i had gotten my pregnancy terminated around dec.23, 2012. i was around 16 weeks. it was both my, and my boyfriend of four years, decisions to go along with it. we were both 100% sure that it would be for the best given our situation at the time. i felt guilty, but i knew it was absolutely for the best. however, i wasnt overwhelmed with guilt for long. instead, i began to despise myself more and more, without realizing it right away. i dont feel good enough for my boyfriend, or anyone. i hate my appearance, and becamw extremely self conscious. to the point where i wouldnt wear a bathing suit this summer. and i cant bring myself to engage in any sexual activities at all. this is to my boyfriends displeasure. i wont hardly let him touch me at this point. he doesnt understand, and it is becoming a huge problem in our relationship. how can i be myself againk? i know it was for the best, and it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. but i just am not the same anymore. its caused me to be even more depressed as well. any advice is appreciated thank you.
See a grief counselor.
You say you felt guilty, why? Talk out those feelings with the counselor. You can't really do that with anyone that you're close to. It's OK to feel guilt, or despise yourself, but often there are underlying feelings that you, yourself, can't understand.
Your boyfriend may not understand. He may have his own grief, we don't know. Encourage him to talk to someone as well.
Please consider talking to someone you trust, like a counselor. Are you a student? Many schools have free, confidential counseling services for their students. If you aren't a student, consider looking for other counseling options. The opportunity to share you feelings with another is very freeing and can be very healing.