely wouldn't now. The nude beach is my limit, and only because my gf loves it - I'd never have gone there on my own. I'm not ashamed of my condition, it is what it is, but I'm not naturally inclined to show it off. That doesn't mean I think anyone who models (or whatever) is necessarily being a showoff, just that that's not me despite what people sometimes assume.

Thanks to you woodman and to some of the other guys (and girls) writing here. When they asked us to stay at home my friend and I decided to move in together, so I took my stuff and I went to her place. Now she's not shy and when she's around there's this feeling that it's normal to be naked. She stays naked in the morning until her shower and even after that she often remains topless. Up to now when we were just staying overnight at the other's place of course she noticed that I was hard in the morning but who isn't and also in the evening but since I undressed in order to have sex this seemed normal also. Now of course she sees me the whole day and asks me to stay with her in bed or not to run to the shower when I wake up. I did that in order to cover up for the rest of the day. And of course I'd like to stay in bed with her but I was ashamed to let her notice that I'm constantly more or less hard. So I started to look for comfort on the internet and here I am and after having read the messages I decided to go for it and she's amazed at my condition and loves it dearly I can say.

I think, based on answers here and on what I've experienced since my accident, that a lot of women like it when we're hard. I know there are plenty that don't, too, but I feel very fortunate that my girlfriend loves my condition. That absolutely makes it easier for me, and also made it easier to make the decision not to try to "correct" the situation. To be clear, she never tried to convince me one way or the other - it was always my decision - but I knew she liked me being hard all the time.

I'm glad it all worked out well for you and her! I'm glad you're comfortable with the situation, and I have to admit that every time I hear about other women who like men being erect, rather than being offended by it, it makes my life a little easier. Thanks for telling your story.

Hi, guys, it's nice to read all this positive stuff, but when you feel shame, you just feel shame. I'm 21 and I'm still hard all the time as if a teenager and I'm ashamed, not in front of my girl, she loves it, but in front of everbody else, friends, doctors, even my parents. I only hope it will end some day soon, but I know that I might be in for another 10 years! It kind of sucks. I write today because a friend offered us a voucher for a massage and my girl wants to go and I couldn't of course and she knows it and she says it's not a big thing but I know I take this away from her because of my stupid penis. So I feel a bit sad.

Dude, you should go for it and give a s... if you're gf is ok with it that everybody sees your penis when its hard and understands that you cant control it than its reelly ok. and at a massage anyway anybody gets a hardon I bet. I was with a girl who always said I was hard becaus I was turned on by the other woman and because I was exhibitionistic and so on and she wanted to be the only 1 to see my hard. That was weirde.

I agree, just go for it. Don't let your penis control your life. I totally get that you feel ashamed - I've been there - but you can change that if you want to. I know that's easier to say than to do, but seriously, we spend too much time worrying about what other people will think.

For me the trick is to just ignore it. Pretend you aren't even aware of being hard instead of worrying about it. Don't tell yourself you can't ignore it - you can! Okay, whoever gives you a massage is going to notice, but they've seen that before and really aren't going to care - which to me makes it the perfect situation to practice ignoring it. Stop feeling sad and surprise your girl! Absolutely do it for her, but do it for yourself too.

for what its Worth: I didnt have your problem when a teenager but our son did, we had to have him circumcised when 13 because his forskin was too tight and afterwards his glans was so sensitive that it he got easily aroused, this lasted for a few years until his skin was keratinised and had lost its sensitivity. In the meantime he had to face many laughters and was happy to meet understanding at home. I cant say there was a way for him to get used to his condition but he accepted it at home. At first he got only hard when dressed and having clothes rub against his glans so he he wore only a tshirt when at home but then he got hard also when naked. Doctors said his erections were only part of his development even if they were unusally frequent, but Im still convinced it was because his penis was so used to being hard. It ended when his glans had lost its sensitivitiy. He was 17 or 18 by then.

I never experienced erections from rubbing against clothes that I'm aware of - I was just hard most of the time no matter what. I think you may have a point that if the penis is used to being hard, it tends to stay that way, though. As to being used to it, I think if it had started when I was a teen I'd have had trouble getting used to it, but I'd always been that way so it was easier to accept. That's not to say I liked it, I hated the comments and the teasing, but that's what was uncomfortable for me, not the erection itself unless I was wearing something too tight.

With that said, I'm glad your son eventually lost the excess sensitivity and constant erections - it's definitely not something I'd wish on anyone. I'm also glad you were understanding about it, because without that, he'd have had a more difficult time.

Hi I started to have erections at age 12 and they became ever more frequent and then in the middle of 8. grade I started being hard all the time. Well of course not really all the time but those who've gone through this know what I mean, from hard to half soft to hard to soft to half hard etc. all day long, with only 2 or 3 episodes where I was really soft and with a lot more where I was rock hard, when waking up of course and after a short pause immediately after and often again by the end of the morning and again in the afternoon etc. Curiously my morning wood went often away quickly, I stayed half hard for some time but I could pee and dress only minutes after waking up before I was back to hard, but the longest crisis of the day was usually the one at the end of the morning, when I stayed hard for an hour at least, not always rock hard but still pretty much hard. The change from often hard to "all the time" hard happened in a couple of month, I remember that after Christmas Break I felt my penis was up more often and before Mid-Winter Break I couldn't get it down anymore and it was particularly spectactular because we had no sportsclass between December and February because they redid the rooms and also the swimming pool so in my classmates' eyes the change was very sudden. Everyone had seen me hard before but usually half way up, and fortunately when I was doing some exercise my penis was more on the soft side, but after February they saw me most of the times with a full erection and my penis had also grown anyway so the change was very noticeable and it wouldn't go down as easily as before during the exercise. Still a few months later I started to have spontanous ejaculations, which helped getting rid of the tenseness but which of course were also very difficult to deal with. Fortunately the happened most of the time in the evening after the tension had built itself up for the whole day, but sometimes they also ended the end of the morning erection. To make it short I was very much aware of all this and felt a lot of shame and today I'm still uneasy with my erections. I'm 26, and the all time hard days are over but I'm still very often hard and it's still impossible to hide it.