Hello people, I was going through a withdrawl phase in life and still am. I'm about 7 months in and I still see no improvement. My mind feels completely blanked out, I can't focus , my memory is shot out and unbearable to receive clear images. 7 months ago I thought id be perfectly fine by now but I was wrong. It's been really hard for me to cope with reality. My humors emotions and feelings are all gone although I do fake it when I'm around people so I don't show the negative energy in me. Everyday I seem happy but in reality I feel like I'm living a nightmare. All I want to do is feel normal. I miss being around my loved ones my best freinds hanging out meeting new people being the person I always was. I also need to be working but in this condition it feels as if it's impossible andI'm not trying as hard as I should because I don't even know if I could. Of course as the person as I always was, I'm still looking for a job pushing myself beyond limits but who knows if I do get one and I fail to contrast my duties because my incapability to cope as a normal human being. I wish I can hang out with my best friends smoke or drink every now and then and make conversation and I'm not talking anything crazy I don't even care about getting high or drunk as before. 7 months ago all I cared was to smoke weed all day everyday now I just want To be free of this pain. It's funny to say well atleast I say funny because that's what it is but to my perspective I can't find anything funny, out of every drug I've done smoking weed like an addict I was was really a wrong f*****g decision I developed. Who knows when I will be normal. Right now my set date to be normal is April which is about 5 months away. I really hope I will be normal again by then. Around that time spring will start so I'm hoping to do many activities and hanging out with my close ones again and having fun like I should at my age of 18. I decided to get a car I believe it would be beneficial for me on the long run maybe I can take it with me to college and also by the time I'm normal again I can find a job in a dash. I haven't been the person I usually am and I have no idea if people can notice it, I always get invited to different get togethers every now and then but I always deny the invitation not because I don't want to but because I just can't be my normal self. I know it hurts my freinds because they must think I just don't want to be around them but I wish I can tell them that it hurts me oh so much not being able to be normal. I haven't told anyone about my withdrawl because I know it will eventually pass I just don't know when. I'm trying my best every day to see a bright future but 7 months in to it it's kind of hard to keep staring into any sort of light of future positivity. I have gone to a neurologist and gotten multiple tests but they told me everything is perfectly fine. Then I was thinking of seeing a therapist but all I would've gotten was advice to help me feel better. If I got prescribed Xanax or anything similar I wouldn't want to take it as I would just develop even worst symptoms on the long run. I just try to be my own counselor telling my self I just have to keep pushing and pushing day by day. I go to the gym 5 days a week and hit the sauna and been doing it since the withdrawl started.i was a very heavy smoker for the past 4 years... Smoking about half oz a day please give me your opinions people is this normal for heavy smokers will I be normal by April witch would turn out to be a year free of weed?