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Ok so my ex-boyfreind (and first boyfreind) was a player. He moved to my old school my best freind (boy) introduced me to him. I liked him and he liked me. At the time I didnt know he had gone out with 17 girls over the past 3mths. On the first day we played dare contest and we were dared to french kiss. We did for 3 secs and the 3 days after i was sick,he was the same. The week after i was dying to french kiss him and after i did i felt great and amazing and exhilerating and just wow! We went out for 2 weeks after that (i broke up with him because i was losing freinds). And then i found out he was cheating on me with 3 girls. My sister's bestie, my (male) best freind's pal and my (female) best freind's cousin!and by then all my freinds had turned on il miss him more then anything and its only been 4 days.does anyone know why??? Im an 11 year old female going through my puberty. I havent got a period since my first kiss (yes, i got monthly periods) and im also worried about pregnancy. Can you get pregnant from french kissing because idk because i havent got the sex talk yet. I would love it to bits if you culd answer these questions Xoxo Kerri


Hi Kerri

Firstly let's get this out the way you are not pregnant.  French kissing does not cause pregnancy and I'm really surprised at 11 there has been no sex education at your school yet,  is this something you could talk about with your mun, older sister or a teacher even get a book or some information online about periods, puberty and all that stuff, the more you can learn the less you will worry and the safer you will be, knowing what you can and can't do without risk.

I realize a lot of people are probably going to advise you at 11 you shouldn't be thinking about boy's it is also my opinion at this age they are more trouble than they are worth as boy's are less mature than girls so most wont give much thought to how you are feeling about things, which explains why this boy is happy to be seeing four girls at the one time without a care for how this will hurt you or any of them.  Also as you are now feeling the upset this could be avoided in the future if you try your best not to get involved with boy's on a boyfriend/girlfriend level for a little bit longer.

That being said I understand you can't help the feelings you have, now you have started puberty you have hormones running about in your system that are hard enough for some adults to manage,and can be very overwhelming and confusing for a young person like yourself.  So let's move on to this little squirt who thinks it's ok to behave like Casanova and have a string of girls...

This is your first experience with a boy, other than as a friend as I mentioned above you have all sorts of hormones flying about and having got close to him in a short space of time and things became physical with the kissing the only adds to the levels of hormones you have making it crazy confusing and extra intense.  Your first kiss, for most people is nice and something you want to repeat, you start to see that person in a different way even if there was a strong attraction there before after kissing this is magnified. It's therefore understandable you wanted to repeat this and had strong feelings for the boy.

You said you broke up with him because you were loosing friends.  It is very important when you do find that someone special later on in your life, although you may want to spend all your time with them you must remember your friends.  No matter how good we can think a relationship is sometimes they just dont work out, and your friends are what you need for support when this happens, so don't forget to make time for them too when boys do come along, your friends will always be there boys come and go.  It turned out to be a good thing you did this as you then found out about the other 3 girls, what a rat!  Your going to feel hurt and at the same time miss him this is natural in a few weeks you wont give him a second thought.  I can assure you no matter how much you are thinking about him, how much you like him it's not love.  I do believe younger people such as yourself can fall in ove, so I am not being an adult looking down at you saying this is impossible for someone your age.  The reason I have said your not in love is because of the short time you knew him, first kiss, hormones these feelings are lust and infatuation.  They are very much the same as the way our brain behaves when we are in love so easily confused but trust me it will pass.

If I were you I'd spend some time with your friends now, go hang out do whatever you usually do with them and forget this numpty, someone much much better will come along in the future and treat you the way you should be treated with respect and honesty.  As you  get older you will be able to see through their (boy's) nonsense and filter out the dummy's or at least most of them This is another reason I think it may be best to try and keep them as friends for a while longer, also sometimes when you have boyfriends life at school can change.  The people you thought were your friends can become nasty you may get called names because you are seeing boy's this is or should be less likely to happen as you all get older too.  Just enjoy your time with your friends, get on with your studies and try to research puberty and other things as I mentioned at the start of my post.


I hope this helps you<3