Painful intercourse after birth

To anyone having this problem:  Try having sex in the shower at first.  My husband and I found that the warm water acted as a natural lubrication and it seemed to help relax me so that I wasn't so tense, therefore making the pain worse, as some of you had mentioned.  Also, being able to rest my feet on the side of the tub for support seemed to take a lot of the pressure that was causing pain off.  Our first baby is 2 months old and sex after having him has been extremely painful for me up until we tried this method.  

It's almost been a year since I gave birth to my son, and sex is still painful. We can only manage one position, and even that hurts. I have anxiety over going to bed, and my husband makes me feel bad all the time. We've tried lube, different positions, foreplay, etc., etc.  At this point we're no longer having sex at all. Unlike other women, I don't have sex with him because I feel bad for him, I don't have sex with him because 'he deserves pleasure,' and I don't have sex because it's my 'duty' as a wife.

Hi my baby just turned 4 months today. I am going through the same pain and dread of the thought of having a penis or anything inside my vagina. I used to be extremely active and now I am mad and angry at my Dr. First of all because she acts like I'm making things up or exaggerating, but the sad truth is that it friggin hurts even to kneel or squat. I also resent my husband because he wants me to give him oral sex and doesn't attempt to please me. (That really bums me out) For u men out there, if u pressure ur woman to have sex, u better be giving her something in return because u have no idea what we have to go through. It's low self esteem, rejection, hopelessness, depression and on top of that ur constant nagging about sex. Please understand that its not that we don't want to have sex, we're dying to, but its too painful. I literally cry at night because my life has drastically changed. I love my baby and my husband but this is seriously tearing us apart. Women out there, love and take care of ur health and body and men, please be patient, comforting and understanding. Good luck everyone and don't give up on each other.

Hey- she may have formed some granulation tissue, which is tender to touch. It is a small in-office gynecological procedure to have it removed and then a week of recovery. It might be worth it to have it checked out.

Hi Everyone,

My lil girl is now 19Months old and it is still sore. My hubby tears me every time if we do something wrong (if they cut her at birth she will always tear on the cut again). We started 8 weeks after birth the first few times after birth was extremely painful. I made sure we had sex 3times a week, it gets better after a few months then it’s only the first few min of sex that is sore. It’s like a virgin breaking experience just more painful but if you are not going to have sex it’s not going to get better.

 

I had this same problem. Vaginal birth, but ended up with a trainee nurse that urged me to push to fast and ended up getting 10 stitches. Sex after was painful and didn't happen at first. It felt really tight and impossible. I would dread trying again. We purchased lube like others suggested. Then one night we decided to take things very slow. It felt relaxing to not feel pressure to be able to preform and I believe it helped. Number one thing is to be super turned on. My man played with himself against my vagina and to my delight things opened up
And I was able to go!

I can definatley relate. My wife and I are to the point where we don't know what to do. Our son turned 13 months today and it feels like im using a knife. It doesn't last long because I do'nt want to hurt her. We may schedule an appointment with the Doc and ask him what the hell is going on.

my son is 2 1/2 years and sex is still painful, if he goes in too far it feels like hes punching internal organs, its awful :( in all honesty i have the same attiutude as the guest above, he makes me feel bad for not doing it all the time but if he were in pain he wouldnt want to either, i wouldnt pressure him into doin anything, i dread goin to bed at night time as i know he will try something, most of the times i end up giving in and just laying there thinking 'hurry up' i dont enjoy it at all anymore, ive been to a dr, ive had internals and scans etc and they think hes just poking my cervix, we tried differant positions but only a few dont hurt, he then gets bored of the same thing and wants to do others which result in me bein in pain again, dont think our bodies ever fully recover from childbirth, my son tore me to shreds inside and out, i had 36 internal stitches and 10 outside, the midwife struggled to sew me up properly as there was so much blood she couldnt see properly and did as best she could, needless to say the scars get sore too if we go too long, im never gonna win this tho, sometimes think its easier to shut up and just do it :(

I'm in a bad way with my wife. It is almost 8 years now and we had a bad fight. In the middle of it she tells me she hates sex. Well I'm thinking jeeeeezzz I'm real bad at this then. How in the world would you want to have sex but not like it at all. After some heated topics she tells me after our son was born it hurts to have sex. ALMOST EIGHT YEARS!! she tells me this. I'm lost for words and in this forums I see no answers. Bummer.

I am almost 12 weeks pp, and it still hurts to have sex with my husband. The last time we tried, I started crying from the pain, but stuck it out for him to finish...cause I know he's dying from not getting any. Romantic huh? I had some tearing, and we waited 6 weeks to make sure it was all healed...still hurts though.

Has your situation improved? I wish you all the best.
In my case I'm 4 and a half months postpartum and in the beginning I was happy because the pain was bea0rable, /i didn't enjoy sex, it hurt but not enough to make me scream, but it's been over 2 months and the pain is exactly the same as it was, feels like I suddenly had stitch pain in there, top of my vaginal wall. There's no way I can enjoy sex, not even mentioning the hemmoroids I got during delivery, my butt hurts 2 days after going to the bathroom.... I remember the stitch pain well but I tore on the sides nothing major. Perhaps stitches aren't the best idea. I want another child, did anyone declined stitches? What's the risks?

still, if you cried, how could he finish, that's insensitive, mine stops at any sign of my discomfort, thank God. I hope we'll all heal soon enough because I cant wait to enjoy sex again.

Hi  there,

 

 We prob had sex like twice during week 7 after our daughters birth and I got bad cramps after. I have been on a long holiday away from my husband. So Shes 3 and a half months old now. So as you can imagine after a 6week holiday there was alot of built up sexual tension. haha. we had sex 3 times during the night. Was feeling ok but after this morning having sex it was really tight and hurt. Then this morning I had light spotting. Normal???

 

Thanks

I gave birth almost 5 months ago to my first child. My husband and I have tried to have sex 4x. Upon penetration I can feel a burning sensation despite the fact that we use a lubricant. With anticipation of the pain, I also now find myself tensing up exacerbating the pain even more. This is so depressing especially since I feel like I have to force myself to have sex in the first place with this diminished sex drive ( I am breastfeeding). The dr said all healed well. Any advice???

Ladies and gents: The culprit to this problem lies with estrogen -- especially if mom is breastfeeding. Estrogen drops after delivery so that the body can produce milk. This thins out the walls of the vagina, so even if you had a perfectly normal delivery -- even a c-section -- intercourse can be quite painful. My OB said the lining can actually tear. She prescribed me a topical estrogen cream to help with the intense pain down under. She also said once LO starts eating more solids and you regain your period that normalcy comes back. It's unfortunate that this information isn't more widely available. Certainly no book or physician covered this while I was pregnant or during post-partum checks. Fellas, good for you for being patient with your ladies and supporting them through childbirth and breastfeeding. These babies are a joy, but some of these after-effects are really tough on us.