Like we moved a few months ago, and everyone at school has known each other forever and been friends forever so I don't fit in at all. I don't get why she couldn't have at least wait till I was done grade 8, but no! And everyone is so stuck up and fake I hate it. I just really want to go back "home!" Like I still have my old friends I talk to on Facebook but its not the same, and I'm missing out on so much, and I don't know all that goes on so its hard to keep up. We moved to be closer to my moms stupid boyfriend. I don't know, like just partying. Like my mom is never home so I just leave and go anywhere I can because whats the point in being home alone all the time? And its good just to have fun and get away.
Loading...
Oh and whats MST? Like its 9:14 where I live now, so what time is it where you are? lol
Loading...
It's 7:51 pm so that means I am 2 hours behind you!
Is your dad still in the picture? And what did your mom say when you didn't want to leave? Also how does the boyfriend treat you?
Loading...
ok good to know.
Well she clearly didn't care because we moved anyway. I just don't like him, I don't need him and I don't want him! He ruined my life! He doesn't care about me, and complains about me, and took my mom away from me.
Well she clearly didn't care because we moved anyway. I just don't like him, I don't need him and I don't want him! He ruined my life! He doesn't care about me, and complains about me, and took my mom away from me.
Loading...
This is NOT to sound a strike at you, BUT you need to know that adults do STUPID things, and a lot of the time things that others don't understand! And I PROMISE you that your moms boyfriend didn't take your mom away - she needed a place to "Go" and sometimes when a woman doesn't love herself enough, or is desperate for some help, they WILL pack up and just leave and be with them!
I had a pretty CRAPPY childhood - a LOT of violence, NO LOVE, just REALLY horrible! And see my parents act like wild animals, and my mother would beat me within an inch of my life and say THE WORST thigs to me that ANYONE could do! And I WISH that I had stood up to her and said "You know what mom, you LOVE to say you wish I was dead etc. Do you also know that this is ALSO what I iwsh!? I WISH I had a voice back then and told her totally what I was thinking! And I think - after we talk a bit more - that you need to have lunch with your mom, or see her out of the house! And say HOW you feel!
What happened to your dad?
Loading...
But hes the one that kept wanting her to move, why couldn't he move? Why did we have to move? And shes always with him all the time at his house and I never really see her anymore. And we fight all the time now and she doesn't care about me anymore. No one cares about me anymore. I hate him and I hate my mom.
Loading...
So she moved away for really no commitment? Is there any family that could take you in - back in your hometown? MANY children do this - they go and live with old friends of family members!
Loading...
I don't know. But my mom wouldn't let me anyway. I just want her back and I just want to go back home. :'(
Loading...
Have you told her that honey? Actually I think you should write it out to her! I recently wrote my eldest son a letter about how I missed him, and his ignoring me or being rude was REALLY hurting me! And it seemed to strike a cord with him! I'm not saying that kids should rule their parents life! BUT your mom probably thought that you would adjust over time - and perhaps she really doesn't want to know (in her heart)- that you are so DOWN about HER decision! When we are parents all we want to do its be better parents than our parents, and we want to prove to ourselves and others that we are a GREAT parent who is making great decisions, and bringing up children who are happy and settled! And I am sure your mom is the same, and just doesn't want to think about "failing"! She wants happiness in her own life - thus following her boyfriend! BUT her biggest happiness would be from you being happy! And I have a feeling that is why she is gone so much - she already knows that sense of you being sad! BUT I think she needs to know just how sad you really are!
Just speaking from my point of view - which is a bit one sided (due to my upbringing) - but even my own happiness doesn't come before my children! That is the other end of the spectrum and NOT healthy for a relationship! But I just can't help it, whatever my children wanted and needed I would go without to give it to them! And I am the ONLY one of all of my friends that is this extreme! So there has to be a balance here - between me on one side and your mom on the other! She deserves to be happy just like you do, BUT it can't be at the expense of one another! So write down ALL that you feel and leave it for her or mail it too her! Tell her you miss her honey! She needs to know that she also has someone hat home that is needing love and willing to offer love! I know you think a mother should know that! BUT there are many factors why people feel the way they do! And we ALL need to hear it once in awhile don't we?
Loading...
No I haven't really told her because she gets mad at me when I bring it up and she just thinks it because I don't like her boyfriend and stuff, and I don't, but she doesn't get it. She doesn't get how shes never home anymore. She doesn't care about me anymore and I don't know why. Like what have I done? Why doesn't anyone want me anymore? What is wrong with me? I don't get it. You know there was one time where I didn't care and didn't try and hide my cuts, and I had my arm out the whole time on the table while we ate dinner and she didn't even say anything to me, she didn't even notice! And the next day after I tried to OD and was really sick, she just thought I had the stomach flu. And do you know how many times I go out and don't come home till late? Or how many times I miss school? She doesn't even care to know!
