Hi,
I'm on day 9 of no subutex. I was addicted to vicodin for approx 2 years, then went on suboxone for another 2 years. Was then put on 8mg subutex for one year. My doctor seems to have no intention of ever letting me get off of this medicine, but due to financial and insurance issues, I had to make the jump on my own.
I've been lurking around for months, trying to find the best way to transition into a world without subutex. Day 1-3 were exceptionally hard for me, but I had planned the time away from work (weekend) and was able to still go into work that Monday at day 4. I somehow made it through 5 days of work last week, with each day being a little easier.
I'm beginning to have some problems now that I am not sure what I can do to heal myself faster. I'm taking womens daily, b-12 sublingual vitamins, setrolinehcl (zoloft) 200 mg, and I also take 30 mg of adderral for adhd. I cannot effectively take the adderral in the whole dose as I'm way too sensitive to it's effects now. I'm also trying to determine if it is adding to my withdraw symptoms that are causing me so much trouble.
My hands are trembling now. I cannot stop shaking and it's really bothering me. It is embarrassing as well. Not going away as fast as the serious wd symptoms did. I feel kind of like I have little needles being gently pricked throughout my body and I cannot sleep for anything. I've tried valerien root, but the capsule smell makes me so nausous, I cannot even swallow them. Melatonin, but it doesn't seem to do anything. Trazedone, it works but I feel the tolerance building and I do not have very many left, (no insurance). I bought ZzzQuill and it only makes me feel like I"m on some kind of icky trippy feeling.
My husband has been so incredibly wonderful by doing all of the cleaning, running errands, cooking, laundry. I want to help out, but I'm just SO DEPRESSED now. I'm wondering if I'm ever going to sleep again, if I'm ever going to be interested in the things I used to love, like gardening and walking on the beach. I'm just a lump on a log and want to find me again, but unlike before, each day seems to be a bit more disappointing for me because I still have this just yuck feeling.
My head is telling me to just continue getting through the days as best as I can. If i need to cry, then I cry, but going back to find more subutex to feel "normal" I don't think is even an option any longer.
Thank you for reading, and it's really not bad getting off of the subs. You just have to taper down to barely anything very slowly. I'm just having a really bad day and that is why most of the stories discussing how hard it is getting off of opiates exists instead of more positive ones. I am asking for guidance and advice from anyone who would like to share with me.
Thanks - LJ