Teaching Children the Real Names for Body Parts

Elementary schools all over the United States work for child safety through essential sex education at early ages. A typical session in a first grade class might unfold something like this: 

A sexual abuse prevention abuse specialist visits every class once a year. The children gather around the specialist on the floor while she explains the basic concepts of sexual safety, body rights, privacy, consent, and empathy. Then the visiting educator shows the class two dolls, one beige, one brown, each in its own diaper. 

"What body parts are the same," the visiting educator asks 25 wiggling six-year-olds.

"Nose! Eyes! Ears! Belly buttons! Toes!" the children shout out. "They both have penises!" another child answers.

"Do you really think so?" the teacher asks. "Does everyone have a penis?"

"Nooooooo," the class answers, feigning incredulity. "Girls have vaginas!"

Children Are Taught Anatomically Correct Terms From the First Grade, or Even Earlier

Visiting sex abuse prevention teachers teach the terms "penis" and "vagina" to hundreds of first graders each year. Most experts in the prevention of child exploitation believe that it is important to teach children standard vocabulary for body parts. Experts at the National Sexual Violence Prevention Center (NSVPC) believe that using these terms rather than more common variations like "wee-wee" and "tweenie" promote self-confidence, clear communication between children and parents, and positive body image. Should the unthinkable happen and criminal investigators need to talk with the child, the interview will go more quickly, and there will be less risk of miscommunication. The NSVPC also believes that children who can use adult terminology for their private parts are less likely to be abused by predators.

Not All Parents Like Sex Education in Elementary School

Many parents, not unexpectedly, are not in favor of sex education in elementary school. In 2013 Dietrich, Idaho teacher Tim McDaniel used the word "vagina" in a high school biology class. Despite the fact that the students in his class had had vaginas for 14 or 15 years, four parents filed a complaint and his school placed him under investigation. The case went to the state ethics commission. McDaniel's backers created a Facebook page, “Save The Science Teacher,” which received about 700 likes, even though the school was in a tiny town of only 300 people. McDaniel was exonerated by the ethics review (he had also shown his class the Al Gore film "An Inconvenient Truth"), but he was forced to stop attending church and basketball games.

READ Keeping Kids Safe From Sexual Predators - And Criminal Activity - On The Internet

McDaniel's case is hardly unique. A sexual-abuse prevention instructor in New England reports that a family pulled their first grader out of school after he learned the term "penis." The mother of the child screamed at the teacher "You have stolen my child's innocence!" And even among adults, using anatomically correct language can result in penalties. Michigan State Representative Lisa Brown was banned from the statehouse floor for using the term "vagina." She later explained to the press ""If they are going to legislate my anatomy, I see no reason why I cannot mention it."

Why It's Important to Use Anatomically Correct Terms Even When Some Don't Like Them

Despite prudishness around the use of biological terms for reproductive organs, there is real evidence that using clear language to describe them is essential for protecting children. Many of the 55 million American children who attend school don't come home to a stable, loving, nourishing environment. The statistics of child abuse are shocking:

• Ten percent of children will experience inappropriate sexual contact or sexual language from teachers, coaches, or other school employees.
• Thirty-four percent of children will experience inappropriate sexual contact or sexual language from a family member.
• Approximately 350,000 children in any given year are raped in a school or family setting.

In unraveling the long history of sexual abuse in the 360 parochial schools of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston, involving 210,000 children, investigators found certain patterns in the schools where the greatest numbers of children were molested:

• Puritanical school administrators, who would not allow any discussion of sex, led the schools that had the greatest number of abuse cases.
• Abused children are usually taught to be obedient to authority. Teaching correct terms for sex organs helps those children feel "right" while reporting the wrongs done to them.
• Childish language helps perpetuate a culture of secrecy, in which assaults cannot even be described. 
• Children whose families use colloquial terms for sex organs tend to have very little information about what sex is, or what about what sexual assault is.

Sex abuse investigator Dr. Anthony Rizzuto reports that the issue of appropriate language came up in nearly investigation of the 210,000 cases of child abuse in the archdiocese. Children who were able to use accurate terms for the places where they were touched and how they were touched were able to give church and police investigators precise information that can be used in the "innocent until proven guilty" constraints of criminal investigation. When children had been taught correct terminology, more of them went to teachers and parents to report problems.

READ What Every Parent Should Know About Sexual Abuse

Sex-abuse prevention educators want children to know that their private parts are just that, private. However, they also want children to feel free to talk about them. It's important that children feel that they won't get in trouble for asking questions about sexual relationships and sexual health, and they won't get in trouble for asking the questions they need to ask to recognize sexual abuse. When their friend is removed from a classroom because he learned the term "penis," or their teacher is put under investigation for using the term "vagina," the message to children is that they need to keep quiet, or at least to be vague. When children are afraid their comments will get them into trouble, they shut down communication. This reinforces a culture of secrets that gives sexual perpetrators cover. Accurate terms that are taught systematically are an important part of keeping children safe from the adults who would abuse them.