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My 11yo son has been masturbating a lot lately (2-3 times a day).  I think he might be just starting puberty, no pubic hair, still very boy sized body and small genitals especially scotum and testicles).  But have noticed little stains in his underwear and bed sheets.  Also found out that he has been having sex play with other boys at sleepovers.  Is this normal for a boy and is it normal for boys to be intimate with other boys his age and a little older?

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Hi Singlemother

It normal that your son has started masturbating most boys discover the enjoyment of it and often do it.
A lot of boys also experiment with their friends as long as it is mutual with boys his age or very close to his age and it is boys being boys and curiosity is normal.
Hopefully you can talk to him about what he's doing and explain to him that it is ok that he masturbates and talking to him about what he does with friends has to be limited to friends his age older boys could manipulate him into doing things.
It's time for the talk and letting him know that he can talk to you about these things and the feelings he has should help him understand the changes his is going through and the attractions he is having.
He is young but it seems early development is common so talking to him about what is acceptable and what isn't should be done.
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I will talk with him. I do believe the play is mutual was just surprised that it was more than just showing and touching. Looks like there is a talk in our future.
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Stressful and uncomfortable thing to talk about about but needs to be done it is common that boys do this with their friends. They seem to know about these things and try them pretty young but the percentage of boys that do it is very high and it starting around his age is pretty common as well.
If he and his friends got caught doing it he no doubt feels embarrassed and might be thinking he did something wrong talking with him will help him understand the changes he is going through and that his curiosity is normal.
Hope it goes well for you its great he has an understanding mom that he will be able to talk with.
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I will admit I was very “upset” at first, but just sat and calmed down. If it was just touching I probably would have been upset, but (trying to find a delicate way of saying it), play using the mouth, and then fingers in certain area (not penis) during masturbation was in a word surprising. But after relaxing and taking a breathing moment decided to ask some one about the activities.
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Decided not to worry at all about the underwear and bed sheets. Will let the clothes washer deal with that. Told him at night if he only wanted to wear a t shirt that was ok. Don’t want to make a big deal because he was a bedwetter till about 8. So don’t want to bring that back up.
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An understandable reaction to finding out your little boy is doing these things cause it would be the last thing you would have thought about him doing probably.
Taking the time to calm down and think things over is best for him and you.
I can say at his age I was regularly doing all of that other than the finger part and with many of my friends.
His sexuality has no doubt crossed your mind but just because he is doing this it does not mean he is gay.
He will discover his sexuality as he continues to grow and develop straight, bi or gay he just needs the support understanding he has always had.
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Ok, thanks. A friend told me that her son did the oral with friends till he was about 15 and then started dating girls. Not worried about him being gay or straight. Just him being very interested in doing that with other boys and wanting to be nude in front of other boys. Probably a phase.
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Yeah stress can easily trigger bed wetting to flare back up so it is not worth even mentioning it is just him discovering self-pleasure and it is in his own room.
Had the same issue for much longer so understand you not wanting to get him worrying about it.
He would be very discouraged if he starting wetting again after being dry for awhile hopefully puberty does not cause him any problems with wetting starting back up either.
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The masturbation amount will probably help his foreskin so just let him do that as much as he wants
—singlemother
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Part of growing up and discovering who he is.
At the moment it could feel natural for him that he is interested in and and attracted to other boys time will tell if it changes and if it does or doesn't change that is just fine.
He has a great understanding mom that will help him understand and get through all of this.
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So it is true that puberty can trigger bed wetting again. He had a wetting the other night I just didn’t even mention it. Put a mattress cover on and sheets back over top. I will not do the night diaper thing again was a huge mistake. Would rather him wet the sheets. If he says any thing I will just tell him to try to get to bathroom . -singlemother
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Thank you. Will let him just enjoy
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Yeah for some it does flare up again during puberty it could have been related to him and his friend getting caught experimenting if that is how you found out about it.
He also could have just not went to pee before he fell asleep.
He may have a few wet nights here and there for some time but putting the mattress cover on is all he needs.
With his mattress protected the bedding is easily washed.
Hopefully he just had an off night and wet the bed it is a medical condition that is hard to overcome so the occasional accident is understandable.
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Yes the diapers bothered him, emotionally and would cause a rash and lots of foreskin and penis problems. Was terrible so at 9 1/2 I stopped that. The “play” yes I saw them but did not intervene. They stopped waited then I guess when I didn’t say anything they continued later. Hope the wetting is just puberty. He has barely started that has had a couple of night emissions could see stains on the sheets. Believe he has had a couple of similar incidents during day. Stains in his underwear not like pee stains.
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