I have been dating woman now for a year that I truly love and wish I could propose, but..once in a while (usually after a few drinks but not wasted, and she doent have a drinking problem) she will over react to sumthing meaningless and goes from 0-60 and blows up at me. She gets verbally mean and abusive and you cant argue with her when this happens, even if she is totally wrong. She stonewalls me and the argument and hate flows over into other issues from previous outbursts. The next day she acts like nuthing happened and NEVER addresses the incident or apologizes. Its like its swept under the carpet and everything returns to normal until it happens again and again. I had her mover back in with her mom after one of these last weekend and told her she needs to see someone. I told her I will be there for her but dont want to be around one another until counciling is underway and she takes it serious as in the past she always promised to but never took the initiative. We are both 30. I have done some research and finds she matches MANY of the traits of a BPD. She has stated before her last ex was abusive and put her down all the time but doesnt open up or talk about it much. My question is: is going through a bad relationship the past few years in her 20's enough to damage her personality to make her like this? Or would it have been a seed planted deeper at a younger age to manifest into this disorder as stated by all this research linking childhood sexual abuse and bpd? Im concerned because if she IS manipulative as a BPD would be, could she just blame all this on an Ex to avoid facing the reality of abuse as a child? She also has endometriosis and always had excuses for these outburts blaming them on hormone meds for that condition, but she dont take it anymore so theres no excuse for her. Is it plausible that this past relationship is the culprit? Or just another excuse? I feel ashamed doubting her if it were true. So I am reaching out to anyone who is caring enough to read this and offer their opinion.