Everytime me and my boyfriend have sex, it really hurts. We have sex quite often, but only sometimes I'm in so much pain after. Why is that happening?
Painful intercourse is VERY common! It can have many factors such as:
1. Infection
2. Latex Allergy
3. Hormone Imbalance
4. Lack of natural lubrication
5. Vaginal Trauma - birth etc.
6. STD/STI
7. Mental hangups - being taught sex was a sin, thinking sex is dirty
8. Signs of Endometriosis
9. Signs of Ovarian Cysts
So answer some questions and I can hopefully guide you in the right direction?
1. Do you have a smelly discharge or itchiness in the area?
2. Hopefully you use condoms - are they latex?
3. Do you notice if you have hair on your face, or painful periods?
4. Have you had a vaginal tear, or a delivery?
5. Have either yourself or your bf been tested for STI's
6. How do you feel about sex? Do you dream about it? Are you able to masturbate with no problems?
7. Do you have VERY painful periods, or trouble emptying your bladder, or painful bowel movements?
8., R your periods usually regular? do you have bloating or pregnancy symptoms?
1. Infection
2. Latex Allergy
3. Hormone Imbalance
4. Lack of natural lubrication
5. Vaginal Trauma - birth etc.
6. STD/STI
7. Mental hangups - being taught sex was a sin, thinking sex is dirty
8. Signs of Endometriosis
9. Signs of Ovarian Cysts
So answer some questions and I can hopefully guide you in the right direction?
1. Do you have a smelly discharge or itchiness in the area?
2. Hopefully you use condoms - are they latex?
3. Do you notice if you have hair on your face, or painful periods?
4. Have you had a vaginal tear, or a delivery?
5. Have either yourself or your bf been tested for STI's
6. How do you feel about sex? Do you dream about it? Are you able to masturbate with no problems?
7. Do you have VERY painful periods, or trouble emptying your bladder, or painful bowel movements?
8., R your periods usually regular? do you have bloating or pregnancy symptoms?
The same thing happens to me too! At first I thought it was because he took my virginity, but it still hurts everytime since then, its so frustrating for us :-(
Hi Guest! Look at the questions I asked and I can help you further as well! I would like both of you to know that I suffered for YEARS and YEARS it was physically impossible for us to have intercourse - which put a strain on our marriage! HE resented me, and I resented him for wanting to hurt me!!! (in my head I thoughht that) so I can DEFINITELY help OK? There Is light at the end of the tunnel I promise!
It's horrible! And I feel so bad for him, and he feels bad for hurting me. But answers to your questions...
1. I have discharge but it's not smelly and no itchiness.
2. Ya we use latex condoms
3. No hair on my face, but I do get painful periods
4. No tear other than the hymen
5. We've both been tested and are in the clear.
6. Right now not so good, because of the continuous pain, but I did feel really good about it. I do dream of it sometimes and I masturbate fine but I don't put anything into my vagina when I masturbate.
7. I did have really painful periods but I went on BCP because of it.
8. Now they are because of the BCP, but before they weren't...and not really sure what pregnancy symptoms are lol
I hope you can figure it out
1. I have discharge but it's not smelly and no itchiness.
2. Ya we use latex condoms
3. No hair on my face, but I do get painful periods
4. No tear other than the hymen
5. We've both been tested and are in the clear.
6. Right now not so good, because of the continuous pain, but I did feel really good about it. I do dream of it sometimes and I masturbate fine but I don't put anything into my vagina when I masturbate.
7. I did have really painful periods but I went on BCP because of it.
8. Now they are because of the BCP, but before they weren't...and not really sure what pregnancy symptoms are lol
I hope you can figure it out
What about bowel movements and urination do you feel pain with this? Do you remember ever having a transvaginal ultrasound - to see if you have ovarian cysts!
