Last week my husband and I received the news that I am pregnant. I went to Family Planning to renew my birth control pills and instead walked out with a positive pregnancy test.
We are a blended family, with my husband's three teenage children (one of whom lives with us), my 11 year old and 9 year old, and a new baby between us who just turned one. Neither my husband nor I are from Australia and we don't have any other family members near by. Without the option of grandparents or aunts/uncles, we are very worried about keeping this baby. Besides the "selfish" concerns (tiredness, not being able to have "couple" time, etc), we are very concerned about how it will impact the rest of the children. There will be less time for them to spend with us, I don't know when I can help them with homework, talk with them, read to them... Knowing how exhausting it is to have a small baby, let alone two little ones under two, I don't want the bigger ones to be left to their own devices, just because mum and dad are too tired to help them.
On top of that, there's the financial considerations... By no means we are rich people. We make do, and all of our children have their needs met. We strongly believe that a small child should be with their mum/dad at least until they get out of the super-clingy time of babyhood. My husband looks after our one year old pretty much full time while I go to work. Having another baby would add quite a bit of financial stress on us, and we certainly don't want the older kids (especially the teenagers!) to be resenting the baby because we now can't afford to provide any financial assistance for them. While we would never pave their roads with gold, even if we had the resources, it sure makes them feel loved and appreciated to be given $20 or $50 here and there for clothes and what not. It just doesn't seem fair on the rest of the family that they should be in the financial hardship because of the baby! Next year two of the girls will be uni students, and it's critical for us to be able to support them enough not to drop out. Student allowance is simply unrealistic for them to live on!
My husband and I are very heartbroken about the fact that we even have to consider a termination. We are under no illusion about what that means and we are very aware that this is our baby we are talking about, not some "thing". We have done what we could to prevent this pregnancy - I have been on birth control after the birth of our last baby; unfortunately God and nature had a different plan for us. This is not an easy decision for us.
What we need is support of another family as well as financial assistance. We need a set of adopted grandparents or an aunt/uncle to help us with babysitting, taking care of the older children and moral support. We need to make it OK for the older kids too by providing for them financially. They don't need much, but we can't see how we would be able to support them in a way that they feel loved and cared for.
I hope to hear from you soon. We don't have very much time to decide and as things are right now, we don't see an option but to terminate.
Thank you for the love, support and hope you provide for your children and other families.