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when i found out i was pregnant, my first reaction was to laugh out of fear and excitment.
when i told my fwb (friend with benefits/ long story he can be around literally 24/7 excpet for when we work; wants an apartment; but doesnt want a relationship. silly i know) (unfortunatly i liked him at the time but now we are just in a comfortable no label zone) (except for the fwb part)off topic sorry.
he said he wanted an abortion then asked what i wanted, when i told him i didnt believe in that for me he started arguing on the matter. he is very stuborn on can be a pain if he doesnt agree with something or thinks someone is doing something in the wrong way.
we dropped it i gave in. several weeks later i had taken time and told him of my decision again. he stated the child would hate me and how could i do something so horrible to someone who can't even speak to defend themselves and that i wouldnt be able to pay for the child. he stated he would just be a check and our only connection would be financial, we would no longer speak or be friends.
unfortunatly he is the only person really in my life and that would leave a void.
on the other hand as weeks go on i see why i would not want to be with someone like that, even as a friend.
he is waiting on a check from his job (works under the table.) and his boss hasnt contacted him in a few days.
i told him at 8 weeks, i am now 12 almost 13.
i dont want to give it up and stupidly i let him think i do.
i go in for an ultrasound tomorrow to check on the baby/ hear a heartbeat.
i am terrified of not providing for my child, so what if he is right i wshould get the procedure and my past convictions are getting in the way.
but there is a reason i got pregnant....
i guess i need help on what to say to the father and what i should do. i am 18 almost 19 and i have noone to turn to except you lovely readers<333

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Well, first of all, it definitely does sound like his blackmailing you into getting an abortion, but, on the other hand - he does have a right to his opinion, no matter what it is. I mean, just saying something like "we won't be friends if you don't do it" is definitely low enough... So, yes, like you said - do you even want that person for a friend? I know, even though he is a father of your child and even though he does have a point (somewhat) about the money and everything, but things are not always perfect and it's not like all our parents had everything set up when they had us. And there is always adoption. But, you need unbiased opinion and honest talk, face to face, about all this - isn't there anyone else except him? Your family?
But, more importantly you are 12/13 weeks now, so getting an abortion is becoming less and less of an option - you are in the second trimester and abortions are mostly performed during first trimester.
Do you work? Can you support yourself?
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Hi foxybrett,
I want to let you know that you are not alone. I was in the same situation 4 weeks ago. The man I am with is also a no-labeler... Our situations sound quite similar. My story is that I am 42 and he is 33. When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I came off the table laughing with excitement. When I told my "man" the first thing he said was "what are you going to do about it?" So, my excitement went right to freaking out. Long story short, I had an abortion at 7 weeks. Now, almost 4 weeks after the abortion, I am, so deeply, regretting it. You are right when you say, "but there is a reason i got pregnant...." You are young. So, yes I understand your fears. But as for the child, your fwb does not really have the ability to speak for the child, neither do you. Unfortunately the child does not have a voice right now. So listen to your heart. Do what is in your spirit and you will not go wrong.
Nikols is correct about adoption. foxybrett, this is a viable option and adoption is much more fitted to the modern woman than it used to be. Of course, if you choose to parent then the child will need to know how deeply you love him/her. You CAN raise a child on your own if you have the will to continually better yourself. Stay in school or get in school. (i could write a chapter on this from my own life)...
You sound like a very strong woman with very strong morals. Listen to your inner-self and you will be alright. The choice is 100% yours, financial or not financial.
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foxybrett

I am wondering what you decided to do if you have decided yet. I noticed there are a few young ladies on here who are in a rough place facing an unplanned pregnancy. If you would please consider adoption rather than abortion you could make a world of a difference in the life of your child and in that of a family like ours. Rather than having an abortion and facing the severe regret and depression many women do, consider a selfless option. Consider that tiny little baby growing inside your belly. Consider a family like ours. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant and have a child for over 8 years now. After falling in love with a 4 year old girl last summer and nearly adopting her because she was in an unfit home we have decided to adopt. We know after that experience that we can love any child unconditionally, not only our own. We have completed the requirements to get certified and looking for a child to welcome into our family. We are so excited to have a child to share our love with, play with, cherish, nurture, and raise. If you would like to know more about us please visit our website wwww.DnLadoption.com where you can read our story! Or feel free to email us _[removed]_

I wish you the very best and hope that you are able to make a decision you will be happy about not just now but for the rest of your life.
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