I would like you to have some of the big points ruled out first - these include getting to the bottom of if you have a problem with your hormones! And also if you might have the beginnings of endometriosis or ovarian cysts! See what that shows first! I would like your gyno to do a pelvic exam, a swab, and a hormone test and a transvaginal ultrasound! THEN in the meantime - when you see him/her, ask for a perscription for vaginal dialators! They are phalic shaped wax inserts, starting off with a penice size, all the way up to a aregular errect penis! What you do is, either warm or freesze them! Insert the smallest one with lubrications, let yourself reladx and then focus on breathing and taking away the pain. Then when you are comfortable with the pain and there is none, you go to the next one and so on! This teaches your brain that these are not to be worried about and become tense!
How is your hair and your energy level lately?
I would like you to have some of the big points ruled out first - these include getting to the bottom of if you have a problem with your hormones! And also if you might have the beginnings of endometriosis or ovarian cysts! See what that shows first! I would like your gyno to do a pelvic exam, a swab, and a hormone test and a transvaginal ultrasound! THEN in the meantime - when you see him/her, ask for a perscription for vaginal dialators! They are phalic shaped wax inserts, starting off with a penice size, all the way up to a aregular errect penis! What you do is, either warm or freesze them! Insert the smallest one with lubrications, let yourself reladx and then focus on breathing and taking away the pain. Then when you are comfortable with the pain and there is none, you go to the next one and so on! This teaches your brain that these are not to be worried about and become tense!
How is your hair and your energy level lately?
No I have no pain with that. And i've never had a transaginal ultrasound. I've had a pelvic exam before and that hurt too but they found nothing, and the swab which came back fine. And tampons are fine to use too, but yet when he puts his finger in me sometimes it hurts, and as soon as he puts his penis in it really hurts. Can a guy be too big for you or do something wrong!? But those dialators work? how long does it take?
My hair is fine, well it gets dry but i'm sure thats from all the blowdrying and hair straightening I do to it. And energy is okay I guess, the odd time I get tired.
My hair is fine, well it gets dry but i'm sure thats from all the blowdrying and hair straightening I do to it. And energy is okay I guess, the odd time I get tired.
IF you have no problem with tampons, BUT have a big problem with even his finger and especially his penis! I think what you have is called Vulvodynia! It is an unexplained pain of the vulva and womens genital area for unknown reasons! Our brains are our biggest sex organ! And when you have "hesitancy, bad feelings, bad experiences,etc" your brain's #2 job is to stop you from experiencing pain - like reminding you not to touch a flame etc. IF you have had pain - sometimes from the 1st time - your brain is like "OH! I don't think SO!!!" And shuts down ALL stimuli to that area, and makes it impossible for you to have a normal sex life! The dialators and even Pelvic Phsiotherapy and point release works wonders! Ask your doctor about being refered to a Vaginal/Pelvic Physiotherapist! And also the dialators! The therapist, shows you how to use point pressure therapy - to breathe through the pain - and relax the tense muscles and to do exercises to bring back pleasure to that area, and an easiness so that your brain does NOT look at sex as a VERY painful thing OK? There is help for this, you just need to reach Out and get it OK? Hope this helps! And Please don't be embarrassed! It is a VERY common thing with ALL ages of women! It's just not talked about very much!
I don't always have a problem with his finger, only sometimes like if he uses more then one or is too rough, but sometimes its pleasureable. So basically you think its all in my head? I have never heard of a pelvic physiotherapist before, or even the dialators. But thanks, I will make an appointment with my gyno then, hopefully it gets figured out i'm only 22! Because your right, the more it hurts everytime the more I get scared and don't want to do it.
Honey DONT think of it like "It's ALL in my head!" It's NOT! It's a REAL pain that your brain is causing! Have you ever heard of "Phantom Pains" When people loose their legs - the brain doesn't know it - so if you bang the nerve of where your foot was, the brain says "Your foot hurts" The brain is there to help you live and keep you from hurting! It is a terrible ailment, that you are NOT in control of! You just need to be able to teach your brain to know that this is NOT painful! and then it will relax!
