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It started about 3 week ago, i was just watching a movie on tv and i saw this guy getting oxygen from an oxygen tank, and then it hit me, the only thing that is keeping me alive is breathing,from that day ive thought that ive got to keep myself breathing or ill die.I'd play games because that would stop me thinking about it and it would go away for a few hours till it came to bedtime, then id lay there and its all i can think of.
But for the past week its getting worse,i feel like im not real and this is all a dream and soon ill wake up, im questioning everything and it makes me panic,why do we have to eat? why do we have to drink? why do we need sleep? what if i forget how to sleep?.
Feels like that film the Truman Show where his world was never real,it was all made around him and he found out his life was all fake, i feel like im going to wake up soon and that everything is just fake.
Its so tiring and my mind feels blank, the only emotion i have is sadness and all i do is cry,sleeping used to be an escape but now its a terror, just laying there for hours with my mind ticking over.

I just feel like, why are we doing all this,wasting our time, when at the end of the day we will die.
I feel like im going insane because my mind wont stop ticking over and over about everything,its all just a blur.

Is this depression?

Im thinking i need to go to the doctors but scared he will lock me away.


You definitely will need to see the doctor, that seems to be the only way to make all of this to stop. I’m quite sure they won’t lock you away – they can do that only with consent and when you become threat to yourself and everything around you. Neither of that seems to be true, so “locking away” isn’t really a possibility. It seems to me that it’s far more important that you find someone professional who can help you to get rid of this tiring weight, I’m sure it’s getting unbearable. This just isn’t something that will go away if you wait long enough, and in the end, why go through all of it when you probably don’t have to. It’s not like you are the first one who went through something like this. Hope you’ll find some help soon


Maybe not relevant to you, but perhaps someone else reading this:

Just accept it. Everything is apparently meaningless for you. Everyone is slowly dieing. these seem to be truths, so just accept them. Know that you could die in the next minute, it may or may not matter to you: thats your choice. Whenever you start to panic about something, just relax.For example, If you're going to die, then you are GOING to die, ya know? no point stressing about it. If you can't think of something to do immediately about your problems, don't worry about em. If you DO think of something to do, do it. what else have you got to lose? time?? I thought that was irrelevant to you.  

feeling like sh*t aint real? ENJOY IT! embrace it, don't fear it. ( some people take large amounts of illegal substances to achieve that feet :-) )

think we're all wasting our time? so what! what else are we going to do with it hmm??!!

and yes, please see a doctor. If a professional knows whats going on, THEY can be the one to stress about this sh*t for you, leaving your mind, free, to do whatever it pleases  :-)