Skirts For Boys: The Pros And Cons

Reasons To Allow Your Son To Wear Skirts

Refusing to let your son wear a skirt if that is what he really wants can give him the message that his wishes are unacceptable, and that he himself is therefore also unacceptable, some forum moms thought. “My son might be bullied by others for liking what he does, but I will not be the one bullying him”, one said.

Others thought the message that you don't need to conform just because you might otherwise make some people feel uncomfortable is essential. A skirt is only a piece of clothing, but disallowing your son to wear one may make him feel that he must put other people's feelings before his own.

One mom pointed out that it's no big deal for girls to wear what is considered to be boy's clothing — like soccer shirts and Superman capes. If we don't believe in strict gender divisions any more, why on earth would it be so controversial for a boy to wear a skirt? Does he really have to be Scottish to wear a "skirt"?

I'll add one more thought to this general drift. Could it be that it's acceptable for girls to wear boy's clothing — but not the other way round — because even western culture is still rather patriarchal, albeit in a somewhat concealed manner? Boys are (often subconsciously, no doubt) seen as more valuable, so it's fine for a girl to aspire to be "more", while it's not OK for boys to stoop down to the level of a girl or (perhaps worse) a gay male? That is not the kind of message I want to send my boy, even if it's happening subconsciously without either of us ever reading that much into it.

Parents who believe in self-expression and learning from experience can simply take the route of allowing their sons to wear a skirt, and letting him decide whether he wants to continue after he has come face to face with the inevitable weird comments. However, you should keep in mind that the weird comments may persist long after the skirt comes off before you go this route.

The Naysayers' Side

“He can try it on and have fun with it for a minute, but then I'll say he has to give it back to his sister”, one mom said. Another was in favor of the “at home, but not in public” approach. Many of those who would not allow their sons to wear skirts at all, or not outside of the home, were conservative Christians who believe that males should stick to male clothing, and females to female clothing. (Which causes me to wonder what's really female or male, since anyone who's fond of historical dramas knows that from west to east, and from north to south, plenty of men historically wore both items of clothing resembling skirts rather a bit, and high heels.)

Many others did not offer up any explanation as to why they would tell their sons to stick to pants, though. These people were simply happy maintaining the societal status quo, and clearly just thought that skirts are for girls and not for boys — just as a necktie is for boys and not girls.

These moms did not have an inherent problem with skirts for boys, but were afraid that they might get bullied by kids at their preschool or taunted by adults who did not agree with boys wearing skirts. They felt that any parenting decision requires weighing the pros and the cons, and that the pleasure of wearing a skirt was not worth the risk of receiving negative reactions.

“If he still thinks it's a big deal when he is older”, my progressive forum friend said, “I have no problem if he wants to wear skirts. But my older son is 11, and he no longer expresses an interest in wearing dresses or skirts”. She concluded that she wished the world wouldn't make a fuss about these things, but that she lives in the world that exists, and not the world she wishes could exist.

What do you think? Would you allow your son to wear a skirt? If so, would you restrict skirt-wearing to the house, or would you allow him out what is considered to be girl's clothing?