I am going to give you WTMI but! When I had my boys, my 1st I had 50 vaginal internal stitches! My 2nd I was 1cm away from delivering him through my anus!! He had a 16 1/2 inch head! And it was SO bad I suffered untill about 3 years ago = when I finally found a wonderful gynecologist, that made appointments for me to see the physiotherapists and also gave me the dialators! At first I was MORTIFIED! BUT it's NOT sexual, it is these women teaching you how to get through the pain, and teach your brain that it's OK! They are TOTALLY professional and EXTREMELY caring! 1 girl actually gave me accupuncture in my face - connected to some sort of meridian! IT was AWESOME! I asked if they could do a face lift but she said no!!!! ;-) XD XD XD
I still have twinges - usually where the most scar tissue is - BUT compared to several years ago - there is NO comparisson! So the old addage is still true - IF I can get better, so can you! And it WILL be pleasurable again, your boyfriend NEEDS to know this too! That you are NOT doing this on purpose or as punishment! It is about coming to terms with it together and working gently and slowly together to get to a fullfilling natural sexual experience! It WILL happen - he jus thas to be patient and know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel! My 83 year old grandma told me once - when I was having a REALLY bad time with my yahoo "Tell him to take job in hand!!!!!!" ;-) o.O o.O o.O XD XD XD BIG HUGS!
I am going to give you WTMI but! When I had my boys, my 1st I had 50 vaginal internal stitches! My 2nd I was 1cm away from delivering him through my anus!! He had a 16 1/2 inch head! And it was SO bad I suffered untill about 3 years ago = when I finally found a wonderful gynecologist, that made appointments for me to see the physiotherapists and also gave me the dialators! At first I was MORTIFIED! BUT it's NOT sexual, it is these women teaching you how to get through the pain, and teach your brain that it's OK! They are TOTALLY professional and EXTREMELY caring! 1 girl actually gave me accupuncture in my face - connected to some sort of meridian! IT was AWESOME! I asked if they could do a face lift but she said no!!!! ;-) XD XD XD
I still have twinges - usually where the most scar tissue is - BUT compared to several years ago - there is NO comparisson! So the old addage is still true - IF I can get better, so can you! And it WILL be pleasurable again, your boyfriend NEEDS to know this too! That you are NOT doing this on purpose or as punishment! It is about coming to terms with it together and working gently and slowly together to get to a fullfilling natural sexual experience! It WILL happen - he jus thas to be patient and know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel! My 83 year old grandma told me once - when I was having a REALLY bad time with my yahoo "Tell him to take job in hand!!!!!!" ;-) o.O o.O o.O XD XD XD BIG HUGS!
Wow! well your pain makes total sense! i've never had that kind of truama to that area ever! -note to self don't have kids! just joking!-
What do these women do exactly then? do they go down there at all!?
Ya he knows theres no control over it, but its still frustrating because hes never been in this situation before, neither have I.
What your grandma said is classic!! XD
But thanks! I thought I was going crazy or something.
What do these women do exactly then? do they go down there at all!?
Ya he knows theres no control over it, but its still frustrating because hes never been in this situation before, neither have I.
What your grandma said is classic!! XD
But thanks! I thought I was going crazy or something.
OH! You're CRAZY alright, I'm just trying to make you feel better!!!! ;-) XD XD XD
Yes they go down there, and use "inserts" and use presure points etc. It is TOTALLY professional, and it's uncomfrotable but each time gets bettter and better!
Yes they go down there, and use "inserts" and use presure points etc. It is TOTALLY professional, and it's uncomfrotable but each time gets bettter and better!
Ya, Thanks! XD
I don't know if I like the sound of that, but if it helps then I suppose its worth it. I'll make an appointment tomorrow with my gyno and go from there. But thanks! :-D
I don't know if I like the sound of that, but if it helps then I suppose its worth it. I'll make an appointment tomorrow with my gyno and go from there. But thanks! :-D
Somehow I got lucky and got an appointment fast, but anyway, I went to the gyno and apparently I had a bit of my hymen left, so she thinks thats what was causing all the pain. So she got rid of it and told me to wait awhile to let everything heal and try again and if it still hurts then to go back and look into further stuff. So hopefully thats the cause! But can that really cause that much pain?
%-) %-) I am NOT a doctor, but I really don't agree with that diagnosis, BUT stranger things can happen, so we'll see if this works! As I stated, your brain is NOW on alert - which is your pain centre right? - and this is the area that needs to realize that it is fine! So fingers crossed! Good luck and please keep me updated OK?