Update on Quitting

this has been the best website ever. there are so many positve ppl even thoough the c**p they have been through! it makes me more positve!!! me becoming an alcholic is the last thing anyone has to worry about. i dont like to drink! well its okay i always get a headache and hangover though. hate it! im done with the booze and the weed im gonnna live a sober life....well besides my xanex wchich i havent taken in like a week and half woo hoo! its really hard though as you all know.
thank you bambi, im just trying to focus my attention on something besides me, i dunno if feel if i help him with his addiction i would feel better too! he hasnt had a vicodin in like a week hes doin pretty good, the doctors gave him tramadol instead, which he hates! he had some nerve shock thing done come to find out he has a disc pushing on his siatic nevre which is about to ruputre.......which means surgery. they are doin a mri sometime next week to make sure and get everything they need. and they said he would need pain pills after! that i would have to monitor him and give him what it says! i know hes an addict i mean ive grown up with my stepdad who just got off the sh*t a year ago now hes addicted to metho whatever its called. he took vicodin valium oxycodoone oxycotin! he actually has a machine in his back that he pushes some button and it sends vibrations and shocks through him. bt hes off thank god!!!i know hes not addicted as he could be, i mean my stepdad took thirty vicodin a day or ten to fiftenn oxys a day! he was gone! im afraid my hubby is gonna get like that if i dont help!
im doin alittle betteer, really depressed i go in and out of it though! i will be happy then all of the sudden just start crying and then im pissed at myself for being a weak person! still havent gotten an appointment with a psychiatrist been trying my butt of but no one has called back. called one of them and they didnt have an appointment open till november!! i know i need to see one i hope someone calls me back soon! sometimes i think if i just smoked a joint all this would just disappear adn i would be back to normal, well what i thought was normal. That none of this would be bothering me anymore. i know i would just be numbing myself again...but it just seems so much better than having to deal with this depression everyday...the anxiety has gettin better, wont go drinkin agagin because the last four days have been like the first week of coming off the pot. depression sucks i have to find a way out of it! i know i do. everyday gets alittle better, i just hate the feeling i have and wish i could understand it. i always have teh feeling im gonna have an anxiety attack but it never comes. its right there under my skin and it just dont come.....

VAngie that feeling of always being afraid of getting an axiety attack will subside assuming you stay on this path! One day you will be doing something terrifying and it will just click , you'll think whats the big deal anyways... I'm still waiting for it but i can feel it coming..

Benj

oh im def staying on this path. not getting off...want to but not going to! Have a question...at night its like im afraid to go to sleep cause im afraid im gonna quit breathing, thats when my anxiety is at the worst. I guess cause thats when i smoked the most. But is that anxiety the fear of dieing all the time. i think you know im also a hypocandriac, so i dont know if it fits in that catagory. But i will be in bed about to go to sleep and i have this fear that im not gonnna wake up that im gonna suffocate. I cant really breathe like anxiety ya know like its an anxiety attack coming on and my breathing is labored and i have to take deep breathes. what do you think? i know i use to be like this before i smoked but would numb all this stuff by smoking. I just want to know if its the same..... i have been around pot like 4 times so far adn havent smoked yet, im getting stronger and can actually finally say im proud of myself for something but then i look at myself adn say well your still f&**ed cause you still have problems!!!!

ITs 100% anxiety the fact that your a hypocondriac means nothing i felt and still sometime feel the same way. Before you go to bed tryp drinking some milk or eating a bowl of cereal. Another method is meditating for 20 mins before you go to bed. Finally you can try to actually get into bed and force yourself to have an anxiety attack sounds funny but it works, have you ever had an anxiety attack at will most likely never and telling yourself to bring it on actually reduced it. I learnt this from a program called panic away, it basically tells you to scream in your head is that all you got give me more.. until you realize theres no more ;-)

I'm very supportive of this and I think that you are doing really well! I think that it sounds like you're having an anxiety attack but if it's not, maybe you could get tested for emphysema? Have oyu considered that as an option at all?

