im worried that my mom will find out this way. is there really a test and should i just tell her before i embarass her. please help im so scared.
No, there is not a test to determine if someone has been having sex or not. Tearing of the hymen is often a result of vaginal penetration, but can be caused by other things, as well.
Any tearing, bruising, or other damage resulting from rough sex will be obvious. But, while this may suggest sex, it usually does not rule out rough masturbation or other causes (except for obvious finger marks). If your sexual adventures have not been so rough, there would be nothing of that sort for a doctor to see.
If there is semen inside of you, a doctor can see that, and take a sample for a DNA test. This can be dealt with by taking a bath and refraining from sex before any such exam.
Obviously, if you are pregnant, a doctor will notice it.
There are other issues to consider which are much more important than embarrassment. The potential for pregnancy and STD transmission means that you should always practice safe sex, including the religious use of condoms. If you have been having unprotected sex, then there is a small possibility that you could be pregnant or have an STD. It is good for both you and your partner to see a family planning or sexual health specialist and get tested just to be sure.
More importantly, your boyfriend may be committing a crime, depending on where you live. If then is the case, then there could be serious consequences for him, potentially including prison and a lifetime of registration as a sex offender. I strongly recommend checking the law in your area.
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If it is greater than 14 where you live, then you are putting your boyfriend in jeopardy by having sex with him.
The decision to tell your mother is really one that you must make for yourself. We obviously don't understand the nuances of your relationship with her. Communicating with someone whom your trust and respect is important and if you have a good and open relationship with her, then it may be best just to get things out in the open.
If you feel that can work things out with her, reasonably, then tell her.
On the other hand, if you don't believe that she would react well, then you have a problem. There is really no way that you can keep this a secret from her. She already suspects that it is happening and she obviously isn't an id**t. Any lies you may make to cover up the sex will simply become more and more complicated as time goes on and you will eventually trip up, if she even believes them in the first place. This would almost certainly make your relationship with her worse .
If you think that she would freak out and do something drastic, then you are between a rock and a hard place, because she already believes that you are having sex and lying to her probably won't make anything any better.
just tell her the truth please
Why would a 19 yo guy be having sex with you at 14, well it's kinda obvious, he's taking advantage of you. I'm not shocked but I wouldn't be letting him touch you and as the previous advise states you should be up front and honest with your mother. She is responsible for your upbringing and like it or not this guy raped you 4 weeks ago it's called statutory rape until you reach the age of consent for where you live and it doesn't matter if you didn't say NO! Is this something you wanted or he talked you into?