Why is keeping my emotions and stress so difficult to manage?

For years I have been an anxious person. Socialy anxiety being king. I have a great boyfriend but sometimes I do not care if he is with me or not; I was treated badly in a previous relationship that I am still not over. I am pretty healthy however since money has gone out the window recently I do not eat as healthy. I will do my best to put my problems in a nutshell. Over 5 months ago i was diagnosed with HPV , I lost health insurance and was never told what kind I got.Also, UTI's are a common issue with me, they just never seem to go away noomatter what I do. It made me depressed and I drank ALOT more. I almost killed myself one night because I drank way too much alcohol. Eentually i stopped, and school started again so i went back to attended highschool & college. I am a high achiever in the academic world. It can be stressful. Also, I am engaged in extra carricular activities that require excersize - which I love. However, this makes me want to hide from everyone, because I LOVE people, but I hate them so much more. Life usually is wonderful so I do not think I should dwell, however, the constant worry of my health, mentally and physically, becoming more independant, and not feeling satisfied anough - ever - brings me down. All I would like to know is how to deal with it. BEcause sometimes, I just want to hide underneathe the ocean for eternity. (This could just be venting, too bad if your annoyed)