This was your last reply and my reply to you
i know i tell my self this every day whats in the past is in the past .but i just cant change my feeling.she told me she wasnt a virgin.and if she was shouldnt there be blood or anything else? i know there has not been alot of penetration but i do use my finger in her vagina.and she lets me do it .dont you think she would try to stop me if she was a virgin? i guess i am possessive of her.but i try to hide it do you think she might know that i am possessive of her?may be not in words but in body language
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No just because a girl is a virgin doesn't mean her hymen has to be in tact, there are many ways a hymen can get ruptured without intercourse from simple things like riding a bicycle, gymnastic style stretching exercises, horse riding or simple masturbating or letting her exboyfriend finger her, technically until a penis penetrates the vagina for the first time hymen or no hymen a female is still a virgin.
Yes it probably does show in your body language that to are being a bit possessive towards her and as I said if you don't stop it you are going to loose her, nearly every female these days has a sexual past and a lot are also very independent woman that won't put up with a guy who's jealous of there past. Just forget about who has touched her body before you and respect her wish he she doesn't want to talk about what her and her ex did.
As I said a relationship doesn't have to be just about sex.
In reply to your last question. There is no way to tell if she has broken her hymen by one of the ways I have stated above, the hymen is at the entrance to her vagina so you wouldn't feel any difference inside on the vagina wall only by how tight her vagina is.
i know i tell my self this every day whats in the past is in the past .but i just cant change my feeling.she told me she wasnt a virgin.and if she was shouldnt there be blood or anything else? i know there has not been alot of penetration but i do use my finger in her vagina.and she lets me do it .dont you think she would try to stop me if she was a virgin? i guess i am possessive of her.but i try to hide it do you think she might know that i am possessive of her?may be not in words but in body language
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No just because a girl is a virgin doesn't mean her hymen has to be in tact, there are many ways a hymen can get ruptured without intercourse from simple things like riding a bicycle, gymnastic style stretching exercises, horse riding or simple masturbating or letting her exboyfriend finger her, technically until a penis penetrates the vagina for the first time hymen or no hymen a female is still a virgin.
Yes it probably does show in your body language that to are being a bit possessive towards her and as I said if you don't stop it you are going to loose her, nearly every female these days has a sexual past and a lot are also very independent woman that won't put up with a guy who's jealous of there past. Just forget about who has touched her body before you and respect her wish he she doesn't want to talk about what her and her ex did.
As I said a relationship doesn't have to be just about sex.
In reply to your last question. There is no way to tell if she has broken her hymen by one of the ways I have stated above, the hymen is at the entrance to her vagina so you wouldn't feel any difference inside on the vagina wall only by how tight her vagina is.
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let me ask you this can she be a virgin mentally and not physically?what i mean is that even though somebody else penetrated her she never exprenice any orgasam ,pleasure or love like she feels wih me.and never been inlove with nobody else, and maybe she felt only pain and thats why she is trying to be very careful with me. what do you think/
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If she experienced a lot of pain with her last partner when she lost her virginity then that can cause a a barrier to be put up when she tries to have intercourse again because even though she feels ready to have intercourse her memories relate intercourse or even fingering if it was very rough the first time it was done with pain there for causing the vagina muscles to constrict causing either extreme discomfort or pain or even a case of where the guy can't penetrate into the vagina at all.
To get over things like that can take a long time and a very patient gentle guy that loves her.
As I said before though by only knowing your side of the story makes it extreme hard to advise you of the best way to go about it.
To get over things like that can take a long time and a very patient gentle guy that loves her.
As I said before though by only knowing your side of the story makes it extreme hard to advise you of the best way to go about it.
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I also forgot to say it can also cause a mental block towards any pleasure she may experience during any future intercourse until she can over come it.
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hmm it begining to make sense now .that is why when i stick my finger or my penis in her it feels too tight ,her muscles in her vagina are constricting .is this normal.i mean do all women do this when there about to have intercourse .?or is it the opposite they relax their muscles? do you think i should talk to her about this and how?i dont want to insult her or make her more nervous.
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If that is the cause of the problem it's called vaginismus where the muscles around the vagina entrance go into spasm either with touch to the vagina or during penetration causing pain.
This is just something I'm thinking it could be just by what you say I could be totally wrong about it though.
It's not something that is common but as I said it can be caused by first time painful intercourse or fingering and also some woman who have been sexually assaulted find that it affects them also.
Because I can't be sure that Is the cause I wouldn't advise you to say anything specially seeing as she doesn't like to talk about sexual problems.
All woman can have tensed up vagina muscles and very few are totally relaxed all the time so that is where foreplay comes in to help relax the person, to turn them on and lubricate the vagina and to help get the vagina to expand to take a penis.
This is just something I'm thinking it could be just by what you say I could be totally wrong about it though.
It's not something that is common but as I said it can be caused by first time painful intercourse or fingering and also some woman who have been sexually assaulted find that it affects them also.
Because I can't be sure that Is the cause I wouldn't advise you to say anything specially seeing as she doesn't like to talk about sexual problems.
All woman can have tensed up vagina muscles and very few are totally relaxed all the time so that is where foreplay comes in to help relax the person, to turn them on and lubricate the vagina and to help get the vagina to expand to take a penis.
