Well this is day two of my self administering suboxone treatment. Yesterday I had 4 of the strips, this morning I took 2 and hope to not take but 1 tomorrow, and 1 for a few to see how that goes, then start halfing the strips. So far so good, I feel "well" again, normal even, have energy, cheerful. I have 5 fractures of my back that were the result from a seizure, and I have a lot of back pain, and pain in my shoulders really bad most of the time. My problem is that my dr. only subscribes oxy 10's four times a day to me, and I end up taking that whole bottle in a couple of days or so,, then it's back to buying on the streets, because for one, I genuinely have pain, and two, I am an addict. I get so frustrated, and feel hopeless, how am I ever gonna get my body straightened out? Wondering if I will ever find a happy medium somewhere, or wonder if I might as well face it life is gonna suck. I feel like I have a disease (back fractures, etc) and am allergic to the cure : opiates for pain. I know Im not the only person in the world who is like this, but I surely feel like it. Im embarassed to say how much medicine I can take and most people wouldn't have a clue i'd done anything, Im just saying that I don't start nodding off or just any obvious symptoms of being on pills, you know what Im saying. Any advice, or just being able to talk with people who know how I feel would just mean so much. I need a pocket therapist! lol