Hello everyone. Well I guess I'll begin by giving you all a bit of a recap of my lovely addiction. About 6 years ago my husband and I owned a motorcycle shop and we also did stunts together on our sport bikes. One horrible day we had an accident and I shattered my left arm so beginning the spiral into my opiate addiction! I seriously only started taking them after my surgery for the pain but once you know what they can do, and if you have an addictive brain as I do, well I'm sure you all know how that goes. I wasn't too bad at first. Maybe I'd just pop a few extra vics for some extra energy or maybe something depressed me so I wanted to be numb. Anyway at the height of my addiction I would take whatever opiate I could get my addicted little hands on. If it was oxy I could take 3-4 30mgs a day, vics I could take up to 30 7.5s a day. ( I'm sure my liver loved that). My husband had no clue, neither did any of my family. To this day it is only my husband who knows everything. I had to tell him because I got into some trouble by forging prescriptions. Yep I went that stupid...lost my pill dealer so I thought hey I'll just forge some scripts. Yeah...great idea. I am now a very well educated graduate of one of the top schools in the nation with 4 felonies on my record. Can't get a job flipping burgers to save my life. Threw it all away just to be high. I guess it could be worse I could have also lost my husband, home and family. Ok back to the point. I had my 1st court hearing August 18th, 2010 where I was charged & sentenced. 3yrs probation, fines & rehab. Aug 18th 2010 is still my clean date from pain pills and now I know I should've never listened to the Dr's in rehab about how wonderful Suboxone would be for my recovery. It is now March 24, 2013 and I still have a "drug problem" because I now can not kick the subs that my Dr keeps prescribing me. I was also NEVER informed of how bad wds are with this devil drug. Found that out on my own when trying to quit several times. So here I am again, I only have four 2mg strips left and that is it. I will not continue this drug any longer. I know I m going to need help and that is why I am here. I will need support from all of you who are going through the same thing. My husband says he will be supportive but we all know that someone who has never had addiction or wds has no idea. Plus I know him, been together for 15yrs, and he is going to get pissed when I just don't "snap out of it." He thinks I just stop, may be sick a few days and that's it! So PLEASE help me, share your thoughts and stories with me. Give me any advice that may help me. I have no idea how to even begin this journey. I figured I would just taper these last four as much as possible. Like cut em in half, take one then go as many days as possible, take another 1mg then go even more days till those are gone. Is that a good idea or should I just throw em out and start now? Ugh...any input is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for any help.
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