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could it be, i am only asking for an opinion .that there can be something more like assualt or molestation or even rape?.that is why she tell me shes been with other guys to cover up these instances.or to block them out, maybe thats why she shys away from talking about sex.and maybe its not the size of my penis but a flash back of the mental scars.this would defintly be something i couldnt talk to her about but what do you think?it is a real sensitive issue ive heard her say no no a couple of times but i thought it was that i was penetrateing to much so i stoped and she would relax and then she would start to cry.i thought it was because she had told me she didnt feel like a woman that she could not have intercourse with me does it make sense to you?
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It could very well be but you can't make her talk about something like that if she doesn't want to and you certainly don't want to bring it up in conversation but then it could simply be the fact she is from a very religious family and maybe in her mind she sees sex before marriage sinful and that's affecting her.
Without her wanting to talk about the problem your just going to have to wait until she feels ready or see if she will talk to me so I can see if I can find out why she is reluctant to have intercourse.
Without her wanting to talk about the problem your just going to have to wait until she feels ready or see if she will talk to me so I can see if I can find out why she is reluctant to have intercourse.
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that might be a good idea for you to talk to her .but i just cant work up the nerve to ask her.i am afraid to be rejected or worse for her to get mad and leave.she is a very reserve person she is a simple person the kind to stay home and watch a movie and eat popcorn thats what we have in common i like that in her .but how do i tell her?i am going to see her this weekend . she is going to come to my apartment and we are going to talk again i am really nervous about it .i think that she has been talking to her mother about me .because she is going to bring her 16 year old step brother. i didnt ask why i just said great .so well see how it goes.and how far we can get on our conversation.but i am glad to see her this weekend do you think i should talk about any thing about our sex thing ?or if she wants to talk to you/ do you think its the right time?
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I wouldn't say anything this weekend about anything just enjoy the time you have together, I don't think she would talk to her mother about your sex life I think it's more the case when she comes to see you she feels pressured to have sex or even talk about her sexual problems at the moment so bringing her step brother is like an insurance that nothing like that will happen. Does she only come over to your apartment at weekend's and does she stay over night normally, how often during the week an you and her talk and when you have been having oral or intercourse before who is the one who usually suggests it or makes the first move to initiate it you or her?
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she never initiate sex or makes the first move i usually start by putting my arm around her while we sit on the sofa .and then start kissing her then one thing leads to another.she has a very busy schedule she works and goes to school in the evening .so its rare she comes to my apt. during the week. she has stayed at my apt. several time on the weekend.we do talk on the phone during the week but most of the time its brief what your doing ,how was your day that sort of thing.i know that if her step brother comes over there will be no sex of any type but ill enjoy the same without sex. do you think we should stay home or go out? i want her step bro.to feel comfortable. do you think he will be comfortable staying home?
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Have you done that move every time she has come over to initiate sexual action with her?
What age is her step brother and what sort of things does he like?
What age is her step brother and what sort of things does he like?
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yea kinda sort of it might be a little differnt sometimes .sometimes i think of doing some thing spontaneous to surprise her but i dont know what is approrpiate for her,do you have any ideas?to be honest when i see her i just want to jump in and have sex with her but i wont ever do that, at least not soon.something spontaneous like that?her step brother is 16 years old .ive never met him before so do you think i should ask if they want to go out or stay home?
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That could be another reason why she is starting to not want sex because she feels that every time she comes over your going to want it I'm afraid to say.
Do you have a park or somewhere you can walk in the country side or woods near you because if you do make a picnic, I take it you Know what that is then go to the park or where ever it's nice and have it but make it romantic.
16 is a hard age to know what to do, I would say ask your girlfriend what they want to do for the day go out somewhere or stay in.
Again it's hard for me to say what you and her can do that is different because I don't know what either of you like or if you could afford to take her to the cinema ever once in a while to see a movie just as something different, I understand how it is for you at your age that all you want to do when she comes over is jump her bones and have great sex but as I said a relationship isn't all about sex, you need to find some other common interests you both have and do them.
Do you have a park or somewhere you can walk in the country side or woods near you because if you do make a picnic, I take it you Know what that is then go to the park or where ever it's nice and have it but make it romantic.
16 is a hard age to know what to do, I would say ask your girlfriend what they want to do for the day go out somewhere or stay in.
Again it's hard for me to say what you and her can do that is different because I don't know what either of you like or if you could afford to take her to the cinema ever once in a while to see a movie just as something different, I understand how it is for you at your age that all you want to do when she comes over is jump her bones and have great sex but as I said a relationship isn't all about sex, you need to find some other common interests you both have and do them.
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i dont know what you mean when you say i take it ?but thats a good idea the only thing is i have to ask her what time shes comming over hope its not to late,i havent been to.a picnic in a long time, i think she will enjoy that there are many beatiful parks where i live .every time the setting is right and romatic i kinda get carried awayi just cant help myself. i want to be with her all the time i mean sexaually but i am going to control myself because .of her step bro,you know im kinda lucky that she is a simple person ,she never really ask me to take her out she always perfers to stay home and relax she is busy during the week.but will ask her what her and her bro think do you think its approprates to kiss her and hug her in front of her bro?or just be close to her?if we do go i want it to be special and perfect for her.
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