Relationships: How We Copy Our Partners

Learning Each Other's Bad Habits

In a relationship, we tend to find that our habits and patterns begin to mirror those of our partners. If we have a partner who drinks a lot, we usually begin to drink more. If our partner is insomniac we report worse sleep - partly because we’re kept awake by the wakeful partner, but partly because we tend to mirror their insomnia-producing behaviour. Where people drink not to celebrate, but to cope, this can be a vicious circle too: relationship problems are one of the main reasons people drink more, but being less in control and more likely to act out or say things we might normally find a way to express better can lead to more relationship problems, again creating a vicious circle.

What Marriage Does To Your Blood Pressure

It’s tempting to be either comically cynical and expect that it drives your blood pressure through the roof, or to be romantic and say it probably lowers it. Actually, it’s both. It’s not about whether you’re married but what kind of marriage you have. Happily married people have significantly lower blood pressure than single people. But unhappily married people have elevated blood pressure compared to single people. Being in an unhealthy relationship leads to increased stress and over time, that tips the body towards higher blood pressure.

Major Health Problems

More intangibly, being married is associated with better post-operative outcomes for heart surgeries, as well as with a lower rate of heart problems. This effect is especially strong in men, perhaps because men often have fewer friends than women and because male friendships typically feature less supportive talking and touching than female friendships. It’s thought to be the emotional support that makes marriage conducive to better heart health.

See Also: Can You Really Believe Research on Americans' Love Lives?

In The Mood

A final consideration could be depression and anxiety. In both cases (and they’re often found together anyway), it’s a question of what kind of relationship you have. A caring long-term relationship can reduce symptoms of depression in people with a history of the disease and it’s good for anxiety sufferers too. If you’re in a conflict-ridden, insecure relationship, though, you’re more likely to find that the risk of clinical depression increases rather than decreases.

If you think I’ve hit the nail on the head, or if you have something to add, get in touch in the comments section below.