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Hi. I am 25 years old. I started cutting myself about a year back.I started it when i came abroad for work leaving my family and friends, also after filing for a divorce with my husband.I was very weak and depressed. And I feel like I am getting stronger each day after cutting.I feel like i can get over any mental pain by inflicting physical pain.

Sometimes I do it as if to punish myself. Sometimes I do it so that I will feel better and wont have to show the sorrow outside.I am always careful that i don.t cut too deep to get me killed.I usually cut my arms.I  am not proud of it.I don want anyone else to see it. For the first time yesterday I cut myself too deep, coz i was using this new blade. Now I am scared if i'll get myself killed someday

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Then stop! You said you are afraid of killing yourself, you can stop now and be happy. You need to realize that it may make you happy in the moment , but will only haunt you later on in life. CUTTING IS FOR THE WEAK. YOU CAN BE STRONG, by NOT CUTTING. Never look back on the sad moments in your life. It is a new year! Throw away that blade , and say goodbye to depression.

 

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS! GOOD LUCK:-D I BELIEVE YOU CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!

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I don't usually think about the past.Unless something happens in the present and all that happened before comes flashing in. I dont trust any relation now. I feel all my friends and every one i know and everyone who genuinely loves me, will leave me one day-not their fault coz thats life. I know it in my heart that I am going to end up alone. These bruises have become kind of a friend of mine. When the day goes bad, I wait to be back in my apartment to cut. If I dont do it, I am not able to sleep at night. Takes a lot of time to just fall asleep.

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Dying is apart of life, the people that love you WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU until it is their time. You have to let go for them to leave peacefully. Bruises and cuts are not firends, they HURT YOU. They are like bullies, once they hurt you there is no going back. But you can stick up for youself and say I QUIT! Then you can be free of scars forever....

Is there something folding you back from stopping?
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Actually It's been a year since i have filed for divorce..and now i am single again. I am in relation with this guy.I like him a lot, but I know it wont reach anywhere. Even if we get married I feel he's going to hate me someday or just something bad is going to happen and I am going to hate him. He is fine to get married and settle down with me, but I am not.

So I keep telling him to stay away from me before we get too attached. I tell him if we get too attached it will be difficult for us to part. Now whenever i feel that we are getting too close , I run back home and cut myself ,so that those scars n pain will remind me to stay away from him next time.

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I know the PROBLEM! YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES!

You are to afraid to show your true self. Your an amazing women, but you hide it because someone you love will like it. You have to trust people, so they can trust you! I want you to write down all your fears and secrets down on a piece of paper. Then burn it, let go of eveything. Divorce, cutting, anything you fear( getting attached). You are new now. This person you are dating wants to know you, its up to you now! Your ex can't hurt you! He is forgotten on that piece of paper.

You can't be afraid of bad things, it comes with life, you have to TAKE THEM HARD, and live with them. YOUR BF won't hate you until you do something bad. Which you haven't? Stop worrying!
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According to me i have not actually done  anything to hurt him. But I somehow convince him that he dosnt matter to me after-all, but in reality i like him a lot.Isay it in my mind that i love you more than my life and i dont wanna hurt u. But I never say it fearing it will make him so happy and we will too attached and in the end..we may have a fight or he might get married(which he should pretty soon , as his family is concerned)..

May be you are rite. I am scared of getting into any kind of relationship-even friendship.

 

I will definitely try burning the fear i have, in a piece of paper, only because you took the pain to reply to my messages.

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Just try it! Some people like it a lot, and it helps them!

GOOD LUCK!
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I could'nt do it..I completely forgot the fact that I live in an apartment with housemate..I cant burn anything..
But I dint cut myself yestrday..I got tired writing down my fears..and went to sleep..
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Good job! You will learn to stop cutting one step at a time
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I am 21 and have struggled with self harm since I was 8. I know what you're saying, I felt the same. It's a rough journey but you can do it. I started working out, eating better and if I feel down I rip up paper, draw cuts on myself instead of actually doing it, visulise myself cutting and it makes me feel good again. Since it is an issue a lot of teens go through they treat it differently where I live when you're an adult. When you are an adult and cutting they will put you in hospital, I suggest you get all your strength together and get help. Even if you call a help line when you are feeling tjat way, they can direct you on which way to go about getting help. But please do, I have a scarred up thigh and fore arms from it. It's not nice.
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I dont cut myself for past few days..i am fighting it like nything..but wenever somthing bad happens..only thing i really want to do is cut..I stayed awake yestrday whole nite..went for work..came bak to get some sleep..but i am not able to..i am having this head ache.

I feel pity on myself..

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Hi

I just now realised i made a big mistake..the guy I loved so much..is going to get engaged to another girl..I am so sad and scared..i miss him so much already..i pity myslef for not having the courage to say yes to have a life with him..

i dont noe y am i writing in this forum..i wanted to do somthing..i have this craving to cut now..dint noe wat else to do to deviate

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I don't know you, but hearing that scares me beyond belief. I hope you can find someone whom you trust that you can talk to, if not we're here for you.
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Thankful to u for taking the time to give a reply..
I never realised life was , like earth and history, a circle..that keeps taking you to the same things over n over again..
I have been through this pain before..I find myself proud to hav faced it..but now..i feel so weak..and helpless..
and i hate myself..for having myself go thru it again..
I wish i were stronger..but i am not..!!not anymore..i hav never loved nyone so much..and i never knew it until now..when i realised i have missed him!!..dat is so unfair ..
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