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hi, i am asian-indian, and i got married in july 2007 love marriage which was hard as india has arranged marraige system, we were in love, i was raised in canada and him in india. we fought against all our family to get married, i sponsered himand the abuse has begun, i love him dearly and i dont want my marrige to fail as i know it will cause a great deal of embarrassment for me in my family as i didnt listen to them, its been only a year since he is here. he hits me often when we get in fights and i get even too. But this time its has gone way too far and i need help i need advise!!! This is how it happened: on last saturday i woke up and he was hungry so i made him hot breakfast, i had woke up with a lil headache, it got worse in the day at about 4 there was real big snow blizzard outside and was cold, he felt like drinking so i said ok you can go buy a rum for yourself. As i had bad headache i went to take a nap, he came to my room after shower at like 6 and asked if i was goin to cook dinner as he didnt eat after breakfast, i said i has a headache. so he said that he will go out and eat and bring drink, at that time it was real ugly out so i said i will cook and he didnt have to go out, i went to kitchen and started preparing meal and he comes and tells me that he will go out to get me medicine and alcohol too, i got mad at him that he just wanted to go for alcohol and medicine was an excuse, he still went out and brought it home. by this time i was real sick. he asked me to take medicine and i didnt take it as i felt like he used it as an excuse to go out for his alcohol. he had drinks at dinner, i didnt say anything. at about 10 after dinner we were watching TV and i asked if he would massage my back at it was hurting, he refused. and called me selfish for spoiling his day as i got in argument over drinks. so i went in my bedroom upset about him not taking care of me when i was sick. i tried to sleep but couldnt and came out after 15 mins to get my laptop. i went back and he came in, i was lookin at new designs of condos and houses and he asked me what i was doing, suddenly he started accusing me that i was planning to move out with someone, and was cheating on him!!!!!!! i got upset and asked him to get out of room, he hit m hard across my abdomin and i cried in pain. I then called my mother who asked to speak to him, he took my cell and smashed it onto floor and it shattered. the then hit me across my face and it hit right on my ear and i collapsed down. I took cab to my mum's place and am here since saturday. i have pain in my ear and think something is wrong with it. i tried talkin to him but dosent seem like it affects him that i am not with him since last 4 days, i miss him so much i cry myself to sleep everynight! i just want him to realize that we got married for love against everyon's wishes and i dont want our marraige to go in vain. pleas help me what should i do to make hi realize that what he did is wrong, i know its wrong and there is no excuse for hitting someone but he is new to this country and back home its everyday life for most families, i feel like its a culture clash for him and on other thought i think if he is well educated guy then why is he doing this?

Can someone help me out???? all advice will be greatfully appriciated!!

Thanks!!

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my suggestion would be to make an appointment with a couples counselor, contact your husband over the phone and tell me if he would like to stay married to you to meet him at the place of the appointment at the time.

then go to the appointment, make sure there are other people there [even the secretary] so that he cant do anything to do

if he doesn't show up, then, i guess he's not gonna change...

good luck.
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He agreed! i am going to get an appointment, but he agreed saying that i need help??? that hurt me
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leave your husband and stay happy SINGLE
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Thankyou! all for your advise... today after 3 yrs I am rid of that fool and happily "newly" married again to a wonderful man who appriciates me,
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I'm no professional doctor but I say get out when you can. I say no woman should be abused either way.. There are other fish in the sea.

dejolane
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