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Hi,

I fell pregnant earlier this year (Jaunary 19th) and had a miscarriage on March 22nd. It was pretty grim and my boyfriend and I talked with the doctor about contraception, but having been on hormonal contraception for many years when i was younger i was reluctant to return to that method. So we mostly used condoms, and we were quite careful but maybe not totally safe. I had a really light period April 21 - 26, and then one June 2 - 5, I've never been really really regular but before the pregnancy I had started to get more regular periods. Of course the pregnancy messed with that, so I'm thinking now I could just be waiting for a period that is kind of late. I've felt PMT for the past 10 days or so, which is pretty normal for me (yuck!) with tender breasts, bad skin etc, and I just am not sure what to think. I dont know if I'm being a bit paranoid or just impatient to know whether it's just my period or not.
Any thoughts would be great, other stories like this?
I've heard that women are often far more likely to conceive again after having had a miscarriage. We had been having unprotected sex since May 2008, and had never got pregnant. My boyfriend thought his sperm wasn't great, but then I got pregnant and had the miscarriage. I don't really know if i want to be pregnant, which is why it's so confusing, I just wanted to hear some input on the topic.
Thanks ever so much

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Dear Chinagirl: 1st of all so sorry for your loss!!! Since you "mostly" use condoms you would have gotten pregnant on the other days! So since you are still in that pattern of "mostly" ;-) Then the odds of you being pregnant are VERY high! Due to the fact that after a birth, miscarriage, etopic etc. your hormones are still high. So I would want you to take a pregnancy test, and lets see 1st. IF it's negative, it is probably stress and possibly you still being upset from your heartbreak! Do you think that the main reason why you don't know about being pregnant is because of the loss you went through? Take a test and let me know OK? Good luck and health hon!
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Hi bambi27

Just to let you know, things are a bit weird at the moment. I guess I'm a moody b***h and my boyfriend and I had a huge row and I said it was over, as I feel genuinely confused about this relationship. So anyway this evening I was kind of pissed off and went a bought a test, as i wanted to confirm that I wasn't pregnant, cos I really didnt feel like i was. So i'm sitting there waiting for the 3 mins, ignoring it and convincing myself i'm not pregnant.
I check it, and it's one of those fancy new ones that tells you how far along you are, and i'm over 3 weeks pregnant.
sh*t.
i'm waiting for my boyfriend to come home right now (after our big row) and looking at the test and thinking sh*t sh*t sh*t, sh*t
I dont know, thanks for your really sweet supportive words. I know that if I don't have another miscarriage I'll keep the baby, that whole thing messed with my head before, i'm just terrified now, cos of my relationship being a mess and i'm living away from all my friends and family.
I feel horribly alone and its pretty scary
Thanks anyway, I'll let you know what happens I guess
Take care
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Oh definitely hon! You have to put things into perspective and think "OK am I being a moody b, BECAUSE of everything I've gone through and really worrying if I'm pregnant?" OR "Did I want this relationship to be over anyway that's why I didn't know if I was too thrilled about being pregnant?" 2 ways of looking at it isn't there? Before he comes back, take a moment to yourself and write down ALL the pros and cons of this relationship - don't even think about the pregnancy part right now (I know as if!!!) - but this is just purely about your relationship as it stood before all the confusion and hormones. In the light of day so to speak.

Take a look at the list and see if the pros outway the cons, and IF this relationship is worth saving! NEVER "save" the relationship if it is only for the baby's sake!!! I know it's daunting at the thought of being alone, but millions of women do it. So think of what is 1st in the best interest of yourself - because for the next 36 weeks it will be just you dealing with everything - and WHEN it is in your best interest it is just a no brainer that it will be in the best interest of the babies too!!!

Also IF he has EVER in anyway shape or form been violent to you - this is a NO go!!! Because I will tell you even if he promised up and down to "NEVER do it again" it WILL happen due to the stresses of having a baby. So anytime you need to talk or just vent I'm usually on here OK? ! And by the way CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! :-D
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