trying to get off painkillers without having to go to a rehab or be put on anything else....any help

Hi dMOMMIkrk87,  So, I guess my first question would be, what are you taking the pain meds for? 2. Do you have a chronic condition that causes you pain. 3. Are you prescribed these meds by a doctor, or is this purely a recreational addiction? The reason I ask is because if you have a chronic pain condition and that is why you take them, then unless & until you resolve that issue stopping the pain meds is only going to serve to put you back in pain and start a vicious cycle right? Unfortunately, I am not a doctor and cannot help you there. However, if you are taking them solely for recreational purposes then I commend you for accepting that you have a problem and seeking help for you, and your family, (because it's their problem too isn't it?) First and foremost, if you don't know already, just stopping taking these meds is not only painful, it is incredibly dangerous! Don't do it this way! Plus it just doesn't work right?

So, you really need to first get yourself mentally physically ready for this, it won't be easy, (nothing worth having is ya know?) You need to make your family and friends aware of your desire to get off the meds, & that you're going to be going through detox & there will be side effects from it. You will need a support system, and lots of understanding while your body adjusts to not depending on it's altered state. Don't make them wonder while you're sad, angry, irritable, sick, introverted and the myriad of other symptoms you will probably have during this time. Also, so they can help get you through these times.

I would get yourself a notebook dedicated to journalling this entire experience, not only will it be really great to look back on when you are clean and remind yourself where you were, and where you never want to go again. I would start writing in it before you even start to detox, write about why you want to get off the meds, what you will gain by getting clean, and what you will lose if you don't. Write about how it's changed you, affected your life, your relationships with those around you and yourself, what do you tell yourself everyday to make it through the guilt, what are you going to tell yourself while detoxing to keep yourself in check. Find a quote that you write in big bold or colored writing that gives you strength, encouragement or a serious kick in the ass if you need it. Maybe even write your kids letters while you're doing it explaining to them how you got here and how they mean so much to you that you are going through this for them too. Even if they are too young to understand, or will never read it, it is therapy for you to talk to them through this, apologize to them for taking their mom from them (I am only guessing you're a woman from your name, if not I apologize.) Write to your fiance, your friends & family that have all been affected by your use, and will go through the effects of the detox with you. 

On to the detox, I need to know how many pills you are taking a day. If you want to private msg me I would really like to try to help you do this, I have kids, and the thought of losing them makes me sick to my stomach, & I'm willing to bet it does you too. If they lose you, It would be a tragedy. I look forward to hearing from you. 

it depends how many your taking. i take up to 15 - 20 a day now. but when i was younger i used to take between 4-6 every few days (panadeine extra 15mg codeiene) or sometimes everyday and i found it easier to quit then, when i wasnt on a high dose. i have had a problem with codeiene for 12 years and at one stage i was taking 6 tablets every day and the withdrawals for this when i quit was muscle pain, runny nose, flu symptoms, agitation, insomnia and just an overall feeling like i was dying for 3 days, after those three days i was ok then i had the mental problem come in of my head always thinking to get some more as they are easily obtained over the counter. now that i am on such a high dose i tried to quit the other day and i flipped out and got really angry about everything, at my boyfriend for no reason and my child was driving me nuts. i didnt even wait long enough to develop the physical symptoms before i took some more tablets to calm me. pain killers produce a euphoric feeling which is addictive and i have noticed that i cant wait for those tablets to kick in cause i get warm feeling all through my chest and it relaxes me. the problem is when you stop the emotions that you were hiding over things that happened that you didn't feel at the time also bombard you. so really i think i am looking at a 1 week detox which is scaring the sh*t out of me. i have been in detox before for quitting weed. codeiene , as soon as it goes into your system turns to morphine so you have similar symptoms of a heroine withdrawal just not as severe..there is no easier way really....they give you valium in detox to reduce the symptoms of illness and check your vitals to make sure you dont have a seizure or anything like that but the thing is detox is painful, the best way to do it is through meeting at NA admitting to a bunch of people your problems is like admitting to yourself you have a problem and it gives you a bit of power back