Hello,
About 8 weeks ago I had discovered I was pregnant. Even though my boyfriend and I had discussed numerous times prior to finding out that we would embrace any pregnancy that happened to us, this was not the case. I, especially, was extremely nervous and full of anxiety when I found out. My boyfriend was very supportive and said he would do whatever it took to support myself and the child, but I could also tell he was just as afraid as I was. After a long talk between the two of us, we both decided that we were not ready to be parents. I'm 22 and work full time, live with a roommate, and have a lot of big bills for someone my age. He is 25 and works part time, and still lives with his parents, and lacks some assets most adults his age have. So we agreed having an abortion is what was best for us. We made appointments at Planned Parenthood and decided to go with the medical abortion route. It was scary because I was the only girl in the group of women there who had chosen the pill over a D&C. The actual avortion itself was very traumatic on me - you see things you will never un-see and the physical pain is monumental. After the worst had passed, the physical signs of pregnancy started to go away, and I begin to return to normal. But my hormones have been off the charts since that day. I've been suicidal in the past and I feel like now those kinds of thoughts have increased tenfold. I hardly want to get out of bed anymore. I don't do hardly anything to maintain my appearance anymore (I rarely wear make-up now or do anything with my hair), my life now consists of going to work and coming home. My boyfriend and I are still together, and we discuss this situation frequently, both saying we regret the choice we made and how we wish we would've stayed parents. That makes it so much more difficult. What I can I do to kick the blues, and forgive myself and my boyfriend for this?
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Hi Guest,
I can only imagin how upset you feel over this. But unfortunately whats done is done. You both came to this conclusion and the only thing I can say is go out somewhere nice with him for the weekend, have fun and given time you'll feel better. Then maybe you could get pregnant on purpose in a nuber of months when you know its what you want. I've had a miscarriage and was devastated over it so I sort of know how you feel in a way. Only time will tell.
Hope this helps and baby dust for you both in the future.
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Hi there,
I'm really sorry for what you're going through and the hard thing is there is no quick fix for going through something like this. I had an abortion 6 months ago and it left my feeling horribly depressed to the point of a suicide attempt, as like you I'd had depression in the past and was vulnerable to that kind of emotional response. I think something you need to do is be kind to yourself, although it seems like you've made a horrible choice you did have your reasons and you are not alone in this. Many women make the same decision and experience the same pain and it's important to allow yourself to feel this rather than push it all down to come out later and much stronger. Physically as well your hormones will still be all over the place and as your natural instincts are to become all maternal this is bound to increase the feelings of guilt, but hopefully after a few months your body will start to settle down so you are better able to cope with your own emotional pain. Counselling is always an option and it sounds healthy that you and your partner are so open with one another. Just stop beating yourself up about this! This doesn't make you a bad person just for being careful and considerate in your life choices. I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother when the time is right :)
Best wishes, Pip
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