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Hi everyone,

I need some advice and I need it fast. I feel like my relationship is going to end soon if I don't do something about it and I really don't know what to do. The thing is, I am suffering from anxiety and in the beginning it was okay because I was kind of trying to hide it. But now that it is pretty obvious, I think that my boyfriend is going to leave me and I understand him, my anxiety is really ruining our relationship. Please tell me what can I do about this, how can I make things better.

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Anxiety is tough when it comes to handling a relationship. There have to be some techniques which can help you sustain your anxiety, especially in a relationship.

If I were you, I would go and talk to a psychologist, you know, seek professional help. He will know what to do, he has to, it is his job. All you have to do then is follow his instructions and you should be okay. However, don't think that this is going to be easy because it won't. Fighting anxiety takes a lot of time and patience, just don't give up, you can do it!

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You need to learn how to cope with your anxiety. Psychologist is a good idea, but he is just going to tell you what we are telling you here, although he will also help you do these things that we are talking about.

First you should notice when are you getting an anxiety attack. Then you should try and remain calm and figure out what triggered your anxiety attack. Then you should see how are you behaving when this happens. You should make some sort of an anxiety diary and write down what triggered your anxiety attacks and how did you feel back then.

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Sometimes it is better to put a pause on your relationship rather than trying to be in a relationship while suffering from anxiety. I am telling you this because of my own experience.

If you are determined to fight anxiety, it is a wise move to tell your partner to take a break from your relationship until you fix yourself. If you don't do this and you stay in a relationship, it is most likely that you two are going to separate in a really bad way and you won't be able to fix what happened after you get rid of your anxiety.

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I think that you are right. I want to fix myself badly but it doesn't get to be that easy. But again, I cannot be that selfish to hurt the one that I like, the one that is dating me and putting up with everything that I do (I am in a really bad mood most of the time and he is okay with that, he is always there to comfort me).

I am going to make a pause like you said, I will distance myself from him until I get over my anxiety and until I am ready to have a normal and a healthy relationship.
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I was not able to control my relationship when I had problems with anxiety. I know, it was not his fault, but I was telling him that everything is his fault, that we can't be good together because of him. Next day, I just don't want to answer on the phone when he is calling because anxiety is killing me and I don't know what to do, what to tell him or how I feel. I don't know what is the cure, I really don't know what to do to stop anxiety. I do know that anxiety destroyed my last three relationships and I really don't know what to do about it. I went to see doctor, I was talking to good people who could help me - and nothing.

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Good day everyone.

Well, you can actually prevent anxiety from destroying your relationship. Yes, you can! But you need to have your partner by your side, he or she needs to understand that you are not very well and your partner needs to know what you are dealing with.

You should ask him or her for patience, understanding, and for anything reasonable you think might help you deal with this issue, that is not that easy at all. Also, you need to remember that people are not psychic and you can’t assume that other people know what you’re thinking or what you want from them. So, you need to talk to your partner and let him or her know how you feel. 

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Is there a cure for it? Because I believed that there isn't any. OK, maybe it was my fault for my last two relationships, because I was really mean to my boyfriends because I was not able to deal with anxiety. But for my first relationship that ended because of anxiety - it is not my fault and I can say that I am sure about it. That boyfriend didn't understand me, he didn't understand what am I going through at all so he dumped me. I believed that no one can't understand it, so I started to be me! I didn't wanted to explain them that I am sick or that I have some mental issues. I was trying to cope with it, but I was not able. And I can guarantee that you can't deal with it. At all.

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Well, dear Guest. You are making a huge mistake. I mean, how you can expect someone to treat you good if you don't tell him what was your main problem? Yes, you need to tell them that you are dealing with some mental issues, but that is nothing that a big deal that someone can't understand. Just because you haven't found a support from your ex - boyfriend, doesn't mean that no one can't understand you.

In this case, your boyfriend can't think that he is trapped in the relationship and you should let him know what is your problem. Remember, talking to someone, letting someone to be there for you is the cure. 

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