And she knows how badly I didn't want to move, I went kicking and screaming! And she knows why, but she doesn't care!
I guess I will tell you why. You asked about my dad, well when I was 12, my dad just up and left. Like I came home from school one day, and all his stuff was gone, like everything. I didn't get it, I don't get it. And I called my mom and she came home and i cant write anymore
And she knows how badly I didn't want to move, I went kicking and screaming! And she knows why, but she doesn't care!
I guess I will tell you why. You asked about my dad, well when I was 12, my dad just up and left. Like I came home from school one day, and all his stuff was gone, like everything. I didn't get it, I don't get it. And I called my mom and she came home and i cant write anymore
Loading...
I'm sorry honey! Sometimes parents are VERY selfish, and just focus on their happiness! Where you lived before do you have family members there? Or a good friend? We brought a friend of my oldest son down to live with us, it was a pretty bad situation - mom caring more about her new husband and HIS children over her own! I don't know your mom, so I'm not trying to speculate or say the wrong thing! BUT what my sons friend did was started talking to my son - and then to me - and we decided to put forward about him coming to stay with us! It took a bit of stroking HER ego, BUT it eventually worked and he came and lived with us and we had guardianship! So that is why I am wondering if there is anyone in your last place to talk too - seriously - ? You have been crying out for help to your mom, and she is SO enthralled with her own happiness, that she is not seeing your despair! So we are going to take care of YOU! And this is what I want you to do, I want you to write down who could be there for you and start talking to them! I think if you have a plan - then your mom will realize it's not just you talking it's others too! It's not about calling her bluff, it's about making plans for your own happiness and future!
Loading...
My moms sister and my grandma live there but I don't know. But I don't think I can still go to my old school because they don't live around my neighborhood. And my aunt thought my mom needed a move. My friends live there. But I just want to go back and live in my old house. Like what if my dad comes back? Or what if he writes me a letter? He's not gonna know where I am anymore. What if he can't find me? What if he tried too? How am I going to know?
Loading...
Your aunt and your grandma live there honey, they know how to get ahold of you! And with the internet etc. he WILL be able to find you! So don't worry! How is your mom's relationship with her sister and her mother? I have a theory about it!
Loading...
The reason why I am asking is that there is usually a pattern of relationships - such as your mother and her sister and mother, IF it is a good relationship - open and caring - then she is more likely to have that with you! BUT if she has always been distant with them, and they critisize her for poor choices etc. Then she would be more likely to distance herself between them AND you! My mother was like that, and we HATED each other, and when I saw her interact between my grandmother and my aunt, and then know that she moved ALL of us 4,000 miles away from them. I realized that she wasn't the kind of person to have a relationship with certain people!
As adults there are 3 points of view - your mums, your dads, and the actual events! The only person that can tell you SOME of why your dad left is your mom! And as you get older she should be more open with you about that! It was NOT about you honey - NEVER is - it is usually that the couples are SO unhappy they stop looking around or down - at the child that is hurting from all of this! Ask your mom and then IF she doesn't give you the right answer then say "I would like to get ahold of him" And see how she handles it! Just tell her, that you CAN'T take this anymore - and REALLY hate it here!
IF there is one thing I wish I had done, when I was your age, was to point out my mothers faults! I wish I had said stuff like "WOW, you must really hate me to say those horrible things" or "WOW mother of the year ladies and gentlemen!" Even though I would have had more of a beating, at least I would have made her feel like c**p! I'm not saying for you to be rude - as I wanted to be - BUT you are coming up to be an adult, I TRULY think it's time for you to find your voice, and REALLY lay it out! Show her your scars and say "You didn't even notice these did you?" and say "You spend more time away from the house, and you weren't even aware that I am in pain and am SO lonely and depressed and have thought about killing myself more than once! Do you have ANY idea how much I HATE it hear, and dislike your boyfriend? Also since when does a boyfriend come ahead of your own child?" Just really put it out there honey! I think it's time to take away the curtain of secrecy and trying to be noticed, and just put it in her face!
Do you know that in Britain you are NOT allowed to leave your child alone till after he/she is 16!? And the way I see it is your mom has been SO selfish she is putting her own needs ahead of her duty as a mother! I do believe that your mom has a right to happiness and her own life! and that is what your grandma was talking about! I have a feeling that your mom has been lonely and unhappy for a LONG time and is just trying to find some happiness! And her boyfriend might be a really nice guy, but you are looking at him like the enemy and HATE HIM for the upheaval in your life!
IF that is the case - between your mom and her boyfriend - that is fine for her! BUT she also needs to have a balance between the 2 of you! I don't think you would resent him so much, if your mom was to spend equal or more time with you! And not leave you alone so much! So really look at their relatiosnhip - is your mom really happy with him? IF so then a balance has to be made here!
Loading...