so here i am...once again..out of pills..took my last vik 7.5 this morning...the anxiety hasnt fully set in yet..but i know its on its way..i have stopped and started again numerous times in the last couple months...went from may - july 5th without any type of opiates...in july i thought i could get a couple and that would be it..bad, bad idea!..it has been on and off since then...ill use for a couple days..then stop,tell myself thats it..tired of going thru the wd's every couple weeks...i have managed to keep this secret for 7 yrs now and am just so exhausted about it all...i have a wonderful wife that im sure would be supportive..just dont wanna tell her cause it would break her heart..we have been married for 3 years..but were together years ago...broke up cause i didnt wanna grow up..well we reunited in '07 after both of us having failed marriages..i just started down that horrible pill road when we got back together..but have dealt with my ex wife ever since..so it helped kill the pain of constant arguing with the ex...all that aside..im so tired of stopping...detoxing..being clean for a week or 2..then getting another handfull of pills...basically starting all over again...i have spent thousands of dollars..told thousands of lies...all to keep a buzz for an hour or 2...i want to stop once and for all so bad...
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well its thurs and i have not takin any opiates today..because i have no money and cant find any..but i really,really dont want to take them anymore...im tired of rushing around tryin to find money and pills..i have done so many shitty things to get money and pills..i was brought up in a much different manner..these damn opiate will turn u into something yur not..an addict ...a thief...a liar...etc. i have recreationaly abused these pills for 7 years...im so tired of it..i have stopped a couple times but never make it past day 8...which by that time i have detoxed enough to not have anymore in my system...the p.a.w.s. really gets me..so does the boredom....i finally start felling better , then i get that call..or i get my paycheck...then the cycle starts right back up...i need some help...
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Hi us
Well, it's Sunday and hope you made it. If not, keep trying. You've jumped a couple of hurdles - #1, acknowledging you are addicted and #2 - having the desire to quit.
Sounds like you and your wife have a wonderful relationship. You have a bright future and if you can beat these and put it all behind you, the future will be that much brighter.
Good luck and prayers your way.
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