Cellphone Calls And Parent-Teenager Relations

These days, it's almost unimaginable that parents of teenagers won't deal with constant pleas for new iPhones or need to pry their teen away from their screen every time they want to have a conversation. 

 

This is the age of the wireless technical world, after all. The cellphone is now a huge part of your teen's life, and communicating with your adolescent may seem to be impossible without it. A smartphone is a must-have toy these days, the Rubic’s Cube of the new millennium.  Well, it is a little better than that, but you get the point. Cellphones are as much a part of everyday life as is microwaves, zippers, and toilet paper. A cellphone is something that very nealrly each person takes with them wherever they go. It is something that can be utilized for communication, education, socialization, documentation, direction, recreation, and distraction.

One study conducted by the research organization IGR in 2011 found that 50 to 70% of teens ages 12 to 14 have a cellphone and the percentage is higher among those 15 and older. A large study conducted at the same time by senior research specialist Amanda Lenhart found that nearly 70 percent of teenagers conveyed that they spoke with their parent on the phone at least once a day. Today, in 2021, the number is much higher. Eighty-four percent of teenagers own smartphones, along with over half of those under 11.

A professor at California State University, Dr. Robert Weisskirch, surveyed 196 parent-teenager pairs. He found that the use of the cellphone increased positive communication between parents and teens, especially when the teen contacted the parent regarding social support.

 

The author stated that it was not surprising that a teen calling to “ask and confer” allowed for a better parent-teen relationship. More trust is created, after all, when the parent knows the teen will ask for permission before doing certain activities, whether they involve having a sleepover at a friend's house or going to a movie. There were more conflict and self-esteem issues when the parent called to “monitor” the teen regarding homework, whereabouts, or to verbalize that they were upset with the teen about something. Ms. Lenhart’s research found that frequent calls from parents who were worried or appeared anxious increased tension between the parent and teenager. Disciplining teens over the phone is not recommended by this specialist. This is where the cellphone turns into an electronic leash.

Dr. Weisskirch warned that the cellphone should not be used as a substitute for a real parent-child relationship. Face-to-face communication is still a necessary component of adolescent parenting. The phone should enhance parenting and assist the parent aid the teenager in making good decisions. Managing a cellphone plan can be a good way to teach your teen responsibility and help them learn about managing finances. Depending on the type of phone plan and technology of phone your teen has, the expense can be a problem for many middle class American families. Many parents are willing to afford the expense in exchange for the peace of mind that comes from the increased ability to maintain contact with their active teen.

Many psychologist and scientific research warn about the lack physical socialization that the technological wave of social networking and cellphone usage has brought about. While some enjoy active social lives, others feel lonely from the coldness that comes with this type of virtual communication that has replaced humanistic communication. The interpretation of messages can be altered when the tone of voice is missing. Words on a screen aren’t as comforting to some teens as the actual spoken words. Parents should remember to use the cellphone as an assistant to parenting, not a way to passive-aggressively communicate with their children.