I need something cleared up....
I'm getting close to 30 and although I have had relationships where I have been sexually active, haven't had intercourse before but have been masturbating on average once a day, from the age of 14...so that's obviously ALOT of self stimulating and orgasms of the last 15 years.
Now I'm wondering about my erections....I've read that an erection needs to have its hardness maintained for a sufficient period of time. I'm not sure if I can do that....for example I notice when I masturbate I can get my erection hard, although maybe not all that hard like 70%, but then as soon as I stop touching it, it will go softer...IS THIS NORMAL? I read that you need CONSTANT arousal in order to maintain erections...TRUE? I'm confused because I'm so used to just whacking off that I haven't really analysed what's going on here until I've been reading these forums.
During the only two occasions where I tried to have sexual intercourse my erection, although hard to begin with, went soft. However, I should mention that I CAN get hard if and when I kiss my gf or have a passionate embrace etc. OR when I recall something sexual from my past OR just see some porn WITHOUT having to touch myself. For example the other week when I was kissing my gf out on the street, I notice myself getting hard. However when I'm watching porn I will always have to touch myself in order to get hard and MAINTAIN it...if I let go and stop touching then it will eventually go soft even if I carry on watching the arousing material....I feel I the hardness should be maintained even if "switch off" or something? In order to keep the hardness I have I need to KEEP TOUCHING MYSELF AND HAVE AROUSING THOUGHTS/PICTURES.
On top of this I realise I have other barriers which have probably affected my mental state of mind and as a result affect my erections when it comes to sexual activity...including my strong Christian background which has taught me that sex before marriage is wrong, uncertainty about the girlfriends I have been with (whether I really want to be with them or not etc.), my compulsive porn and masturbation habit.
So there are alot of other issues (which infact I have detailed in my first thread), but 3 things I'm worried about -
1. whether my erection is hard enough for penetration in the first place
2. why my erection's hardness isn't maintained for the duration of sexual activity or why when I stop touching myself I will lose hardness
3. whether the "no sex before marriage" rule that I've held so strongly still has a hold on me
When you was talking about when you kiss your girl friend and you get hard but you have to keep toughing yourself when your watching porn to keep hard my thought's on this is because you are actually kissing some one and there's that sexual tension between you two but porn is just watching some one else having sex so youre not actually involved and that's possibly why you have to keep touching yourself? I dont really know because im not a boy but that's my opinion:-)
My thought's on the christianity part is that some of the rules they have are brilliant and more people should listen and obey, But i wouldn't let it rule my life, Your not going to get into trouble from making love with your girl friend before marriage, If it feels right to you its your choice and i know God is your belief but isn't God about forgiveness aswell? I wouldnt worry about it :-)
what helps me in these situations: 1. smoke weed 2. increase the bodys testosterone levels 3. dont get a girlfreind, the 3rd one works best for me but take your pic