I am a 33 yo father of 6 and a veteran. Was inured in the service and after i got out and went to work in the regular world. 10 years ago i was robbed and beaten by 4 men while delivering pizza for Papa johns in Spartanburg S.C. and received a lot of injuries. Worst of them was multiple injuries to my cervical and lumbar spine. I had to have a partial discectomy at L4-L5 in Dec 2002 for a ruptured disc and then got a MRSA infection that required an immediate surgery 2 weeks later. I was left with chronic pain ever since that can be debilitaing. then 2 weeks ago i had to have a cervical fusion from C3-C6. the problem is that i know and have known for awhile im addicted. i hate this but i dont know what to do about it. i want off all the meds but i know how bad the pain can be without them. it seems like a constant fight with the doctors when the pain meds stop helping or need to be increased. WHAT DO I DO? i feel so ashamed for being a addict. prior to the injuries, i never had to take pain meds for anything. am i wrong for being ashamed? do i even need to start the process of getting help with detox if the possibility is that i will need to take it again later? someone please help me. i am really starting to hate myself for this.