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I am 54 and my wife thinks that masturbation is cheating on her. In the 80's she was emotionally/sexually abused and raped by teachers in lessons and while extremely drunk. She has a history of this type of abuse since 14. Now she tells my son that I was apervert and says it is wrong. She is screwing his mind. He is 15 and never dine it. I started much earlier in a natural way.

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I am not sure what to tell you about your wife's issues with sexual abuse, other than she should see a psychologist, it seems to me that there are things that she needs to work through within herself. I do know, however, that it is not good for her to be talking to your son negatively about masturbation, especially at 15 when boys are beginning to become introduced to sexuality. There is nothing wrong with masturbation unless it begins to effect your sex life. If you are masturbating instead of having sex with your wife, then, I believe, you are cheating. When a woman deals with a sexual trauma, they will develop misconstrued ideas of sex, and sexual activities. You said that you are 54, so you grew up at a time where masturbation was less accepted as it is now. We used to teach teenagers, in attempt to discourage sexual activity, that masturbation was a dirty dead, only performed by sinners and sexual predators. Your wife is probably is having a hard time overcoming what she was taught. If she was sexually abused, and associates masturbation with sexual predators, then if you masturbate-you are a sexual predator (aka pervert).
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%-) what do you do as realationships are not hard enough, A question comes into play, "am I the one who is wrong?"-I can +ly say im a bit selfcentered-Only Child-syndrome... i guess! I feel its a work in progress (rite or wrong) selfdefects-always trying to better and improve or as well understand why i do what I do?

With this being said....I relate to your troubles ,my wife same thing kinda-the exception of dragging a child in developmental stage in life--it scews with your head-everyones opinion-especially a mother/father,be the adult a place and time for everything- at least you would hope so if time allows it all lifes fustraitons....... I am thinking i have a oproblem with pleasuring myself-to porn, im cheating-"rite" i enjoy it ,,climax....no one to please...jus me-Im always sexually hungry but faithful as i love my wife, rather jerkit than screwit all up. Yesterday had sex, the next i get caught ... you know' :$ now i hve issues- I would agree, but as i try to understand temptation - addicted ; hormones, oh i wish it would stop--male instinct is it ? I dont know, It really sucks to know how you feel-to be afraid to say whats on my mind-when the judgement comes; im bottled up-As I cant tlk - my feelings -im truly happy as long as shes happy - my lie to myself; bugs to be worked out.......venting..... i have biological son, step son and daughter....I grew up without my father; never met him-wrote him-never heard back...im over all that but i dont want to hve the kids know that loss, someone to guide u frm mistakes-yet live and learn. I wonder that my development as a child- the passing from mother to son as fatherless -issues-......so much easier to ignore? then pass it on to your young...fear ... exists... I question if I hve what it takes to be the father I never new-had- morals- a guide to lifes unkown troubles that i hve seen some fall into a bottle drunk, bigger troubles in the world to be sorry for onesself...fustrated- unprepaired- learning- be the example...So any thoughts? feel free to say .....we all need counciling for most smile for the momments remembered-held close-those times and future momments we all can smile as it isnt always so, remeber the good in all as the negatives are reminders of what you should but coulda woulda to late...dont dwell....move forward, today can be great.....its on all of us-adults/ kids- we can still remember the kid we wish we could be again :$ %-) :-| ;-)
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