Its a horrible way to be. Sober and ill. Ive been abusing all that I can for years. Oxy ...Vic...Tram..Morph..Lyrica ...Aderol...Ryd...etc. I went cold turkey without the support needed and I lasted 10 days still felt like hell started a new job and relapsed..I hate being a slave Im under fire from my wife as she hates me and the drugs. She is on her 6 year of college and gonna be a mental health counselor I try to tell her i need help and she screams at me ..I dont hit her but It hurts me to hear her words so I smash the house...sometimes I wake and forget what happened...I call her a hypocrite as she cant understand my status. Im a slave and drugs are my master. I cant be with her and get help..its sad. I have waste-o friends that cant help. Im out of drugs and reading of others as I can feel the withdrawal comin on again as always. The legs never stop...sweat...freeze...no sleep...sh**s...etc. Ill lose all I have to get what I need. I think I can spare the wife but I love our dogs..lol sorry. Im pounding cough syrup for a little relief. I hate this s**t and cant stand my thoughts. I wanna get help but will lose all I can to save myself. What can I do??? Its only day 1.

"like a cat in a bag waiting to drown ....waiting too drown this time Im comin down...

Now the drugs dont work..... they just make me worse ....but I know Ill see your face again" Richard Ashcroft
:-(