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“What is really like being anorexic... let me tell you!!!” is the sentence I could hear very often while I was in hospital. I was admitted for broken knee, but there was a girl who was anorexic and ended up in a hospital because she was too weak. She kept saying this to the other patients, but I never got to hear the whole story. Is there anyone else who ended up surrounded by doctor and nurses because he/she had anorexia? I’d like to hear some experiences.

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I can tell you what it’s like being anorexic. I got through that seven years ago and I can only thank my friends, who spotted the problem and literally forced me to seek for help. Ever since I was a child I was too competitive and always wanted to be the best. After a car accident (I was 14 then) I had to give up tennis. I was very good at it so I couldn’t stand that. I had to stop with trainings and in the beginning I was afraid I would put on some weight if I eat too much since there was no physical activity for me at that time. I started to avoid food. I refused to eat any food my mother would prepare and would reach out for fruits and vegetables. I was so sorry I had to burry my hopes concerning tennis. I felt so guilty and now I know that all that stress and fear caused anorexia. I lost 12 kg in two months. I was not allowed to train, but I could take very long walks - I would cross even up to 10 km in one day. I drank a lot of water and ate once a day. I never had meat or sweets. When one of my friends tricked me into taking a bar of chocolate I spent two days without food in order to get rid of those extra calories. After three months I was as pale as a ghost, I could barely walk and I kept fainting. Fortunately, my friends didn’t want to shut up about that, as I asked them. They told my mother about my fainting and it took a lot of time and energy to persuade me to visit a doctor. I was admitted to hospital immediately and diagnosed with low blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, haemorrhoids, arrhythmia, very bad EEG and who knows what else. I spent six months in hospital. Psychiatrists tried to fix my mental state, which was the cause of all this, and a whole team tried to fix the damage in my body. Severe consequences remained - seven years from then I’ve developed a serious heart condition, my gastrointestinal tract is completely messed up and I take about ten pills a day. And they all have side effects. And I am only 22. But I still feel much better than I felt when my own stupidity forced me to count every calorie and starve myself to death.
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