But for the past week its getting worse,i feel like im not real and this is all a dream and soon ill wake up, im questioning everything and it makes me panic,why do we have to eat? why do we have to drink? why do we need sleep? what if i forget how to sleep?.
Feels like that film the Truman Show where his world was never real,it was all made around him and he found out his life was all fake, i feel like im going to wake up soon and that everything is just fake.
Its so tiring and my mind feels blank, the only emotion i have is sadness and all i do is cry,sleeping used to be an escape but now its a terror, just laying there for hours with my mind ticking over.
I just feel like, why are we doing all this,wasting our time, when at the end of the day we will die.
I feel like im going insane because my mind wont stop ticking over and over about everything,its all just a blur.
Is this depression?
Im thinking i need to go to the doctors but scared he will lock me away.
Maybe not relevant to you, but perhaps someone else reading this:
Just accept it. Everything is apparently meaningless for you. Everyone is slowly dieing. these seem to be truths, so just accept them. Know that you could die in the next minute, it may or may not matter to you: thats your choice. Whenever you start to panic about something, just relax.For example, If you're going to die, then you are GOING to die, ya know? no point stressing about it. If you can't think of something to do immediately about your problems, don't worry about em. If you DO think of something to do, do it. what else have you got to lose? time?? I thought that was irrelevant to you.
feeling like sh*t aint real? ENJOY IT! embrace it, don't fear it. ( some people take large amounts of illegal substances to achieve that feet :-) )
think we're all wasting our time? so what! what else are we going to do with it hmm??!!
and yes, please see a doctor. If a professional knows whats going on, THEY can be the one to stress about this sh*t for you, leaving your mind, free, to do whatever it pleases :-)