Okay so I am 20 and have been married for a year now (he'll be 22 this year) and really want a baby. I am in my junior year of college and he has already graduated and has a great job. I work in elementry schools so I have a pretty decent job as well. We are salary workers and have vacation time and all that good stuff of having "real jobs". I love children, but never really wanted one of my own until recently. I see so many neglected children, and even some great and perfectly raised kids, and I just want to be a mom so very badly. He wants to have kids as well and says he is just scared.He also likes to spend money on "fancy" things and really wants to buy a house before we have kids. I don't see what the big deal is with having a house first, I was raised in an apt and he moved all over with his military family so it's not all that bad, and we can get a hosue in a few years. We are both very smart and have actually worked out how much it would cost to have a child and done a ton of research(thats how I know he wants one). I am seriously considering just stopping my birth control and becoming pregnant as a surprise. I don't want to betray his trust but I know he is mostly just too afraid to actually make the decision because children are the biggest responsibility. I know it will be very difficult but I also know we are "go-getters" and really know how to apply ourselves, also we work really well together.
I'd love any repsonse... I'm just kind of lost in baby land right now...
Thanks
I'd love any repsonse... I'm just kind of lost in baby land right now...
Thanks
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Dear hopes,
Please don't pull the "surprise" thing on him. He may feel "tricked" and it could hurt your relationship. It is a decision for both of you, not just you, to make. When he's ready he'll let you know.
I can understand where he is coming from. Getting a house, an investment in your future, is a great idea if it is possible. It is not like living in an apartment, I've done both.
You see kids every day, yes you want one, and you will be great parents but give it time. You're young, both of you. You could wait until you are done with school in a year or so then reconsider this. Finish your education first if you can.
You don't need to rush, you've got time.
Hope it helps.
Please don't pull the "surprise" thing on him. He may feel "tricked" and it could hurt your relationship. It is a decision for both of you, not just you, to make. When he's ready he'll let you know.
I can understand where he is coming from. Getting a house, an investment in your future, is a great idea if it is possible. It is not like living in an apartment, I've done both.
You see kids every day, yes you want one, and you will be great parents but give it time. You're young, both of you. You could wait until you are done with school in a year or so then reconsider this. Finish your education first if you can.
You don't need to rush, you've got time.
Hope it helps.
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