Hi Vangie: Panic attacks are part and parcel of either a traumatic event or a chemical imbalance, So I have double anxiety attacks, that can only be handled by Clonazepam! IF your's just started from the dope, then BJ is right, Melatonin pills from the health food store are fantastic, Vitamin B shots are great - for stress, and the good old one = a cup of warm milk! It works a treat for youngest son - who has night terrors, and my dad who was very ill and couldn't sleep! Tramadol or Tramacet are VERY good pain medications, your husband might be against them because they aren't as addictive as Percs! It's such a hard time for everyone - including doctors - they have ALL these medications thqt can make pain virtually disappear, yet they are SO addictive and easily abusive. I went to my pharmacy 2 days ago and it says now - "Oxycontin has to be ordered 24 hours in advance, we no longer stock it!" We had about 10 \Oxy robberies in the last couple of months! These guys have walked in plain as day and just demanded it! All clean cut, and SO blatently! It is SO addictive! BUT you need something to stop the pain!! It's really a Catch 22, did you know that the owners of the company that makes Oxy were sued for over a billion dollars for pretending that they weren't addictive? I promise yourself and BJ that one day in the NEAR future you will wake up and think "WOW I haven't thought about this for ??? days!!!" It goes fast, look we are already in Fall! And Vangie you are right about helping others, but you have to help yourself 1st and make sure you can handle people being "new" if that makes sense! I could not have become a supporter on here 3 or 4 years ago! It was too close - understand?! Good luck and hugs to all!

well then i guess i have double the problem too. before i started smoking when i was 14 i had the same thing. so i started smoking and it did make it better as long as it was the right weed. some weed would make my anxiety worse..so i would just smoke some more until i was completly stoned and numb ya know. then i started taking the valuim and smoking and drinking...went to rehab and stopped all of it for about a year and a half. the first time i smoked after that i had an anxiety attck but kept on, after awhile the anxiety just went away...well was numbed! everytime i got prego i stpped smoking to. which was twice, then right after i had the kid i would start smoking again. each time i started back up i would have an anxeity attack.but then just smoke more adn those feelings would subside. today has been a good day.no anxiety yet!!! im extremely tired but thats it. ive been around pot now about half a dozen times and i dont have the urge to smoke, so i think thats a good thing. im mostly afraid to though. because my last panic attack was the worst! i just go day to day. one day im fine the next is unbearable! evetually i think i will be fine

my husband has been doing very well he barely takes the tramadol! im proud of him. but if he has his hands on anything else its gone quickly!! well thank you for everything! keep me updated also

Hi Vangie: You might need some help for your anxiety! This can really take it's toll on our bodies and emotional health! So check into this too, you don't have to be on them for ever! Sometimes you can just take them to get over a rough spot! Your hubby HAS to be careful not to take the Tramadol with other pain killers! Tramadol has a LOT of Acetominephine and can cause MAJOR liver damage, if he takes other Tylenol medications or opiates! He needs some help to control his pain and his addiction - it's a catch 22! Methadone has just been started to be used for both! I was on it, but I was so addicted to Perc's that it was like being on water! Good luck and health to both of you, just talk away OK?

I have been meditating a lot actually. I'm about to hit an hour a day and that's pretty intense but it works pretty well. I have had some relapses but you just gotta keep it up. What all else have you learned from this plan called panic away? I'd like to hear more.

Hey hate to bug, but do you have more information on this program called panic away? WHere did you find it? How much does it cost? Let me know if you can, okay?

okay two and half months have gone by and im still feeling like sh*t. im ready to smoke to see if it makes me feel better!! i cant stand feeling like this. i hate it, i am starting to hate mysefl worse. i cant stand myself, i dont wanna be around myself or anyone for that matter. seriously i cant do this anymore. i feel like im going crazy, i thinik something is wrong with me constantly which makes me have anxiety. im pissy all the time. never happy!! i hate it. i hate all this! i just want it to go away!!!everyone has there vices to get away somethime and i dont have sh*t anymore. im jsut tired

Whats going on hon? after 2 months clean you shouldn't feel like this! is there c**p going on in your life that makes you want to escape?

