Hello. I'm 18 years old and recently got pregnant but made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. My decision was made due to the fact that I am only 18, have no way to financial support a child, and did not want to put my own life on hold. For weeks after my missed period I was in deep denial that I was pregnant and even told myself that the tests I took weren't accurate. I took 2 pregnancy tests each a week apart and they both came out positive. After accepting that I was indeed pregnant, I decided to tell my friend whom the baby belonged to and he was very supportive. He said that he was going to be there for me no matter what and that I didn't need to worry. We agreed that terminating the pregnancy would be the best for us. But with my work schedule and his very different from each other, we didn't find any days where we could both go together to see a doctor. I eventually waited 9 weeks until having an emotional breakdown about feeling so sick and not doing anything about still being pregnant. I eventually got help from my aunt who had been through a couple abortions and was able to help me. I had to go through with the surgical abortion because I was 10 weeks along. It happens yesterday so today would be my second day of not being pregnant anymore and as I've started to take in what happened, I feel very lost and sad. I keep reminding myself that the decision I made was the best for myself but another part of me wishes I hadn't ended the pregnancy. I almost wish that I could see my baby. And it's really hard feeling that way. I'm trying not to lose myself through this process but I don't feel like I can tell anyone I know how I really feel. Not even my friend. I miss being pregnant despite how sick I felt sometimes and all the other little symptoms that came along with it. It wasn't so bad in the end and I keep thinking about how different it feels now not being pregnant anymore and all of a sudden. I'm just really lost right now.