10 Ways to Stop Making Yourself Miserable

Gluten-free diets, meat-free diets, the latest Android or iPhone, new religions, new exercise equipment, and the latest home health and beauty products all promise to make us happier. But some choices we make in the pursuit of our personal happiness tend to backfire. Many readers will find some items on this list controversial, but here are 10 things lots of people do to feel better that wind up making them feel bad.

1. Having lots of great sex with beautiful strangers.

Here's an activity billions of people fantasize about, going to bed with exquisitely attractive sexual partners. When 3,900 college students who lived out this fantasy were asked about it by social scientists at the California State University at Sacramento, the most sexually active were also found to be the most anxious and the most depressed. Defining casual sex as having intercourse with someone one has known for a week or less, the Cal State research team learned that about 11% of students had casual sex in any given month. Men were more likely to have had casual sex than women, but both men and women who had one night stands were anxious about them.

2. Winning the lottery.

Everybody who wins the lottery doesn't become miserable. One couple the writer of this article knows personally won $7 million in the Lotto, but kept their jobs, gave their first year's check to air condition their community's church, took on special needs children, and 20 years later seems content. But magazines and television shows are full of stories about lottery winners who ended up worse off after their winnings than before. Why? Money allows you to escape your problems, at least as long as your money lasts, but doesn't help you overcome them.

3. Going vegetarian.

Millions of people report new energy and better health after going vegan or vegetarian. Millions more just don't tell us that they once tried the vegetarian or vegan lifestyle and left it. A study of 4,000 vegetarians in Germany found that they were more likely than omnivores to suffer anxiety, depression, hypochondria, or body image dysphoric disorders (inability for instance, to look in a mirror, feeling fat or ugly all the time), and were twice as likely to be mentally ill. The study didn't reveal whether depressed people were more likely to become vegans or vegans were more likely to become depressed. And to be fair, the German word for "meat-free" doesn't include poultry, that is, German-speaking people may identify themselves as vegetarians even if they eat chicken or eggs.

Read More: What depression does to a person?

4. Not drinking in a drinking culture.

A study of 38,000 residents of Norway, a culture where hard drinking is the norm, found that teetotalers were especially likely to suffer depression. Since alcohol is a depressant, how can this be explained. In cultures where nearly everyone drinks, not drinking deprives someone of opportunities for social contact. As long as one is not waking up in a pool of vomit the next morning, controlled social drinking when one's family and friends drink is a plus for health.

Six More Odd Ways People Sabotage Their Own Health and Happiness

5. Religion.

Religion gives us hope in time of overwhelming sorrow. But at least one study has found that religion gives us sorry in times of hope. A study of conversions from religious to atheist and atheist to religious found that religious people tended to be more depressed, although the study was done in the European Union and Chile and may not apply to other countries.

6. Playing sports after childhood.

Kids like to play games. But by the time a young athlete is playing on an elite high school or college team, sports are all business. Student athletes have to study, do their very best on the playing field, and not let the team down. There is very seldom a break, and when there is positive attention, it's usually from a teammate or a "fan," keeping the athlete isolated from other social opportunities. Some athletes thrive on the challenge and attention, but many do not.

7. Shopping.

A recent study of 2,500 people in the Netherlands found that shopping creates a "loop of loneliness" in which the more people shopped, the lonelier they became, and the lonelier they became, the more they shopped. American studies have even found that families with incomes of over $159,000 per year are less happy than those who make less than $100,000 per year.

8. Listening to music, at least for teens.

A study at the University of Pittsburgh found that when teens read more, they are happier, and when they listen to more music, they are more depressed. For every hour a day that teens were plugged into their iPods listening to music, they were 80% more likely to suffer a major depressive disorder. One hour of music a day may be OK, but four or five are too much.

9. Socializing on the Internet.

Healthy people don't need to check their email, their Twitter feed, or their Facebook page every hour, or even every day. Sure, social media help us connect, but they also help us connect to angry idiots we wind up having to unfriend or block. Beyond two hours a day, socializing on the Internet should be replaced by socializing face to face.

Read More: 4 Myths About Happiness

10. (In the US) voting for Democrats.

Followers of the Democratic Party in the USA have to deal with lots of frustrations. Even when their candidates win their elections, the other side is absolutely devoted to thwarting their will. Democrats can get the feeling that they are victims, and they can let that feeling carry over into the rest of their lives. The Pew Polling Group has been reporting a "happiness gap" since the 1980's, and even Democratic politicians are in power, Democratic party members tend to be disgruntled. And when Democrats spend a large part of their lives following social media, they tend to antagonized most of the time.

What's the solution to all of these unfortunate choices for your emotional health, from winning the lottery to voting for the party of unhappy people? Don't let any choice you make in your life become the last word in your happiness. Go ahead and socialize on the net, vote for the candidate of your choice, and buy that Lotto ticket--but cultivate aspects of your life other than these ten to stay happy.