I'm really sorry to hear that and I know that it sucks but you have to stick it out. Get frustrated though! YOu should be. There's nothing wrong with you though--this is just how anxiety works. Thiking that there's something wrong with you? That's anxiety too! In fact, that's the feeling you're going to get that makes you think that there's something wrong with you...does that make sense?

im just stressed really really stresssed! i havent been on in awhile due to everything that is happening! my hubby lost his job totaled my car adn im stuck living with my mom! xanex dont help my anxiety neither does teh breathing c**p! i just feel stuck! its been threee months now i think....ive lost track with all that is happening! im just so tired. i keep having dreams about smoking, ppl keep bringing it up. i just want to smoke once and see if it helps. but i dont want to make it a habit. and i love it so much i think i will!! but maybe since i dont want to i wont.so myabe i can just try! i just wish my brain would be right again! i seriously think im driving myself looney! IM so lost! i dont really have a support system anymore. everybody has been seeing what im going through and think that maybe i should smoke agian. if im gonna feel like this. Im pretty sure if i had insurance to see a doc things would be alot better! but we dont have any right now! im also pretty sure my husband is going to go back to work for the oil c**p so he wont be home but a week out of the month, which depresses me, back to single mommy (but whith a paycheck lol)

i though i would be feeling better to! no doubt it has gotten you know about 60% better and they say it takes a good six months for my brain to start acting right with as much as i was smokin! but i dunno. im tired of waiting. MY birthday is the 28th and i really wannna smoke on it, just to see. but i dont want to go through any of this again. its not worth it. it is to see if it helps but .....
if i have a panic attack, ill be back in the same boat and frustated with myself all over again. My husband and i have come to the conclution i have no self esteem or confidence, the only thing that keeps me going is my kids! just them! so theres a point where i dont care what happens after i smoke but theres a point where i tell myself im selfsish i have my kids to think about. i was a great mommy when i smoked...way better than now! right now its all been about me finding my way out of how im feeling! i dont play with them as much, i dont dont take them to do as much! because of the anxiety and depression! i know i need to be put on something but with no insurance im just gonna have to deal..and pray my kids never remember me like this!! i can stand it!! i hope they dont, i wish i was the fun loving mom i was while i was smoking, right now i have no patience or anythign with them. well somedays i do but most days i dont!!! what do i need to do????????????????????????????????????????????? :-(

Hi Hon! You remember when I told you guys that I still have my last pill of Percocet in the bottom of my purse? Well lately I have come to the point of taking it out and just looking at it!!! I am SO tempted to take it, but I think about it and all the c**p that went with it, that I end up putting it back in it's little container!

The reason why you miss it so much is your addicted brain isn't healthy yet and cannot sustain all the stress you are going through right now! What I want to ask you is this? IF you were to smoke a joint on your birthday, would the stress and c**p STILL be there the day after?!! The answer would be YES - right? And then would it be worth just smoking on one day? The answer will be NO! And no for a totally different reason than you think it is! NO is because you will need to keep on smoking up, so you don't have to go through all this stress! And then you will be right back to where you started! Which will be REALLY hard on you honey!

There are millions of us around the world who are REALLY stressed out right now! Be it loosing their jobs, loosing their homes and the worst - for people in the States anyway - having NO health insurance, ESPECIALLY when they need it!

My opinion is this, there is a reason why ALL the poppy fields in Afghanistan haven't been torched to the ground and wiped out! Herroine and other narcotics are BIG BIG business, and this is the only way that it will keep people like yourself and millions of others from taking to the streets and demanding better! If you are stoned out of your mind, you are less likely to do anything about your crappy situation!

IF your friends are pushing you to smoke, that is a BAD thing!!! My friends did everything in their power to keep me off it! and you need to surround yourself with others of the same ilke! I am not saying they are bad friends, but they are NOT helping you, basically because you can't help someone else if you don't help yourself first! so they can't see a way out, and as far as they are concerned, they want you to be with them!

The only way to change all this, is to rethink everything, keep thinking and saying to yourself that this WILL get better over time! I know it's hard honey, but it WILL get better little by little! When I was off of it for good, I couldn't believe that it took SO long for my mind to start thinking straight! I just kept thinking - like yourself - "AWH WTF!!!!!!?" I will just go back on it, this isn't working! But it was and did! Like I said, there are MANY times that all I want to do is lie to my doctor and say "I think I can go back on the Perc's again and that I'm totally in control now!" But he AND I know better! And we have such strict laws here, and all your pills are on a computer system so they know exactly how much you are taking! That's how quack doctors are able to get away with it! Like mine they just perscribe hundreds a month, and there is no consequences to it! So just hang in there OK? And when it comes to your birthday, IF you feel that you can just smoke once in a blue moon, then you could give it a try! BUT just be aware that if you compromise like that, it could be a slippery slope! Good luck honey!