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I'm 19, about 2 months pregnant and I'm torn with what to do. My boyfriend wants me to terminate the pregnancy but I would never thing of doing such a thing (not religious reasons). We had an argument about it about a year and a half ago so he knew what I would do which is keep it. Should I really have to think about terminating it just so I don't screw up his life? I really don't care if I have him involved at this point because I don't want to terminate it. Any advice would be great.

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Please don't have an abortion. You sound as though you decided what you would want do long before you became pregnant, possibly before you even met your boyfriend. I think you would really regret it, especially if you are considering doing it just for him. Think of it this way-is it worth ending a life, just to prevent him from having a bad mark on his record? Your baby probably would say no if s/he could talk.
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the only way i could agree to go through with terminating it is because i've had two years of student loans that i have to start paying back soon and won't have the money to take care of it, he doesn't want me to ruin my future.
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Thats his "excuse" he has to give u support legally regardless and i am sure its his future he is "thinking" of....Dont "terminate" unless YOU absolutely WANT to because its you and you alone that will ultimately have to live with your decision- There are a LOT of programs that can assist you out there and student loans can be easily repaid with a baby- millions upon millions do it all the time- including me- let us know what your final decision is
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He's "not ready to be a father." He has places he wants to go, things he wants to do (school to finish, which he could still do). I understand that things change, they don't always work out the way you want them do but he isn't going to accept that so that's why I'm going to end up having to get rid of it. I keep thinking if I do go about terminating it that I won't be able to go through with it. I only have my boyfriend to talk to about the matter because I don't want anyone else to know especially if I end up terminating it. I keep saying terminate like doctors, i guess it sounds better than abortion to me.
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do me a favor and read my story on the next post...the 15 dpo can I get an abortion (or terminate) i forget- I considered doing it too and I couldnt be happier that i kept my son- the biological man i left and has nothing to do with him and thats its fine with me (at your age i doubt this will be the man you'll marry either) If you think you even might regret it DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Adoption is a great option you can always change your mind up until a few days after birt and you get all medical and living expenses paid for and some agencies even give college money away...just consider it...if you want to talk privately let me know and I will PM you my info goodluck do whats best for U not him
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Another problem is that if I were to have it he would want to be involved. I couldn't give it up for adoption, couldn't even dream of my own flesh and blood being brought up by someone else and not knowing who its real parents are. Since I am thinking more of how to keep it then not I've started getting anxiety about if someone is wrong with it and I have it and can't provide for it.
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such is life-common motherhood worry chances are pretty darn good that the baby will be perfectly healthy...the younger you are the better. There are a lot of resources out there to help you provide for a child and there are a lot of couples out there more than willing to do an open adoption. I just wanted you to know that if you even think you might want to stay pregnant its more than possiable....If he wants to be involved if you choose to keep it than i personally dont understand the whole wanting to abort thing...I realize now that i guess i am prolife unless in cases of rape or incest and i personally feel that a baby has their soul soon as the heart starts beating so ill say no more- its your decision and one that you will live with either way- if its indeed what you want it can and will be done and once your child is in your arms you wont understand how you ever lived w/out them....if you choose to abort you might be haunted you might not...only you can answer that question- i have a lot of friends who have had babies younger and in worse financial situations than you and still paid their bills, finished degrees, and live good lives so its possiable, very possiable- i was always told "if you wait for the "right" time it will never happen" and i believe that, there will always be a reason to hold off and there will also always be a way
good luck w/your decision and I honestly hope you choose whats right for you
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I don't even know if I"m going to be able to make my own decision on this, I went to the doctor today to tell him I was going to terminate it, boyfriend in tow to do this. Doctor didn't think that it would be best since I really don't want to do that. Then when we came out of the office, my boyfriend says something shocking, something like its your decision, i don't know something that made me feel like if I wanted to keep it I could and now he's right back to get rid of it. I've become depressed over this whole thing, I could really tell today/tonight, I don't feel like doing anything, all I can do is think.
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ugh...i am trying not to preach...i want to be a non-biased supporter but in your case i just can't help it...because to me, it does sound like you would be one of the girls that come back on here after having an abortion talking about how much you regret it and how depressed you are. Do you realize how many men want their women to get abortions and completely do a 360 once the child is here? I am not saying this will be the case with yours but it is possiable (just like having this baby is possiable) Men don't connect with their children the way that women do until there are tangiable beings...but to you they already are....you already have a baby with a beating heart growing inside of you....And as someone who has has a miscarriage in the past AND had a perfectly healthy 2 month old infant pass away all I can say is losing a child is THE hardest thing a person could ever experiance and the chances of your relationship surviving an abortion statisically isvery small, you could
both end up blaming each other once reality starts to hit. WIll you be able to deal with seeing pregnant women that are where you are supposed to be afterwards or will you be able to see babies that are the age that yours would be a year or so for now? That is one of the many questions you should be asking yourself and as i said before- Ultimately, it will be YOU that has to deal with the consequences...Its your body, its your hormones..he/she is part of you. Granted, part of your BF too but just because he is experianceing the common fear men experiance when faced with fatherhood doesn't mean hes not going to be utterly happy with the task and it shouldnt be your sole reason for aborting....If it is I promise you will regret it. I will continue having you in my thoughts and prayers and I whole-heartedly hope you come to the decision that is best for YOU... I still think you should at least consider adoption, with that you and your BF can always change your mind and with an open adoption your child will know you as their "birth mother" (i personally prefer "natural" know from the start that you gave them life and a good family because you loved him/her and you can choose to get updates or possiably even be in the childs life to a certain extent (There are a LOT of good couples perfectly willing to even allow visits sort of making you an extension of the family- which in my opinion is a great way to help your child understand that he/she is loved SO much that they have a mommy, daddy AND "birth mommy"
Again. just my opinions and like I said before if you were to choose adoption you can even get money for college. Whatever you decide things WILL work out- They always do. The resources for moms are limitless- my husband and I have had to take advantage of quite a few of them after I got injured at work and he in a car accident...our son NEVER went without- all our bills were paid (including my student loans) and now we are both back to work we have more than enough to provide for our family...What i am saying is: things will always happen, but, there is always a way --- Money is not a reason to give up on something your heart desires. If you decide to parent and need assistance finding these "resources" let me know and I will PM you...or if you just need to talk. I promise to be non-biased if abortion is what you decideis best. GOOD LUCK and take care
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Update!!--boyfriend (fiance as of last week) came around, got over the shock of the pregnancy about a week after this poll, understood where i was coming from and we now have a beautiful little girl. He regrets having even thought about terminating it (since letting me keep her without a fight about terminating so he was find throughout the rest of the pregnancy) he loves his little girl, its cute. Love my family :-)
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