Can't cope after abortion

Hi Zique, You will get no negative feedback from me, i understand how your feeling. I'm sorry you had to go thru that, it's bad. The first thing that you may want to do is to reach out to someone for support, other than your boyfriend. His intention's are all in the right place, but you sound like you may need a little professional therapy. Contact your doctor and aski him/her to give you the name's of some counselor's who specialize in the after affect's of termination's. There are people out there who are educated and trained in this tender subject matter.

I have been in the same boat that you are in right now, so i know how your feeling. You will get thru this, tho it will take some time. I am amazed how some women can have this procedure done and act like nothing ever happened. The only thing that worries them is when they can have sex again. Or the one's that have had 2 and 3 procedure's in a row and are still worried about when they can resume their sex life. Disgusting if you ask me.

Your hormone's are still out of wack and your body may still it's pregnant, you may be having some seriou's mood swing's because of that. Take it one day at a time and don't push yourself. Keep focused and know that the decision that you made was made for your own good. Don't beat yourself up and stop punishing yourself, you will drive yourself nut's if you continue. It's only been a week, that is not a long time ago. You made this decision for a reason, a reason that is totally your business. Watch the depression, it can cripple you in way's you never thought possible. Again...i strongly suggest that you talk to a professional. You did nothing wrong. Good luck to you and i am here if you would like to talk.

Thanks bbfeet9. After the procedure they put you in a recovery room with all the other women. Some of them were talking on the phone and acting as if they just had a check up or a shot given. I was so shakened up. I kept telling myself I am never doing this again and this should never be an option. Pregnancy is preventable. Me and my boyfriend were just careless. I pray everyday that god will forgive me for throwing away his gift. And one day when I'm ready he will have mercy and bless me with another.

Have you asked God to forgive you? He will you know. But he already know's how you feel and i can bet he's already given you a pass. You MUST forgive yourself, you need make closure. I am sure God know's that you are sorry and hurting, and when he think's the time is right, he will bless you again. Just learn from this and use protection from now on until you are ready. Don't jump into geting pregnant right away to make up for this incident, your not ready, physically or mentally.

Your right about the other women who have this done, they herd them in like cattle, and they don't even care really. Some have 3 and 4 of these procedure's done and it's nothing to them. Like i said earlier, all they worry about is when they can get back into bed again...and it's not to sleep!!

You sound like you have hugh respect for yourself, don't loose that. I am neither for or against abortion, and the government has given us a choice. My only complaint is against the women who make it a habit. There should be a cut off point after the first one, then an adoption plan should be put in place. There are couple's out there who can not conceive and woud cut off an arm to be able to hold a precious pink or blue bundle. I am not raggin on you, just voicing an opinion. I believe you have served your time and i know that you will never put yourself thru this again.

Your gonna be fine hon, trust me. I went thru the same thing that you are and i promised myself that i never wanted to make myself feel this lost and empty ever again. I have 5 children (6 if you count...wel u know) and 5 grandchildren. I think about my mishap every so often and it still hurt's even tho it's been year's. I went to a forune teller and she somehow knew about that..freaky huh? She told me that i have a daughter in heaven and she hang's out with my grandmother. I don't know about all that stuff but how the hell did she know that?

Anyway...Take a breath and look into some therapy. You won't need it for long i'm sure. But if you feel like you can get thru it on your own, that's okay too.

Thank you so much. Talking to you has helped me a lot. I am going to seek therapy. I do pray this does get easier over time. But I do know this was definiantly a lesson learned and one I nor my boyfriend will not take lightly.

I am not a religious person, but i do believe in God. He is on your side. Your not a bad person, you don't kill people or rob people, your not mean and nasty, your a good person with a kind heart and the man upstair's know's that. It will get easier, it did for me, tho you will never forget. Promise that you won't be to hard on yourself and let your boyfriend pamper you a little, you need that.

You sound like your going to get it together with the help of a therapist, good for you. If you need to talk, don't forget where i am. In the meantime, bring in the New Year with a positive attitude and a strong mind. You will be ok, i promise. Love the 2 little one's that depend on you the most as kid's have a way of keeping us strong.

Happy New Year Zique, and God bless you friend.

I just recently had an abortion , about three weeks ago. This was my first pregnancy ever. I was scared didnt know what to do finacially, being single, nobody to fall back on, being just kickd out my parents house, not stabled where i'm staying, and nothings right for me. The guy agreed and gave the money to do the abortion, so that enough made me more worried. I kind of didn't want to do it, but i kew I couldnt keep it !  I had a couple friend who been through it and a couple family members who did it before, they supported me and acted like it's was the best choice for me cause i'm not ready so they said. everybody kept telling me it's your choice you do whats best for you. So i listened which i regret! BUT NOBODY TOLD ME THAT IT WAS GOING TO FEEL THAT WAY AFTER "GUILT, SELFISH, UNCARING, FOR THE MOST PART TOO EMOTIONAL! ND ETC" I'm just now trying to recover from those emotions. I keep praying and asking god for forgiveness. But my main question is HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF?? "my first child, my future" I guess I'll learn to do so because whats done is done bt Reading all these coments and your story made me realize i'm not in this emotional boat Post-Abortion feelings alone. all these stories effect me in the same exact way! These womens that repeats this is insane (bt no matter what it has to effect them in some kind of way) because the way i felt after the procedure if i was to ever do it again i would probably kill myself as i had threatning to do, I felt a way I've never felt my whole entire life!! bt i know a couple women who did it before and i talk to them all the time and they're very supportive, as they would tell me "It's ok to talk to me because you need somebody to talk to or else you might go insane" so Find someone to talk to that will be very supportive like a therapist or someone who'se been in that same situation like a friend or something. your partner remember he's just a man! like mines he talks to me bt i feel like he's getting tired of me talking about it. Everything's going to be ok atleast you already have two count on them!