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I had an abortion around 5 months ago, I am not coping with it at all. I didn't want to have the abortion and I feel destroyed. I am in so much pain, I feel like part of me has died and I am struggling to deal with my emotions from this experience. I am still with ym partner, though I am far to lost to remain stable in my relationship. Some of me wants to die and be with my dead baby, I can't forgive myself and don't deserve anything good. My dontor said 'it was right for the circumstances', but this doesn't change the loss and devastation I am feeling from this experience.Nothing eases the pain, and if I went to sleep and never woke up again, then I care not at present...

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I found out this past week that I am about 9 weeks pregnant. I am 22, my boyfriend and I live together but we come from very old fashioned families. I know that we would have plenty of money to raise this child, he makes about 50k a year, so why am I on a constant rollercoaster of should I or should I not have this baby?! It is frustrating for me and for my boyfriend who doesn't know how to support me emotionally anymore, because at one moment I think terminating the pregnancy is the best thing for us, and at the next I want to keep it and am looking up baby stuff to buy. What is wrong with me! If I have any doubts about abortion I shouldn't do it right? Thanks for your help.
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To the original poster: I'm so sorry you were pressured into having an abortion. I think to get you through this, you need to go see a therapist. You can't continue thinking day by day suicidally. Medicine can help until time has passed and you feel differently. I think the common phrase used for suicidal people is to remember that you did not always feel this way, and you won't always feel this way. You just have to let time heal you, and for now, get yourself some help.

For the second poster:
Any planned parenthood has counceling to help with your decision. If you feel that maybe they'll be biased and try to force you to abort, call a therapist and talk to him/her for a couple of weeks. It may really help to have someone impartial to bounce your worries off of. You don't want to make a decision you'll regret, one way or the other.
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