4 Myths About Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone has their own ideas about the best way to achieve that happiness. The thing is, though, that some of those ideas are simply wrong. What are the most common misconceptions about happiness? Find out, and you might just be one step closer to actually finding the secret to a happy and fulfilled life.

Your Happiness Is Predetermined by Genetics

Some people are just naturally happy and outgoing. They have social personalities, always seem to be in a good mood and just have an overall positive outlook on life. Then you have their counterparts... the grumpy people who are almost always in a bad mood, rarely laugh, and have an overall negative demeanor. No matter what's going well for them, these people always find something to complain about.

They are pessimistic and tend to thrive on the negative, unable to put a positive spin on things. It’s easy to assume that these people were just born with very different personalities, but this is not always the case.

Happiness is not a one-size fits all concept, and those who are happy or unhappy were not necessarily born that way. Genetics certainly can play a significant role in personality, as we see in siblings who are born in the same house, but turn out to have completely different interests, likes and personalities. Genetics, however, is not the end-all-be-all in the world of happiness.

Those people who naturally start out with a lower overall level of happiness may not ever transform into the likes of those naturally happy, positive people; but they can slide the notch up a few rungs on their own personal happiness scale. As with any other life goals, finding happiness and learning how to have a more positive outlook and therefore a happier life, takes time, patience and practice.

Your Happiness Will Come From Reaching Your Goal

The road to happiness is everlasting. Many people who are in search of happiness mistakenly believe that they will find it when they hit certain milestones in their life.

Sure, finally purchasing that new home that you’ve been saving for will make you happy, but it’s only a small drop in the bucket. Looking at the entire lifespan, that event that seems so significant now, will quickly be overshadowed by other life events and day to day living. The happiness that is derived from these life events is temporary, and will eventually fade into the distance. Relying on accomplishments and milestones to bring about happiness is rarely successful. 

The Negative is Stronger Than Positive

Many people believe that when it comes down to the battle of emotions, negative thinking is a stronger force than positive thinking. There has been some research to back up these beliefs. For example, when an individual loses a small sum of money, they tend to have a stronger reaction than if they won that same small amount. However, in the grand scheme of things, negative thoughts can almost always be edged out by consistent positive thinking. Initially, negativity can take center stage, stealing the spotlight from any positive thinking. This is because negativity generally brings fear, uncertainty, guilt, or anger along with it. These are all powerful emotions that can overpower the feelings of happiness that are much calmer in comparison.

The more you push for those positive feelings, the quicker they will take back the spotlight, and the easier it will be to do so.

You Have to Be Selfish to Be Happy

For some people, happiness is about fulfilling their own desires. But this is not the case for everyone. Many people find happiness in helping others. You don’t have to take a hedonistic approach to life in order to find happiness. Pleasurable experiences can be part of a happy life, but they certainly do not have to be the main purpose in one’s life. In fact, true happiness often lies in having a purpose.

Finding Your Happiness

Be Part of Something Bigger Than Yourself

Living a life that has meaning and purpose is a surefire way to find happiness. A purpose driven life brings about a sense of fulfillment and can leave one feeling more in control. In general, people with a purpose get more out of their daily experiences than those who just go through life blindly seeking meaningless happiness.

Having a purpose can have a very different meaning for different people, it is all a very personal experience. For some, purpose comes from being a parent, or a committed partner. For others, it can come from volunteering at animal shelters or foster programs. Others may find purpose in being part of their religious community, or pursuing a career that makes a difference in the world. It’s all about being part of something that is bigger than just you.

Make Personal Connections With Others

If you currently live a life of solitude, your first step on the road to happiness may be to get out and make some personal connections with others. The connections that you have with other people can be the core of happiness in your life. In general, individual who have strong relationships with others, as well as a broad social network, tend to live longer, healthier and happier lives than those who live a solitary life. Developing and maintaining relationships with others is important to your wellbeing. Some research studies even suggest that not having close connections with others can be detrimental to your health. A strong social support network appears to decrease the risk of obesity and heart disease, boost the immune system and reduce the risk of age-related mental decline.

Be Active

There is no denying that the mind-body connection is there, and it is strong. Taking care of your physical needs is not only good for your physical health, but it is beneficial for your mental state. When you get up and get active, your brain releases feel-good hormones that increase your happiness and create an overall sense of well-being. It can significantly help to reduce negative emotions and depression, and it releases endorphins that instantly elevate your mood.

Learn Something New

When you take up a new hobby or pick up an educational book, you are activating the learning center in your brain. When you learn something new, you are exposed to new thoughts and ideas, which keeps your brain engaged at a healthy level. The self-confidence that is derived from newfound knowledge can also booster positive feelings and increase happiness. Learning new things doesn’t mean enrolling in structured programs or classes. It can be as simple as reading a book, picking up a guitar, taking up a sport or being involved in new activities with friends.

Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself. In fact, trying to improve certain aspects of your personality can be beneficial in many ways. The problem comes in when people view themselves as always needing to improve, preventing them from ever being truly happy with who they are. When you focus on the negative and spend most of your time going over your flaws, you lose sight of your positive attributes. Everyone is a work in progress. To be happy, you need to focus on the positive traits that you have and try to expand on them, so they can encompass other areas of your personality. Instead of comparing yourself to the mother of 4 next door who seems to have it all figured out, focus on your best parenting qualities and take pride in them. You can continue to work on areas of your life that need improvement, just don’t lose focus on the positive attributes that you already have. Learn to love you for you, and the rest will fall into place.