m filled with rage and revenge inside me !
i dont knw how to control myself - i loved him deeply and gave my everything !
m a university lecturer !
i was a virgin before i met him but now he even questions my virginity and filled me with innumerable allegations..... he abdandoned me eventually - he told me tht he is back to his old days when he used to sleep wth various women.
i thought i cud change him , with profuse love ! we were in an open relation for about 2 yrs.
i failed and now i c i was rather used and to him m no better than the many whores he slept wth !
now i can totally c how things happened - he used to call himself a God fearing man , show himself how pious and rectified he is , gained my trust , drolled on me , waited for my replies every now and then and would get angry if i was late............ thus he gradually captured my mind and gradually my body !
i cant take it anymore ! i cant accept the failure !
i kill him everyday in my mind but i cant so eventually i decided to comit suicide going to his house infront of him.... let the world knw what devil he is in holy shape ! i just cant let go ! i cry almost everyday !
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME (ESPECIALLY YOUR LIFE) TRYING TO GET REVENGE ON HIM. move on with your life bc he wasnt the man in the plan.its funny how we women give our all to keep someone who doesnt want to be kept and never give our all so we can heal and move on.I UNDERSTAND AND I SYMPATHIZE.however, consider yourself lucky bc you did dodge a bullet.that man is as corrupt in his heart and he has no morals or compassion for any woman.sooner than later he will wake up with karma on his back and she will avenge you AND THE OTHER WOMEN for all he has used you for.BE VERY THANKFUL YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT BY HIM!can you imagine to share a lifetime with him as yoru childs father and know teh type of man he is?SCARY TO THNK ABOUT AINT IT?
Thank u all for ur replies ...... i appreciate ur concern.
M trying to divert my thoughts away but there r times whn i just cant take it anymore !
i wish i had sex with many in tht case he ud nt have appeared so special to me ! i recall our every love making moments - so heavenly !!! and i simply cant stand the reality that he is giving me now ! Infact i think i can never make love to anyone anymore ! I ll keep on getting flashbacks !
i had always loved myself and was never this disturbed inside - Now often at tyms i grow fond of destroying myself !
i was a care free girl , used to love singing , art and culture , used to go out wth friends , look for potential suitor !And now wht has he made of me - dejected , desolate , devastated and destructive !!!
He totally F**ked my Heart !